Easy Ten Points Can You Please Rate My Poem And Tell Me What You Think?

Question

Let's run away...Just name a place

Where the air tastes like rain and the glowing night sky reflects on your face.

Lets capture the moments and leave the city lights behind.

The moment freezes in perfection as i wish upon a shooting star.

Your eyes are the stars and my heart is the sky, it just fits.

*Take my heart in your hands but be careful its fragile

Lets blend our hearts to echoe in harmony.

When the sun rises at night,thats when i'll take my heart back.

*I may remove this line

Just tell me what you think of it and please dont be rude.

Please write more then one sentence not one liners like "I hate it/I love it".

Answer 1

use some romantic words

Answer 2

I love it. Bloody brilliant! So evocative and the imagery? Wow! Wonderful work...thank you for sharing!

Answer 3

I didnt much like it, it seemed heartfelt but lacked structure and timing.

Answer 4

I think the lines are good but they don't really flow very well...

I'd rate it an 8/10

Answer 5

The opening two lines are somewhat interesting in that the speaker appears to give the reader a choice, and just as quickly takes the choice away by specifying the location in such detail that there's clearly only one acceptable answer.  I was hoping that more would be made of this playful aspect of the speaker's personality, but instead the rest of it just deteriorates into derivative schlock.

I agree that you should remove sixth line, but I also want you to remove the third, fourth, and so on... try to be more original and to express something real.