Eight year old with no volume control?

Question

My daughter Ciana is forever yelling, even when she is not angry or excited or otherwise agitated. HOWEVER, when she IS agitated, the pitch will nearly make my eyes cross! It's making me INSANE. How can I get her to realize the volume she uses? Anyone else have the same problem? What did you do?

Answer 1

good luck my 13 year old has been loud all his life for no reason.  They even tested his hearing because, they thought he might have hearing problems.  He was just fine so I have no idea why his talking is at the volume of a yell.  My husband and I just keep reminding him his volume is too loud.  When that doesn't work we will say okay we told you your talking way too loud.  So you are not aloud to talk at all for 5 minutes.  After the 5 minutes is up we remind him why he was unable to talk.  If he does it again we will make him go another 5 minutes with out talking.  Eventually it gets through and he starts talking in a normal voice.   I don't think there is a cure though.  I have noticed my mom talks loud like him.  Some how I think he inherited it from her.  I also have to space out my visits with my mother or my skin will start to crawl.  I think it also might be the personality.  You know some one who wants to be the center of attention. So they talk loud making sure everyone hears them.  I am not saying being out going is bad at all. I just wish they would realize a confined area is not the place to talk at a level of a scream. Well good luck the 5 minute thing works best with my son and going a few days between visits work best with my mom!!!!!!!!!!!!   ( LOL )  

It is hard some times because, my husband and I talk a lot but, we are quiet people.

Good luck,

Michelle

Answer 2

your preaching to the choir. I am always telling my 8 year old to lower their volume. It hasn't changed a thing. I am hoping they grow out of it (please tell me they will....)

Answer 3

I had a similar problem with my daughter. She used a normal speaking voice most of the time, but when she got angry or agitated she would yell at the top of her lungs. It was unbearable for my ears. I learned this technique from a parenting course called "Love and Logic". (It's not easy at first). Just say I will listen to you when your voice is as soft and quiet as mine. The first time I said it she didn't know what I had said, and the volume in her voice went down a bit so that she could hear me. I then repeated what I had said and soon her voice was matching mine. You need to make sure you say it softly and calmly, otherwise it doesn't work. If that doesn't work the other thing is to send her to her room, and tell her when she can speak with the same voice you have then she can come out. It took some time, but now she is a lot less loud when she gets angry, and if she gets too loud I go back to the phrase-I will listen to you when your voice is as soft and quiet as mine.

Answer 4

Same problem. Give her a reward everytime she speaks (not yells)  like candy, or maybe something pretty she likes. She'll learn not to yell loud. So if she yells, tell her in a nice tone "Ciana, please be quieter" if she does, give her a nice reward, and tell her she will get something, like her favorite candy. Also while your ina store, or at her school, let her acknowledge all the other kids tone of voice, like telling her that person isn't as loud, and that people like it. The reward thing should work and she'll  catch on. Hope i helped! xoxoxo

Answer 5

Tell her that unless she can turn her volume down you will no longer listen to her.  Then follow through.  When she starts speaking loudly walk away or simply ignore her.  She is old enough to know what is appropriate and not.

Answer 6

maybe she has adhd or she just has a loud voice but this kind of thing is typcail of adhd

Answer 7

You just keep telling them to calm down and talk normal.  I babysat kids who did this.  I would have them sometimes sit down, take a deep breath, and then talk.

Answer 8

Get her hearing tested. If she can't hear herself properly then she thinks you can't hear her either.

Answer 9

My 5 year old son is the same way!  He thinks that if he doesn't  yell then no one will hear him and it makes me crazy!!!

The only thing I know to do is to continuously remind him to use his quiet or inside voice.  He'll lower it for a bit and then it's right back up...and it's reminding time all over again!  He doesn't do this at school though so I know he understands the difference!

Wish I could help more....

Answer 10

yes i talk quietly to her in almost a whisper and say (ur bein very loud shhh) sometimes a wisper is contagious

Answer 11

she is a girl, little girls are always loud, just make sure you point it out to her, but be careful  you don't want to give her a complex

Answer 12

I have a child like this too. I think it runs in my husband's family because he can be the same way & so is his mom.

The first thing I'd do is make sure her ears are ok. People talk louder when they have a hearing problem.

My daughter is 8 like yours and she is always talking way to loud. I get sick and tried of saying "Kaylee, look at me. Where I am at?" She'll point to me and tell me I am right where she is. Then I'll ask her why she is yelling. She'll reply she isn't or at times she'll shrug.

Her hearing is just fine. Is just a matter of having to remind her all the time not to talk so loud, but honestly after almost 8yrs of this I don't thik we will have much luck. lol

My mother in law talks so loud at times we have to turn the volume of the phone down just to talk to her. If you hold the phone away from your ear the person across the room can hear her.

I've tried tons of things. People have suggested whispering to her to make her lower her voice. Doesn't work. I've tried making her leave the room and come back to asks me in an "inside voice". Doesn't work. I've tried not yelling just in case I am setting a bad example by yelling . . . don't work.

I just keep reminding her about it. If we go out some where like the movies we remind her a few times to be quiet and even during it we'll have to "Shhhshhh" her a few times.

Must be in the genes. lol Now that I think about my mom's side of the family are very loud talkers too. My uncle is very loud and so is my sister. Mix this with my mother in law you get a loud child. I am lucky to have two quiet ones. lol

Answer 13

Have you had her hearing tested?  She may not realize she is yelling.

Answer 14

Kids dont always have volume control lol just teach them inside and outside voice. Im sure they get told the same at school lol

Answer 15

Refuse to respond to her until she brings it down a bit.  You have to tell her that's what you are doing though.  Say, "I'll be ready to listen to you when you stop yelling."  That's what I do with my daughter, except with her, it's when she whines, I tell her I don't understand "Whinese" but when she can speak like a mature 8 year old I'll be happy to listen to her.