Eleven year old son doesn't want to go out?

Question

We live in an area which is crowded of appartements with a forest near by. My son goes to a school in another area and he lives rather far from his friends. At school he plays around like all the others. Rather often he goes to them in his spare time. But the problem is that he doesn't want to go out where we live. He has some bad experience of some youths who live here and he think he will be threaten bad if he goes out. For different reasons he can't take home friends . It's such a mess... What shall I do to help him?

Answer 1

move!

ASAP or ask him what is the problem!

Answer 2

he just doesn't want to go outside cause he is worried he might get beat up or threatened again. don't force him to go outside. try having one of his school friends over to your house after school or on a weekend

Answer 3

You really need to move to another neighborhood where your son isn't afraid to go outside of his own home that is terrible and will have a negative effect on him later.

In the meantime look into neighborhood programs for kids at your local YMCA or call your local newspaper or church and see what activities they can suggest for him.

Answer 4

His fear of going out and being beaten up is real and shouldn't be ignored.  You don't want to teach him to fight physically but he does need to learn how to stand up to bullies and call their bluff.  Remember bullies are insecure people who get off on threatening others.  When someone secure in themselves stands up to them, they often back down.  Do not, however, put him to the test by letting him out there alone.

If I were you, I'd move to a better neighborhood or figure out a way to change your home so his friends can come over.

Answer 5

How about sign him up for a sport/local YMCA after school?  If his friends do it too, then he will have a great time!

Answer 6

Move to the area where his friends live. It sounds as if you live in a crappy area.

Answer 7

I would seriously consider looking into another housing option.  But until then you really need to get your son involved in some activities outside this housing complex....

Now is the time to start checking into summer baseball, and JFL football for the summer.  Check in the Local YMCA or a summer camp ( all of these have an option of scholorships- just ask).  Look I am not trying to be judgemental here but you have to go over and beyond to make sure all of those options above are being checked into.....hey be proud of your son that he doesn't want to be a part of that group at your complex....You've done something right there!!!!

You do not want your son staying in the apartment all summer, It will not make for a healthy enviornment for him or you....Boys still need to be boys.

Good Luck

PS- I have to ask ...what is the revelence of the forest?

Update: Yes i did...lol   I just wondered because you mentioned it....hey get him involved in some sports.....it will make you uber busy though...LOL

Answer 8

I know from personal experience that not being able to have friends over can sometimes translate into not wanting to be social and/or not taking the effort to do so. I think it could be a psychological thing, you simply get comfortable and complacent because you don't have people around you all the time.

If you can, adjust the policy on having friends at home once in awile.  Good luck.

Answer 9

Tell him to ignore who cares if he gets beat up. =)

Answer 10

maybe he could invite some friends to his house and have fun, then he will see that he needs fun and make friends