Elope.....then what????

Question

So my boyfriend, of 15 years, and I are eloping in Fiji in two months. We have told maybe 5 people but none of our family or friends. We really wanted to avoid the hoopla that goes along with getting married...the space, catering the reception, deciding who to ask to be the bridesmaids/groomsmen, the flowers, the photographer, deciding who to invite... it all seemed TOO MUCH. My question is how we tell everyone when we get back?

Answer 1

Congrats =] Sounds wonderful. Send your nearest and dearest invites to a reception in honor of your marriage (tell your immediate families before sending them out, as it would be tacky to let them find out otherwise).

Answer 2

Plan a return from Fiji party for your friends and family only.  Have your pictures arranged around the room for everyone to see.  Be prepared for some disappointed people, especially family.  They will feel left out of your special day.  Assure them that you didn't mean to not include them but that to you your plans were very romantic and special to you.

Answer 3

You are a very lucky woman.  It sounds like it will be a beautiful wedding . Just the two of you in Fiji.

In all honesty the only people I would be concerned with telling are both of your parents.  

You might think about having a nice family dinner or a small reception when you get back to let everyone else know.

My daughter and her husband went to Mass. and got married on the beach.  (2nd marriage for both).   No one was invited and no one was hurt.

I even gave her a wedding shower before she left.  And had a small reception when she got home.

I would have been hurt if she just went off and got married but I would have understood and not been angry.

The decision is yours and your fiance's .  But tell mom and dad and take lots of pictures so you can share them with everyone.  Maybe a video of the wedding if its not to expensive.  

Best of luck.  May you have years of happiness and all the love your heart can hold.

Answer 4

You should tell your family. Telling does not equal inviting them to the wedding - you can let people know you're getting married without inviting them. If you feel you're old enough to take on the responsibility of marriage, you should be old enough to defend your decision to get married in any way you want. Don't be a coward about it.

Answer 5

My Husband and I eloped 21 years ago.  We had a medium wedding planned and  things just so out of hand that the month before the actual date  we told everyone we broke up and then planned to elope.  It was the best  just what we wanted I  bought the dress I liked and we did it our way.  I say do it and when You come back either host a party, and invite who you want to tell then during the party make a toast and let everyone know at that time.  I don't know your age but I was 24 at the time.  Good Luck!!!

Answer 6

After you get back, you send what's called a wedding announcement. It can be as formal or as casual as you wish. It's sort of like a wedding invitation, but instead of asking people to come to your wedding, you tell them when and where you got married. This is also a great vehicle for telling people if you are having a party or something once you get home. If you ask at any stationary store or printing place, they will be able to show you some examples.

Answer 7

Please tell your parents before you go because they will be heartbroken not to have known!! Even if they are not invited, they should know what is going on before it happens. Imagine if you had kids and they didnt let you share in their big day, youd be gutted!!

Just let them know that you are holidaying and getting hitched at the same time. They would have been invited but you wanted it to be totally intimate for you pair. Good luck!

Answer 8

Just send out a wedding announcement, maybe along with a fun snapshot of the two of you tying the knot in Fiji.  The announcement can say something like:  "We finally took the plunge!  _________ and __________ happily announce their marriage on (date) on the beautiful beaches of Fiji."  This will notify all your friends and family, without obligating them to give gifts or throw any parties in your honor unless they want to.

A word of caution, though- as a fellow "anti-bride," I can totally understand wanting to avoid all the fuss, but be prepared for some hurt feelings, especially among your closest friends and relatives, when they find out you got married without them there.

Answer 9

send a pic of the two of you with a note telling everyone.or a postcard (you can make the pic one and write on the back)

Answer 10

You are a smart girl!! I want to elope too because there are a lot of family members that I do NOT want to invite at all but my fiance and I decided that wasn't fair to those we wanted there and they can't afford to leave *sigh*

I think that afterwards, you can either do word of mouth or you can send out a card with a picture of the two of you.  I prefer the word of mouth idea because the card *may* be interpreted as seeking gifts.

Answer 11

I say, have someone take a beautiful picture of you two in Fiji and send out announcements when you get back.

Answer 12

I would host a dinner at your house, invite everyone and tell them all that you have a special announcement, so they have to be there. It will kind of make it fun and suspenseful. Just be prepared that some family members might be upset and disappointed when you tell them. The ones you're close to probably would have wanted to be there and take part in it.

I think what you're doing is incredibly romantic. I admire  you for it. I could never ... my mom and family would kill me!

I would also consider having a small party/reception at a restaurant a few weeks after you get back with close friends and family. That way, some people can feel like they were part of it. You could set-up a slideshow of the pictures from your wedding, make some toasts, etc. That will probably appease a lot of disappointed family members.

Answer 13

I would definitly tell you parents! They might understand that you want to do the whole wedding package with the honeymoon. The two of you have been together for so many years they should understand. I would just plan a BBQ or something simple for when the two of you return. Just to celebrate the marriage for the two of you. It would still be nice to have some family get together to celebrate when the two of you return. Even if it is a month after you return. You can take pics of the party with digital camera and still have that @ least.

Congrats!! Have a wonderful wedding and a great trip to Fiji!

Answer 14

Call them all.

Answer 15

My aunt and uncle gave everyone wedding photos for Christmas. As people opened their gifts (all at once obviously) she slipped on her ring.

Be warned - if you want to use this trick bear in mind that he always has been a bit of a black sheep.

Answer 16

Leave a note that you are in Fiji and that you will let them know when you expect to be back...barring job offers on the island.

Answer 17

You have to tell close family/friends otherwise this could create a TON of friction between you and your friends/family. I would do an party like reception when you get home with family/friends. Have it be really casual. My friend went to Hawaii and when they got home they had an hawian themed reception. Good luck!