Dying from lukiemia, and friends are acting different. advice?

Question

sorry, i know that it isn't health related, but i would appreciate any type of advise

as some people have already responded to previous questions, i have terminal lukiemia, and it will end up killing me in about 5 months now. im not looking for pity or conforting, but i don't know how to deal with my friends

i told my friends and they are treating me like i am going to pass out on them at any minute. they are afraid to do anything with me because they think that it will take the time away that i have with them. they don't think that i should do anything physical at all, and it is getting to the point where it is really bad and they think that walking around the mall for 2 hours is too much. i still want to be able to act normally with my friends, and no matter how i try to explain that i can still do stuff like that, they think that im just toughing through it. most of them have researched it, and it says that im supposed to be in alot of pain, but im not yet, and i want to spend the time that im not in pain with them like we used to.

my boyfriend is the being weird about it too. he is acting like a slave to me, and i don't want him to think that i need that. he is acting like i should be treated like a queen, and he is spending a lot of money on me taking me places that he thinks that i should have before i go. how i am supposed to deal with my friends changing attitudes? i know that they are concerned, but i want to be able to hang out with them the same way that i used to, because they are not even acting like themselves anymore. help!

Answer 1

Leukemia*

Answer 2

I almost died 10 years ago, and after the illness, they told me that I could drop dead anytime in the next three months after I was septic. The doctor explained that the infection could be hiding near my heart, and I would just have a heart attack, I would go into a full blown heart attack, the situation could not be prevented. I did not have a good support system and everyone ignored I was seriously ill, I was angry, however, that is part of the grief process. I now live every day like I am dying, I enjoy the heck of life, I do let myself get down, but not to the point of the inability to do things. Go, do what ever you want, let your boyfriend spoil the heck out of you, everyone is dying, you just have a heads up. Go to Paris, if you choose, tell your friends, I am doing this because I want to. Lets have fun, lets have as many laughs as possible. Be silly, do things you have always wanted to do, like that movie the bucket list. After my experience, I have done everything I wanted to do, and I actually had to make a new list. :) Life is full of surprises, so let your friends and yourself be filled with fun and surprises, you have time to mend wounds, cherish friends, and have some great laughs..  

Answer 3

My 16 year old brother just recently died from cancer, and he also had that problem. He hated the way people treated him different then other people and he hated getting special attention. My advice would be that if people are acting strange around you due to your condition, don't be afraid to just quietly tell them to stop. then they will be likely to tell other people that that's what you want. They will get the idea sooner or later. Hope this advice works. (PS I have learned that doctors are required to tell you the worst possible scenerio. My brother lived a year past when the doctors told him he was gonna die, and I know someone that lived 6 years past the date.)

Answer 4

Reading this brings tears to my eyes and I can't imagine what you are going through and I think that is what is going on with your friends.  They don't understand what you are going through because they have not been there and I think they are confused as well.  Because of that confusion they are acting different.  This is not a so called "normal" situation and they don't know how to act normal because it doens't feel normal to them.  

I just found out that a friend and ex boyfriend had emergency surgery yesterday due to his cancer and the prognosis isn't good. I have always called and sent cards during this time he never responded but he never responded when he didn't have cance either and I am concerned and I don't know how to communicate that to him without upseting him more.  I know I want to reach out and don't know how and I think your friends feel the same way.  They also want to reach out to you without making things feel worse and may not know how to do that without also causing you any additional harm.  So I would just sit down with them and tell them how you feel and that you want to spend the time you have with them feeling joy and happiness and they may surprise as they may want to do the same.  

I hope it will all work out for you and I will pray for a miracle for you.  Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

I don't pretend to know what you are feeling right now but I'm sure it is not easy for them either.  Have you told them how you feel?  You need to be honest with them and tell them that you want to experience life to its fullest potential now that you are still able.  

It will be difficult for them to accept but I'm sure that eventually they will understand that this is what you need from them.  I'm sure they love you and they just want to take care of you.  

take care of yourself and enjoy the company of those you love.    

Answer 6

I've never been in your position but i think that telling them by just having them around and smiling makes you feel better. Because yeah they may no know how to react and it may seem weird but their trying to make you feel comfortable but by doing that what their really doing is making you feel uncomfortable. If I was in your shoes I'd talk one on one with each of them and poor out how you feel about how their acting differently. And well if that doesn't wok just try to understand them and switch shoes with them because they truly care about you. Its not gonna be easy when in a way you feel like your frustrated with being treated differently because of the leukemia but just try to put a smile on your face every time they ask if your ok because what their really saying is that they care and love you. Your very lucky t have their support just try to make the best of it and don't try to think its pity in actuality its because their scared of losing you. You have some really nice fiends.. don't forget to thank them. They really care and love you.

Answer 7

Lynnia...

I will tell you a story of a friend of mind whom had AML (Acute Myeloid Leukaemia)

He relapsed 3 times, and the last time he did, he only had months to live. myself and my sister have both had cancer, i had lung cancer when I was 16, my sister had a Wilm's Tumour (kidney) We both know how tough it is for someone that is going through cancer.

We did everything for our beautiful friend, write to him, even though we saw him everyday, buy him gifts and we organized for his favourite team to go and see him before he did pass on.

When I was in hospital, I had no support from friends, and then when I went back to school they did not talk to me, and acted really weird around me, pretty much what you have described.

I put that as to them not understanding what I went through, and wanting to do their bit to help even though they were changed in the attitudes. In some ways they do this because they love you so much and do not want you to pass on at such a young age. They want to spend every precious moment and experience life to the fullest. As for them trying to prohibit you to walk and things like that, tell them you are capable to do it, and you do not want to feel like a child that needs constant caring at this stage of your illness. I will pray for you, but please, keep hope and be positive. I hope my answer helped you a liitle bit more in comprehending. I have been there and done that, so I know what you mean. Be strong and God bless you!

Answer 8

tell them that you want to live the best of youre life.

tell them to treat you the same, and that is what you realy want,.

youre freinds are just being sensitive and caring, youre very lucky to have such great friends, and such a good boyfriend.

im so sorry to hear of youre illness, live youre life to the fullest, and youre in my prayers.