Emotional aspect of owning an 'elderly' dog?

Question

My yellow labrador Dom (short for Dominic) is 14 years old. I've had him since he was a pup and he's a much loved member of the family. He developed arthritis at approximately 11 years old, and vet treatment for this combined with 4 slow 10-minute walks a day (as opposed to the 2 or 3 hour-long walks a day he had when he was younger) and an altered diet suitable for his age and activity level have helped considerably - he's not considered overweight by the vet which I'm told is a common pitfall as labs love their food! I remember the days when we used to go to the woods nearby for hours and he had boundless energy, and it breaks my heart to see him so slow with his legs stiff. If he was in pain with considerably reduced quality of life I'd think about having him put to sleep, but at the moment I have no intention of doing that as I'm told by the vet that he is in little pain which is effectively manageable with medication anyway, he wags his tail for the smallest reason and generally sticks his nose near any plate with food on it - showing that there's life in the old dog yet! Of course I do realise he's doing well as 14 is over the life expectancy of labs (which is approx 12 to 13) and he is tall for the breed - about 64cm at the withers, I believe the breed standard is 56-57cm for dogs. I know how to care for him physically, but the question I have to all you owners of older dogs out there - how do you deal with it emotionally? I just need to be prepared for when the time comes really, it's heartbreaking to think of but I'm realistic enough to know it could be soon. Sorry it was a long question, many thanks for reading!

Answer 1

I kept asking the vets what the signs were for when to let go.  I would ask on a good day when I got to take my dog home, but I wanted to know what signs I needed to look for.  I wanted to help them and hold on as long as I could, but I also didn't want the dog to suffer because I was still trying to hold on.  My vets were great about being straight up honest with us about how much time we had left, and what treatment options we had.  They were also blunt about what meds were our last hope, so when they quit working, we knew there was nothing left to do.  I think the memories of my dogs last years were of him suffering, and that is tough now.  

Answer 2

How do you deal with it emotionally?  Boy, that's a tough one.  And I don't think there's a good answer for it.  You just have to handle it when it comes as best you can, knowing that you've given your dog a great life and you've been each other's companions for a good many years.  You focus on the joy of those years rather than on that one sad day you have to make the decision that it's time to let him go.

I've had to deal with it many times before and it never gets easier.  I've got an aging greyhound now as well as a middle-aged greyhound who's epileptic as well as having failing kidneys.  I just have fun with them every day - we go for walks every day except on really cold winter days, they have games they play and now that I have a puppy, he's given them a new lease on life.

You always try to remember all the happy times, don't dwell on the sad.  Your Dom sounds like he's had a great life and that's what you're going to remember.

Answer 3

With any situation like this the only way to be ready for something like this is to prepare yourself mentally. Anytime we lose a beloved pet is hard but we have to think more about the wonderful time we have spent with our dog and be happy for that. I wish you the best. Also, if you are looking for something to help with your dog's arthritis there is some natural supplements you can give to him. You can look up ArthiSoothe, it comes in liquid form so you just put some over their food. It works well to help lubricate the joints. Just something you might want to look into.

Answer 4

hon, you have given your dog a wonderful life, concentrate on that and enjoy what little time you have left.

grieving is hard but you will get to it alright. I lost my Chaz, it broke my heart, but I am so glad he didn't suffer. My lady dog wasn't so lucky, she had to be put down and i couldn't do it, had to get my son to do it. Its an awful ordeal, i so feel for you.

Answer 5

I can't tell you how to deal with this really - we all cope with the inevitability that comes with giving your heart to a dog, knowing he won't be there for as long as you will, in a different, individual way.

Quality of life is my yardstick, and you WILL know when the time comes.  He will tell you, in his eyes, that he's had enough.  It's totally heartbreaking and you will feel like kicking the walls that there's literally nothing you can do to stop the passage of time.  You have had a long, long time with your old boy and you have to be thankful of that.  Give him his remaining time, and then allow him to go with the dignity this elderly gent deserves.  

Weep for him, and then remember the good times.  And remember, he will thank you for helping him and he will be waiting for you at the Bridge.

Answer 6

Rewrite of your question: Is it kinder to put my beloved dog to sleep, or to drag out its existence because I can't bear to lose him.

Answer: All living things die. I hope you have the interests of the poor old fellow at heart, and that you learn to live with his loss.

Answer 7

I love the old age stages with my dogs just like the other stages of their life but I try to put the very end stage out of my mind it comes all too soon anyway with dogs which is why I treasure every moment with my dogs, my old labrador mix lived to be 17 years old and It had got to the stage where I thought he would just go on and on, when the day came to let him go I knew and was ready for it however the pain from that day is still with me now years later, I still cry when I hear about a dog being PTS because I remember that day when my old boy went to rainbow bridge.  I would just enjoy every day you have with your dog, do things that make him happy, do not focus on what he can no longer do and just enjoy what he does do, my elderly dog makes me smile everyday, I simply do not want to waste one moment with her by thinking about the day all dog owners dread.  

Answer 8

As I told my  neighbor who said, bet you can't think of a positive about Yuri, when their cat died.

I'm a total optimist, sometimes getting me into trouble. But I thought it was a very easy question to answer.

Think of all the pleasure and fun you had and the great home and love he got. How lucky he was, some dogs never find a home.

Now is a good time to go to your local Shelter and pick out a dog that he can train before he goes. He will be so proud to do that for you.

He can teach house manners and all the things he's learned in the past 14 years.  

Please don't pick a puppy it would be to energetic for Dom and too young for him to train  A female adult would probably work out better.

Answer 9

It seems at the moment your dog is going along fine. However, when you realise he is not going along fine and needs to be taken to the Vet for his final journey you will instinctively know.

It will not be easy to let go. I think you should say to yourself that he had a magnificent life with you, what more could a dog want or need. Also because of that life he is living to a ripe old age.

I stayed with my Jack Russell, she had a brain tumour in the end at 17 years of age. She was suffering and when she had the injection the pain just left her body and she was at peace.

It is the most wonderful thing to honour them right until the end by staying with them in their real hour of need. They do not suffer in any way at the end.

God bless Dom and God bless you for being a wonderful owner.

x x x

Answer 10

It's better not to think about the time when he will not be with you, it will just spoil the time you have left.

Just make the most of whatever time you do have together, he has had a long happy life, just make the rest of it as happy as you can.

No one can prepare themselves for the end, it affects different people in different ways.

When the time does come, and he is in too much pain, you need to be brave enough to do the right thing for him, and let him go peacefully and not suffer longer than is necessary.

You've been there for all these years, and you need to be there with him at the very end to say goodbye, but until that time comes you need to enjoy what time you do have left together.

Answer 11

Alright the last answer was stupid as you clearly said that the doctor said he is in minimal pain!  

My grandparents had a dog that I grew up with and was very much part of my life until we had to put it to sleep at age 17.  It was very sad and not one of my parents, extended family or me had a dry eye for many a week afterwards but it's easier with time and time only.  I know a lot of people will have felt the pain of a death of a  loved animal and it is heart wrenching but all we can do is cope as best we can.  Good luck and enjoy every moment you have left with him!

Answer 12

about 4 yrs ago we inherited my father in laws dog. he was 10 at the time.

over a yr ago, in march 2008, we were given 6 mths because of his cancer.

i put him down this morning. i've been putting it off, but just couldn't stand to watch him drag his back legs anymore. and the cancer has been spreading fast.

i stayed with him, held him. he finally looked at peace.

i've been crying all morning. my phones unplugged. i came on here to have something else to think about.