Early terrible 2's?? - Mum's and Dad's to answer only pls?

Question

Hiya

My mate has an 18 month old child who has tantrums like anything. She is loosing her temper and shouts at her child in my opinion a little bit too much. I know parenting isnt easy - my friend is a single parent - but she is starting to smack her child too.

Her personality is changing too and she is very quick to criticise people from strangers, to best mates, to close family.

What can I do or say to help her? At the rate she is going she is going to drive everyone away which I dont want for her or her child.

How did other parents cope? Pls note that my mate is a single parent where the Dad only visits once a month if that!

HELP!

Answer 1

try to get her to talk to her doctor as she could (understandably) be depressed

offer to look after her child for her to give her a break not just once but on a regular basis as having to consider the needs of a child 24/7 is not easy to do

if the mother is happier and calmer then the child will be calmer too, this is not going to stop the tantrums but it might make them shorter or not occur so often

good luck and remember just be there and be the good friend that you are already because you asked for help

Answer 2

I know where you friend is coming from.

I was a single parent.

It is so easy to slip into shouting at your child, always "no, don't do that, etc".

Her child will realise that the only attention s/he gets from Mum is when the child is doing something wrong. So a pattern forms.

If your friend can try to ignore the tantrums, just remove her child from harm; then it will get easier. She should give the child loads of praise when the child does something 'good' or listens to Mum and does as s/he is told.

It is so difficult. When a child is playing up constantly it is so easy to slip into the negative way of talking.

You sound like a good friend. Try to convince the Mum that this phase won't last.

This is where she sets the ground rules for the future.

Hope all works out OK. Be there for the Mum too, she needs a little bit of 'me' time. Just to relax and re charge her batteries......young kids are so hard to deal with.

But we have to deal with them, for their future.

Answer 3

Hi,being a single mum myself I know how tough it can be .I've managed to keep away from smacking him,or yelling, but every parent/child is different.What can you do to help her?Take the kid off of her hands for a few hours.Do it as a favour,so that your friend can catch up on sleep/treat herself to something etc.Sometimes kids act up because they keep seeing that same face over and over again-in other words-boredom.If not that,then tell your friend you'll come over to help her out.Another thing that worked miracles,and relaxed  my boy was reading to him.Maybe if you could pop over to your local library and get her some baby/childrens books(with lots of bright colours) it may help calm the little one,thus allowing both mummy and kid to relax.To be smacking a baby is wrong,if not dangerous.As a last resort take her to the docs,maybe they can refer her to a councillor,which often helps.Shes really lucky to have a friend like yourself who cares.take care,all the best.

Answer 4

There are no right or wrong answers, i have a 2 1/2 year old, and although she is a little angel normally, when she's a swine she seriously tries my patients. I guess the main thing to think about is support, your mate is lucky to have someone like you who obviously feels for her as you've bothered to seek advice.

I often used a website called www.babycentre.co.uk to look for advice and to chat to others mums who's kids are the same age etc.

Its so easy to fall into the trap of criticising others when really its just to mask your own insecruity and frustrations. Try to be supportive, in whatever way you can, whether its spending more time with her and the lil one, or helping her to spend some quality time with friends so she feels at least half human again. I know its not that easy, but half the battle is having mates like you who care.

Try the website, it might help. Good luck