Easy 10 points!?

Question

write one of the funniest jokes you have ever heard: including yo mama jokes.

or you can tell a funny short story...

lol, im bored after playing lotro

Answer 1

You so ugly your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

You so ugly everytime your mamma sees you she says to your daddy "d**n I should of just gave you head".

A little black boy goes up to his white mother and asks "mum why am I black?". The mum looks back at him and says "When I look back it's a wonder you don't bark".

Your mamma is so dumb when she got locked in Woolworths she died of starvation.

Your mamma is so fat she has her own post code.

Your mamma's so nasty she put salt water down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.

Your mamma's **** so hairy they look like coconuts.

Your mamma's so fat that when she goes to cinema she sits next to everyone.

Your mamma's so fat that when she goes to the beach the whales start singing "We are family".

Answer 2

So the chicken and the egg are laying undersheets in bed. The chicken is smiling and smoking a cigarette. The egg looks highly upset. and the chicken goes "well I guess that answers that question"....

lol

GET IT!!???? lol, i like/d it

Answer 3

chuck norris walked down the street with a huge erection once..... there were no survivors

Answer 4

You're so ugly every one sent your parents  sympathy cards when you were born instead of congrats !

Fat people's favorite cookies are.... PIG NEWTONS !!!!!

Answer 5

i have a few try these if they could make the trick~~!!!!!!!!

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night.

He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.

What's with that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.

It's not a gong. It's a talking clock", the drunk replied. A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.

"Yup", replied the drunk.

How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.

"Watch", the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "You a*****e! It's three-fifteen in the morning!

joke2

A father and son snake are out for a nice afternoon slither.

The son asks, "Dad is we poisonous snakes?"

The father replies proudly, "Yes son, we are rattler snakes! Why do you ask son?"

"Because DAD, I just bit my tongue!!"

joke3

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby girl.

"Congratulations!' says the nurse to the new parents. "Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?"

The puzzled father looks at his new baby girl and says, "Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name her..."

Are you ready for this?

sum ting wong~~!!!

joke4

A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand.

There's a hole in one of the bags and every once in a while a $20 bill comes flying out of it onto the pavement.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her. "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."

"d**n!" says the little old lady, "I'd better go back and see if I can gather up some of them. Thanks!"

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "Where did you get that money? Did you steal it?"

"Oh, no," says the little old lady. "You see, my yard backs up to the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes right into my flower beds! So, I stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper and each time some guy sticks through the bushes, I say; '$20 or off it comes!'"

"Hey not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "Ok, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well," says the little old lady, "not all of them pay up.

Answer 6

mommy mommy. why does my teacher call me a little monkey.

Shut up and comb your face.

Answer 7

Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee ... except Chuck Norris.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Answer 8

Ok well this man named Kevin went to a bar and met a woman sitting next to him.......he asked her..."what is your name" and she said "Andie".....and then Andie says do you want to go to my apartment...and kevin says yes.........they go to the apartment and they start to cuddle and kiss.......whn the girl was changing he found a picture of a guy on her bed.....he asked who is this man in the picture..."is it your husband....and Andie says No silly.....and kevin says.....your boyfriends....and Andie says nope.....and Kevin says your brother....and Andie says No and then giggles......Kevin said "then who is it" ...Andie goes and has s*x with him and then Kevin says so who is it....and Andie says..."That was me before my operation"

Answer 9

So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is "wut r u doing wit my daughter?" U tell ur girl n she say "my dad is ded". THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

Answer 10

A lady goes on the bus with her baby. The guy sitting next to her says "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

The lady goes stomping to the back of the bus. She tells the guy next to her "That man just insulted me."

Then the guy next to her says "Oh, you better go tell him off. Here I'll hold your monkey."

Answer 11

CHuck Norris was making sweet love in a bull dozer and got some sperm on the seat we now know this bulldozer as optimus prime :]