Eating in front of strangers?

Question

at the age of 14 i was diagnosed with aneroxia and spent 6 months in a psychiatric hospital to build myself back up.....anyway i am now nearly 17 and i am at a healthy weight but i still cant eat my meals infront of my family because i feel that they think that i am being a pig and i convince myself that they are staring at me when i eat so i take my food upstairs to my bedroom and eat by mysyself otherwise i don't eat a tall....so as you can imagine.....i can't go out to a restuarant and eat or eat in front of my friends because i become to conscious.....my birthday is coming up soon and my parents want to take my friends and i out to a restuarant but i just can't mange it....what do you suggest?

Answer 1

I think that until you feel confident eating in front of strangers it's a bit unsupportive of your family to drag you out to a restaurant.

Have you tried eating out on your own?  I can only think you feel uncomfortable eating in front of your parents because they know of your previous problems - whereas Joe public doesn't know you were Anorexic so won't be conscious that you're eating well.

Hope you sort it out soon - and happy birthday!!

Answer 2

Your life will remain extremely limited if you don't learn to go out and also to eat in front of people.    You know that you need to get over your illness so just do your best bit by bit.. keep trying.  

And remember all the other people are eating too so why should you look anymore like a pig than them.

Answer 3

Come up with a better idea that they would go for other than the restaurant. Then start slowly desensitizing yourself my slowly introducing foods and you around people.  Start with an M & M.

Answer 4

I always eat in front of strangers but then again I work in Europe. Oh well, that's another answer deleted.

Answer 5

- u need to become comfortable with ur self.

- at ur party infront of others, at least eat a little bit and slowly if that is what it takes to start to becoming comfortable.

- im sure they would actually b really really happy to know u r eating with them and everyone else there. (every1 will b eating)

normally and usually no one thinks anyone is a pig for eating infront of them, no one really ever thinks that way unless u weight 30 stones and are eating two trays of food really, really fast. u must have had a negative experience or influence that has made u feel this way, slowly u will diffuse this and get better.

- eating with and infront of people is a normal everyday thing, everyone does this around the whole world and it is part of ordinary daily life.

- teach ur self to become more comfortable, when u are around the house on a normal day, get a small, light and healthy snack to munch on and walk around comfortably.

i can slightly, understand how u feel, i had a similar issue a long time ago, it took a lot of time to grow confident. Now i can say im definately normal!!  infact sometimes, now i get embarrased by remembering how negative i used to feel  : )

if it helps: u can plan what and how, and how much u r going to eat - ie;a salad, a little cake etc, eat it slowly and Remember to take it easy and enjoy the day! : )

dont get upset by making this too much of a big deal for ur self!

everyone will be accepting of u, enjoy the day by slowly munching sum stuff from ur plate.

start thinking- Yummy, Yummy Food !  : ) there see, its no big deal : )

Answer 6

well i think you are being a little paranoid when everyone else is eating they are not staring at you. so i say that if you want to go out to eat with your friends do it i way you are fine and if you keep eating  alone your family might think you are becoming anorexic again. that is just my opinion and i don't know what the whole story is so do what you feel and if all else fails just go out and have fun with your friends.

Answer 7

these are the people who are supposed to love you, tell them this is the worst thing they could ask of you, I would understand this if my daughters were in your position, you are doing great, make your own decisions.the family needs to deal with your decisions.

Answer 8

I really feel for you.  First of all, congratulations on having come this far, admitting your problem, seeking help and treatment and getting back to that healthy weight.  Your parents are probably not only wanting to celebrate your birthday but also your achievement on this front, and thought going out with friends could be a way of taking the pressure off you by surrounding you with people who know you, your past, your present and love you all the way along.  However, if you do feel uncomfortable, don't make it worse by keeping quiet about it.  If you have time, try what one of the other suggested, by just going yourself, maybe sitting in a park and drinking an orange juice.  the next day, try eating an apple sitting on a swing.  by the end of a week, do you think you could manage a salad in a small restaurant?  Good luck, and don't put too much pressure on yourself as no-one wants nor wishes you to have a relapse.  Courage, and Happy Birthday!

Answer 9

If you really dont want to do it, then talk to your parents. You shouldnt be forced to be in a position where you feel uncomfortable. Say that maybe in time you will be able to and want to, but right now you dont.

Answer 10

i think your parents are very inconsiderate of your sickness. that's like asking an alocholic to go to a bar. shame on them. we have to take minnie steps in life to get well and someone pushing does not help. we all have fears and for someone to trot on them is rude. go out with your friends. you don't have to eat. they will understand alot better than you parents.

good luck and God bless

Answer 11

First of all let me say that I can't begin to understand what you are going through because I have never been through smth like that myself.

But I can understand that it's a real problem for you and think you are very brave to talk about it like this.

I think you have to remember that when people go out to eat the food is the last thing on people's minds, it's more of a social situation, people go to talk. The food is just a sideline.

But for you I understand that it's the first thing on your mind, you have to just try to push it out of the way and think about the people you are with and the conversation you are having. I know it's easy for me to say but you have to try.

One other thing, I bet you are a really beautiful person with a great figure and part of the worry is about losing that figure. Remember that your family and friends will love you no matter what you look like. That is the most important thing.

Hope this helps.

Answer 12

I think what markh suggested is a good idea about eating out on your own, it may be the next step to take.

As for the meantime, suggest alternatives to your parents.  Ask them if they will take you and your friends to the cinema, or maybe have a small party at your house with non-alcoholic cocktails and maybe a small buffet with finger foods where you wont feel pressure to eat in front of people.

Good luck!

Answer 13

yr friends and family wont judge you

so eat in front of them its okay

Answer 14

My 7 year old niece had the same problem and she was actually sick when made to eat in company I took her out and said if  she won't eat then we will have to go home , i suggested  that if she didn't look at people when she ate she would be alright  (she had no problem drinking pop with people around) she did this and has never had a problem since , i think it was fear that caused the problem and once she found the courage to over come the fear she just forgot about the problem all together , if she could do it at 7 I'm sure you can .                                       Good Luck

Answer 15

talk to your parents about how uncomfortable you feel and im sure they'll be understanding enough. try it, it might work.