Earlier I asked about putting my baby into temp foster care. I decided I won't do that. Instead...........

Question

I'm strongly considering going to a family shelter. I have no family as I was a foster child and once you turn 18 your own your own. I want to thank most of you for your advice, but one person in particular I think was confused about my problem. "Just Curious", you sound very angry about how some mothers change their minds when they give up their babies and how it hurts the adoption parents. I never said I wanted to put my baby up for adoption so what you said has nothing to do with me. I'm sorry you went through that but please don't be angry with me for wanting to keep my baby.

Answer 1

Lets see, what are your options....

you want to keep your baby!! AWESOME!! Do you need things like supplies for her or you? or do you need care for her while you finish school? Where are you living now, and can you stay there after you have her? Can you finish school at home? do you know any other mothers that would exchange care for care? Do you have a job? what state are you living in? email me the state and i'll see if i can find you some help.

Answer 2

I wish you and your baby the best god bless you.

Answer 3

Where is the father? Im not sure about what country you are in but here by law the father has to pay child supoort you should check into it. I hope it all works out for you and the baby, Good Luck.

Answer 4

I believe you have made a wise decision, even to going to a family

shelter. If I were you, I would sign up for Parenting Classes, and

even attend some Foster-Care Classes, if necessary, to learn

more about Parenting.

Through DHS, you are eligible for some State Benefits, while

you are pregnant, and they have a Work Program too, for after

the baby is born.

It is not difficult to be assigned to an apartment, in a Project

section of Housing, or apply for HUD, to pay part of your rent.

Should you have relatives, you might choose to reside with

them.

When you say that you were a Foster Child, and that you have

NO FAMILY, then that cannot be true. Everyone has family some-

where.

You might want to seek some help in finding out who were your

relatives. You might have some who love you a lot, and want to

be friends with you.

I love genealogy, and found that I have more than 4,500 relatives

in this State of Oklahoma, and about that many in Tennessee, and

also in Virginia and North Carolina.

It's a big world out there, and you do have relatives, I assure you.

I wish you happiness with your baby. TF

Answer 5

My husband and I are taking classes to get certified as foster parents and in our class earlier tonight, the issue of "help for foster care kids who age out of the system" was discussed.  Not sure about other states, but Texas has a group called PALS who helps those kids who have aged out of the foster system in those first few critical years.  You might see if your state has something like that ( perhaps call your old caseworker who could possibly put you in touch with some help).  Congrats for taking the steps to put your child first, it takes a ton of hard work and effort, but it is worth it ten fold.

Answer 6

I'm so glad you decided to keep your child and not put them in foster care! I hope you will be able to find the resources to help you. Listen to Gershom, she knows what she's talking about. Good luck to you and I hope you will let us know how it goes!

Answer 7

How can you think that a family shelter would be a good environment for your baby?  Temporary foster care would be so much better.  Then you could get your life together and get an apartment that you and your child could live in.

Answer 8

I am SO glad to hear this. Please do email Gershom, she's a whiz with resources.

And yes, if you check into group homes, just make sure they're not affiliated with an agency.

Good luck!

(And Gersh, if find out the state/resources needed, email me through my blog, I'll see if I can help.)

Answer 9

I want to commend you for following your heart and doing what you feel is right for you and your baby.  You are a strong courageous person to make this decision knowing it's not going to be 'fun' or easy living in a shelter.  No it won't be fun.  No it won't be easy but you will learn, grow and improve your circumstances.  It won't be like this forever.  Remember that.  You have an inner strength that you are obviously aware of and I know you will use that strength to secure a good life for you and your child.  You can do it.  With that strength and the courage you have demonstrated in making this decision you can and you will succeed.

Congratulations.  All my best to you and baby.

Answer 10

WOO HOO HOO!!!

You go girl.

I'm so very happy for you and your baby today.

Seek out all the help you can get sweetie.

I'm thinking of you from all the way down here in OZ!!

You're going to be a GREAT mum.

All my very best wishes,

Poss. x*x

Answer 11

Cool.  A shelter is a better choice.  As a former foster parent, once you surrender your child, you cant just get it back when you want to.  Good luck, life sure can be tough, but if you make some good goals, for you and your baby, I'm sure you'll achieve them.

Answer 12

Good luck I wish you the best! I can imagine how tough it is to be on your own. But keeping your baby is the right thing to do!

Answer 13

I'm very happy for you and your baby! Keeping your baby with you is a decision that you can take pride in.

Best of luck!

Answer 14

In addition to family shelters, there are group homes run by private organizations who want to help to keep families together.  They help with diapers, formula, housing, health care, and education.

Be EXTREMELY careful tho' when you talk to group homes.  Many of them are part of the adoption industry.  If they mention adoption at all, run away from them as fast as you can.  Those kind of places only want to make money off you by selling your baby.

And please don't let people get to you who feel they are entitled to a baby just because they have money.  They are angry at you because you can get pregnant.

Answer 15

please keep your baby, let them grow up and know that you were there, even if you dont know how to parent them. they will always know that you kept them for long, and actually couldnt abandon them.