Edge of a breakdown...

Question

I barely even feel real anymore... my emotions are all blank, negative, overarching...

I can't get to sleep... I am tired even with enough sleep... I've been taking a lot of drugs lately. I've been hanging out with friends but I don't even feel real around them, like my body is there but I'm not.

I feel dissociated a lot. I feel like a nobody/loser/screwup, I have no will put myself in school. I feel anxious most of the time. My mind is never at rest it is always a pin-ball machine of thoughts. Sometimes my anxiety makes me hyperactive only for me to crash down to a low again.

I started self-injuring again last night and since then I've been very depressed... I feel like I let myself down yet I want to do it again. I feel like I am losing what little control I have on my emotions and thoughts and that I am going to really freak out. I feel like I might start having serious suicidal thoughts and I am kind of wary to trust myself not to act on them.

I feel ready to snap... like some kind of situation will make me hit someone or just breakdown in tears, or both...

I don't know... I really don't even know what to think anymore.

Answer 1

yo man calm down son that's not the way to go don't take drugs or cut yourself trust me i been there i tried of killing myself cut myself so many time and cried myself to sleep but still i kept going ..you have to think about every one who will miss you and how they are going to feel when you're gone if you don't have no family like myself keep this in your mind "i only have one life and i going to bleed out what i can out of it" yo trust me man i know man how you feel life is hard but there no giving up keep going live life to the fullest....try going for sport...try boxing like me..or working out...i am always tired to don't know why...but try man there's worse...remember theres somebody out there who have it much much worse than you or me.... like totally f up worse...retarded worse like a 49 year old virgin worse .etc

Answer 2

Zak, you are not a s***w up. You are a very smart person (I can tell by the way you write and  prev. questions) who needs support. Have you told your friends the way you feel, especially when you feel  you are there for your friends by being present but not there mentally, socially, emotionally, and just out of this world?    

I can def. relate to how you are feeling. I feel like I have nothing to offer, don't feel real, unmotivated,...etc. I also know the way I feel is only temporary and you have to realize this. I also realize I do have something to offer and I am someone. Even though I have not discovered myself completely, I know that I will at some point. If you don't like the way your life is going, only you can change it. Getting professional help and trying your best to help others is a start.  Helping others in any way possible will help you realize you are an impact.          

There is only one YOU and you need to represent YOU. Life is hard, but experiences like this is what prepare us for the future and what make us more aware of who we are and where we belong in this world.

Please get help. You know what you need to do. Just do it.   You can write me anytime you want.

Good Luck    

Answer 3

You should talk to a counselor. They can get you a prescription for some anti-depressants. And don't be ashamed to do it! I have been on meds for depression for 2 years and I'm 16. And please don't ever try to commit suicide. I have a few friends who have thought about it and you just have to remember it is a permanent solution to a temporary situation. There is so much to look forward to. I would also advise you to get off the drugs. Get clean and get involved with something like Campus Life, Youth for Christ, or a youth group. My best advice would be to fill the void in your life with God. I did it and it's the best feeling you can have. I will pray for you and God Bless you!

Answer 4

What's the question?

Answer 5

i think that you should go to the doc and tell him what is going on and see about some meds there is no shame in it i have had to be on them and now i have it together and do not have to take anything sometimes people just get into these slumps and you really should not do the drugs becuase they will only make the problems worse so if you need help with that ask them about that too

Answer 6

Listen, from what you've described  I have to tell you, don't listen to any of these telling you how to get over it. From what you said, my only advice would have to be, "Talk to a professional"! There's no shame in seeking help. You DO have one thing going for you--At least you realize you need help.There are so many out there who refuse to ask for help because they feel "ashamed". Let me tell you this, (and I know it 'first-hand'), it becomes shameful when you deny there's anything wrong! Find a professional in your area and please get help.I refused to ask for help for a long time. Finally, I had an 'emotional breakdown'.I'm getting better but I can be watching a cartoon and if it has that 'special' scene in it, I will sit here and cry like a baby--AND I'M NOW 54 yrs OLD!