Ear pinching, pulling or twisting....?

Question

....of a four year old, is this abusive or excessive?

and if your four year old child went around 'smashing you' (punching), and said he learned it from your ex and that daddy smashes him all the time, even tho there are no bruises and ex says its just a game but your child says it hurts, would you be concerned?

Answer 1

I do not know if it would be classified as abuse but I definitely think it's excessive.

If it's a 'game' then simply tell his father that, game or no game, it's hurting your son and you'd like him to stop.  Have your son tell him it hurts and that he doesn't want to "play that" any more.

Your son hitting you is completely unacceptable.  It must stop.  Remove him from you any time he does it, find an acceptable (to you) punishment that will teach him the consequences of that action and demand that he show you respect.  Start today.  It will not improve but only worsen as he gets older.

Good luck and take good care of yourself!

Answer 2

Yes you should be concerned, but don't overreact just yet.  Your child is 4 and sometimes they can say things that aren't entirely true.  You should call your ex immediately and tell him what your son said (about it hurting him.) If your ex blows you off and says it's just a game, let him know that you are not okay with your son playing that way and you want it to stop.  If it doesn't, you need to speak with someone in a family court or possibly CPS if you are really worried.

Do not slap your ex across the face as someone suggested.  What kind of message would you be sending to your child about hitting if you did that?  

You can also teach your child to tell his dad that the game hurts and he doesn't like it.  Maybe it really is a game and dad is just a bit too rough.  Your son needs to learn to speak up and say "I don't like that, it hurts."  

Answer 3

I'd personally slap the ex across the face.

Answer 4

IF HE'S DOING THAT AT FOUR THEN HE'LL BE HITTING WITH TWO BY FOURS WHEN HE TURNS FOURTEEN NIP THAT IN THE BUD NOW IT WON'T GET ANY BETTER AND I HOPE FOR SAKE THAT YOUR SON DOESN'T TURN AROUND HIT YOU AS WELL BEHIND WHAT HIS DAD IS BLATTENLY SHOWING HIM CAUSE BOYS WHO GET HIT ,   ALSO HIT!!  

Answer 5

Yes... I'd be VERY concerned.  Concerned enough to not let the dad see the child until you've gone through mediation, psychologist, or something!  And if you're asking opinions, which it seems like you are, then yes, I think "ear pinching, pulling and twisting" is abusive.  I don't feel that we have the right to hurt our children in ANY way.  

Answer 6

Definately a cause for concern. A child that young wouldn't come up with horrible tales about a parent like that. Keep your child away from him for a bit, or contact social services.

Answer 7

  I would be very, very disturbed by this and do something. In my opinion this is abusive and a child who lives with abuse learns to be abusive! My husband is nearly deaf and credits it to having his ears pulled by his second grade school teacher!