Easiest way to get your child on a bedtime schedule?

Question

my daughter is nearly 4, i have spoiled her to no end, i know it is my fault, she goes to bed when she wants and sleeps late if i do, what is the easiest way for a push-over mother to fix this problem?

Answer 1

You have to bite the bullet. Tell her that in half an hour (before you want her to go to bed) that it is time for bed. Then at the appointed time put her to bed. I am not saying this is going to be easy yes she will probably cry or come out of her room but you have to be strong. If she is crying she is breathing and if she comes out of her room just put her back into bed and remind her calmly that it is time for bed.

You know yourself that you should have done something about this before now but if you do this  you will save yourself a lot of hassle in the future.

Don't forget you are the mum and not her.

You may feel guilty if she cries but just think of when she goes to bed without crying and you have a peaceful evening and night to look forward to. the thing to do is wait for her to stop crying then give it a little while and check on her. you know what children are like she may have fallen asleep on the bedroom floor!

Best of luck and I hope it works for you.

Answer 2

As your a push over mum you will need to reward her for good bedtime behaviour. Be as strict as you can cope with.

from a pushover dad.

Answer 3

I'd do all of the above and also try to explain about being grown up and being in training for starting school - I always found that when I gave my children reasons that made sense to them they were more on side.

Making the rituals enjoyable is really good - I still love going to bed and all the little things I do for myself.

Answer 4

Hi H.

OK,  to begin with do not reproach yourself, we have all been there.

H. children no matter what age, are very clever at getting adults to conform to their will.  They are very apt at pulling at our heart strings. As babies their only way of communication is crying, they study our reactions to this and learn.

They soon realize that it is the way to achieve their needs.

H. as with all children routine and consistency is the most effective way of dealing with them. Ask any Teacher how they run a class and they will say the same.

It affords the child, "SECURITY".

[1] Choose a time you feel is appropriate for her to go to bed.

[2]  Stick to it.

[3] Establish a routine.

You've chosen, the time, lets say 7.30pm. Begin the routine with a warm bath add a drop of Lavender Oil, this will help her to relax. Next, nice warm towels to dry with. Remember tell her it is bed time. After the bath, allow her to choose a book and together read  a story. H. your voice should be soft and relaxed. This will help calm her.  Finished, take her to her room which has the blinds drawn and a night light on. Settle her in her bed.

She  will offer resistance and will test your will. Do not give in. It is important to remember to remain calm. remember also your voice,CALM.

Tell her you are going to stay with her until she  falls  asleep. Do not keep up a conversation.

H. remember you are not being cruel.  She has to learn. This

is one of our responsibilities as parents. May I suggest before you begin this new regime you begin by having a Girly Day out.  Take her to a shop and allow her to choose new covers for her bed. I have found that Argus have a great selection of Bed clothes.

This will work. Though it will take time.

Remember H. ROUTINE and CONSTANCY.

I hope this helps.

Good luck my friend,

Cathorio.

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Answer 5

You now have to undo what you have done which is going to be difficult. Be prepared for some tantrums.  Set a bedtime and stick to it.  Taker her to bed and read her a story and be firm.  Firstly, decide if this is really the way you want to go and not a whim - the worst thing for a child is inconsistency.

Answer 6

It's never too late to enforce rules. Decide on a bedtime, tell her that's when she'll be going to bed, then follow through. If she fights it or won't stay in bed punish her. It'll be hard at first but she'll realize who's the boss and she'll comply. Once she starts school you'll be so glad you did.