Ended Engagement and feels like i am drowning... no Wedding?

Question

Help me please... My ex-fiance failed to live up to her promise that she would fight for our love and defy her mothers baseless campaign to stop our wedding and break us up.

I proposed in March to marry in October then moved to March next year and now she wants to move the date again. She claims there is so much going on to her family so she would like to postpone, AGAIN. Will there ver be a time when family has nothing else going on?

She expresses how passionate she is about us and i believe her, but i am tire of empty words. How can this lady get help to get what she wants and not mind what everybody says. Especially if all they say are lies? Please help... I tried :-?

Answer 1

Well I think you need to sit down and talk to her right away and tell her how you feel.  I would try to "make things right" with her mom if it's possible.  If she is this much of a problem now, it will only be worse after you are married.  If you can't win over her mom, then you are going to have to lay the law down with your ex-fiance.  Tell her you love her and want to be with her, but she is going to have to stand up to her mother if your relationship is going to work.  She has probably never stood up to her mother and scared of the consequences.  I think this needs to be settled before getting married or you will be setting yourself up for disaster.

My ex mother in law was a complete nightmare, so we decided to have a destination wedding.  She won't fly, so we knew she wouldn't be there to ruin our day.  Our wedding day was fine, but she made our lives miserable with all her interfering.  As a result, we got a divorce and the main reason was because of his mother.  Luckily my soon to be hubby's family is great and doesn't try to stir problems up.

Good luck to you....remember things always work out for the best.

Answer 2

If you are having this much trouble with her and her family, what makes you think after the wedding it would get easier? This is a prelude to what you are getting yourself into and you are already drowning.  Do you really want a life like that?

Answer 3

Hang in there..you sound stressed. Okay-so, you want to marry now-her later. You need to meet eachother in the middle. If she continues to push the date out...it is disrespectful to you. Okay? I am not saying she doesn't love you, but she needs to respect you enough to say no wedding or wedding and agree on a date. Stand strong on this one..she will respect you for it. Just be tactful about your delivery.

Answer 4

Do you honestly want to marry someone who at this point in time does not put you first?  I don't mean to say you should never marry each other, but it doesn't sound to me as though your fiance is ready to commit her life to you, making you first over her family.

Sounds like she needs time to mature a little, or at least to understand the full meaning of marriage.

I'm sorry this is probably not what you wanted to hear, but I think it's better that you found this out now rather than after you are married.

I think the only thing you can do now is have a conversation with her.  Be open and honest.  Perhaps when she hears how this makes you feel, she will realize what she's doing is wrong.

Good luck.

Answer 5

This is who she is you are not going to change her....she is not going to change...Live with it or move on.

With a wedding planned for so soon and she is still clinging to her family and not worried about the relationship between the two of you...she is not ready for marriage.. to you.  

It seems she wants out of the relationship but doesn't want to hurt your feelings.  If she is no longer your fiance you should start looking for another girl and start dating.

You say everyone is telling lies... that's weird. EVERYONE? Something more is going on here!

Answer 6

Move on! Aint gonna get any better, bro!

Answer 7

this is DEF the preview for the rest of the show.  unfortunately, family issues never go away.

she is obviously torn and doesn't know what to do.  i would break it off and let her get her head together and see what comes of the two of you.

if her mother is really that upset about her marrying you...maybe you can talk to her and figure out where the issues are.  is it you?  or can she just not let her daughter go?

if you really feel there is NO reason for her to have any adomosity (sp) torwards you...then call her up....take her to lunch and talk it out...

good luck!

all the best :)

Answer 8

Doarling, my heart goes out to you. Just get married. If thats what really matters, then getting that bit of paper is done inn an afternoon. Once its done you can have the big party wheever you like.

Tell her you will be at the registry office/church etc at such and such a date at such and such a time and that she should meet you there, or its finished.

Answer 9

Sorry, but moving a wedding once for family is one thing, two means you should realize that this is how married life will be. Do you want that?  I wouldn't.  She either has to take a stand now and decide that her family has to take a back seat to her marriage, or it's time to just end all the plans, end the engagement and move on.  

Heck, my family has plenty of ups and downs as well - an uncle with cancer, my dad is now on oxygen, my other uncle and two of my mom's cousins died just last Christmas.  My siblings are always in turmoil, which is another reason why I have no attendants.  Everybody has goings on.

Answer 10

if you love her and you feel she loves you stick with her, give her the time she needs... maybe things will smooth over with her family. That will make your marraige so much easier.