Duh!Family Help!?

Question

I feel like I am going to loose my mind! I have a 9 yr old son that does nothing but whine. He is constatly asking for something. He always wants something to eat/drink, me 2entertain him, let him play electronic games(I limit only 1 hr a day), take him to store 2buy game/toy, go to fast food for treat. This is CONSTANT! We have a very structured household. He has the same routine everyday with a couple of chores. He tries 2 get out of his chores(trash/dog poo/set dinner table). If anyone in the house gets anything he doesnt he throws a tantrum. I have talked with him, punished him. You name it, I have tried it. Picking weeds, scrubbing walls, no electronics, etc,. I have even tried 4 different therapists. He has always been like this. Everyone has tried to label him different with different medication. I have only tried 2 types but never gave them a chance because I was afraid 2 medicate. Has anyone else had a loved 1 like this? What do I do now? Wish to hear from some familiar w/this

Answer 1

ignore the behavior.  when the whining starts, send him to his room.  let him know when he speaks well and encourage the age appropriate voice.

Answer 2

i nanny for a family that is really structured.  is he in scouts? baseball?  football?  how does he get along with kids his own age?  have you tried the "natural route?"  

i agree that they shouldn't be sitting in front of video games, but maybe play board games, or do art with him...maybe have a day where there isn't so much structure.....where he can go wild and crazy (kind of).  

i wouldn't try to seek out a label...maybe he is more independent, doesn't like the restriction of a schedule.  remind him of his chores that he needs to get them done, and when he does them have a reward chart (for all your kids).  

about him throwing tantrums, i'd try to calm him down, let him know that he doesn't always need to have what everybody else has

for punishment take away his favorite thing so electronics

and he is 9 he should be able to get his own food and drink...

Answer 3

Do you have any other children? As a mom you really have to go with your instincts on this. If you feel something is wrong, which it sounds like you do, keep looking for help. I know you said you took him to 4 different therapists and they all wanted to use medication. If you don't feel comfortable using medication take him to a behaviorial therapist. They will try to find a way to treat without medication. Boredom will also lead to whining, and a constant need for attention so make sure he has things to do. You obviously don't want him playing the electronic games, or watching tv all the time because you mentioned you set limits for him. What other activities do you have for him to do? I have 3 boys and they are all great. I have one that whines more than the others (he just turned 8) and he also has some anxiety issues so he does see a therapist. She just gives him ideas on what he can do. I have sat in on some of the sessions and it was really eye opening. Parenting is tough because there is no rule book and everyone has different opinions. I have family that have all of their children on one form of medication or another and it works for them so no one should judge them. People do though all of the time. I don't feel comfortable medicating my child so I don't. Do what feels right for you.

Answer 4

Wow! He is a 9 year old, not a 18 year old! Kids are going to be kids, and he sounds like a normal boy to me.

Answer 5

I don't know what to tell you.  But it is not normal for a 9 year old to throw a tantrum.  By what I have read it seem like you have try everything that I would.  You could try researching it a little bit on the computer.  I don't know how your house is but maybe he is doing it to get attention, he may feel left out and don't know any other way to get your attention.  I think that you and your son, just the two of you, should make time once a week to go somewhere that he likes and hang out.  If you have a husband have him come with you two but if you have others children then leave them at home. And just hang with him and talk to him.  If this does not help then I have no other suggest.  So I hope this help.  good luck

Answer 6

I don't have familiar story but i am wondering if he is socially anxious or too clingy to you personally? I know you went to therapist but what did they test him for? Was he tested for Autism? There is a form called functioning autistic children. They have certain trends but they are not typical Autistic children because they well Function on their own. Try to take him to specialist center to deal with these issues/ Many therapist are not trained to do these kind of tests Adan they mis diagnose. See in your local area and good luck!

Answer 7

first of all i know A LOT of whiny 9 year olds.

make sure you aren't reinforcing his behavior. don't answer him until he asks in a polite (or normal!) way. remind him that he can speak to you like a big kid and you won't accept anything else. then ignore the behavior. this may lead to some tantrums and will be REALLY tedious and hard on you, but think about it. why should he change his bad behavior if he is getting what he wants, attention. if you really want to change the behavior it is going to be work.

if he does his chores without prodding or whining then reward that. everyday! one week of chores done without whining means a trip to mcdonald's or whatever. if he doesn't comply, then no reward.

if food and drink are a problem make something available for him, that doesn't require you to get it for him. cereal. apples. whatever.

and NO MATTER WHAT! set aside some time with just you and him that you can spend time doing what he wants. no matter if he is good or bad or whiny or a prince. nothing shows a kid that you love and accept them like spending time with them, doing things that interest them.

Answer 8

I think that might be just how he is. I would still maybe talk to him again about it. I hope this helped.

-Tara