Elephant Football – A sport that should not be missed
Yes, Elephant Football is basically football played by elephants. Elephants use their feet to kick the ball and allegedly score goals in a socket sort of a thing which seems something like a house for most elephants. Elephants that are able to distinguish
between a “goal” and their “house” are recruited in Elephant Football and they mostly succeed in scoring the most goals in EPL (Elephant’s Premier League).
We have degraded elephants for long enough now and it is time that we give them the platform and media coverage that they truly deserve. This is the only reason why we human beings have been unable to succeed and advance technologically. Now that Elephants
are playing football, and evolution will take place and we all will learn different moves from Elephants. Elephant Football is played mostly in some parts of Africa and yes, there are elephants by the name of Ronaldo, Zidane, Pele, Maradona and many more.
Football (soccer for Americans) is on the brink of revolution. According to some rumours (by me), EPL will have many teams but the top teams are expected to be “Elphenal”, “Anchester’s Herd United”, “In the pool” and “Felsee”. These teams will comprise of
the top most elephants of the world and it seems that “Felsee” is expected to hit the charts in the first season of EPL that might take place in 2013 (if we all survive).
The managers are also elephants but they are the elephants that can communicate with the owner of the team (who is expected to be human) and the team as well. Most of the top elephant coaches prefer food as the ultimate tool for training an elephant (this
is not a joke). Elephants follow the essence of food and as a result, they play football without even knowing that they are playing. The elephants are tricked into scoring goals in most parts of the world (this is extremely serious) and in the future, it is
expected that we might even see elephants perform the “rainbow kick”.
Training defenders is not a problem as the larger elephants are left to stand in the way of the attacking elephants. Goal keepers are just enormous elephants and the trainers attach food to the goal posts while a team is attacking (the food may vary from
side to side according to the direction the attacking team is moving in).
Besides the teams, stadiums will be built in jungles and it is expected that most of the land that is left on our precious earth will be wasted, or should we say “used” for Elephant Football stadiums.
Teletubbies are expected to be the cheerleaders for this sport. On a serious note though, what has our world come to? Seriously? Elephant Football? I guess the next big thing is going to be either “Ant Rugby” or “Panda Volleyball”. That would be quite a
sight now won’t it?
(The quotations and comments above are the writers creation and solely for the purpose of adding hilarity to the article)
Tags: