Edited the poem! Care to judge the change?

Question

Old poem- http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ak9NdxIMIkTVjepkaiO21B_sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080709113936AAYOot9

Title- "Waking Dream"

Close your eyes,

And peer into the depths of your mind.

Within the darkness

Lies a maze.

Dark and foreboding,

Night may shine there,

A depressing chill.

Or blissful and calm,

Sunlight streaming,

Yet always with hidden shadows.

Be warned now,

Walk too deep and you may be trapped.

Don’t be afraid,

Cast it aside and you may have lost yourself forever.

Turn left and right,

Go around corners,

Wander about.

Danger is in each step.

Dead ends may bind you,

Hidden creatures may attack.

Be aware,

Once you close your eyes and enter,

You will be searching through for all eternity.

You can see it how you like, but I want to say that it didn't feel forced when I was writing it (in response to someone in the previous question). Thank you, and please be nice.

Answer 1

i think its nice. makes me think alot and thats good. a poem should be challeging to figure out and well you did it. very nice. it didnt feel forced. people say that about mine even when it isnt.

Answer 2

I love it. Bloody brilliant! So evocative and the imagery? Wow! Wonderful work...thank you for sharing!

Answer 3

Wow, that was beautiful, i'd love to see more of your stuff