Ended relationship is effecting 5 yr old? What do I do?

Question

So me and my b/f recently broke up I caught him trying to cheat on me. Now the problem is last night I was crying about it cause I was upset and my son walked in (he's 5) and said "Why you crying" I said I'm just sad right now go watch TV and then he asked when my now ex would come over and I told him he probably wouldn't be coming over anymore so then he started to cry saying he misses him. I told him well he doesn't wanna be with mommy anymore (not my smartest moment but it came out). So he kept saying Are you going to get a new boyfriend and him a new girlfriend I don't want you too. So I asked the ex what to do and he said Just tell him I miss him and that the hulk doesn't cry which only made it worse. So now what do I do if he brings it up again. I know I have to do what is right for me but I feel so bad. What's the best way to handle this situation?

Answer 1

How long were you with your b/f?  I would think about how your son is feeling now, and may be it's best that you stay single for a long while, and start concentrating on being a mom and bonding with your son, and doing quality time with him. Go to Zoo's, Parks, Amusement Parks, stay focused on you and your son for a while.

Explain to him that sometimes ppl don't stay together, but it doesn't mean that they don't love him or that it's his fault. Make sure your son knows that your b/f leaving has nothing to do with him and it is not his fault. He might think that. So it is important that your son knows he is still loved no matter what.

Do not get another b/f right away. This could be damaging to your son and confusing. (not to assume you will, but just some helpful advice).

When looking for a relationship, especially if you have children, they, the children, come first. Their feelings, are very sensitive to having two parents, a mom and dad figure. Especially since you have a son, it's most important that he has a male role model. But, you can't keep bringing boyfriends in that cannot make the committment. It's too heartbreaking for the children. Stability in a family is so important and is so lacking in most families because of the in and out relationships between ppl.

Try to toughen up for your son's sake. You can do this by yourself for a while. From now on, it's just you and your son. Structure and stability is on the line here. Get it back with just focusing on you two right now. He will benefit more from your strength in this, and it will help him so much as he gets older with a strong foundation. Get yourself involved in sports with him, school, church (if you go), because that will help keep your mind off of what your b/f has done.

Chin up girl. Everything will be alright. :-)

Answer 2

you asked your ex wut to do?????? god, u just almost caught him cheating and you still called him up to ask what to do?????? stop talking to him, hes a scum bag. and it really pisses me off when girls wanna stay in a bad relationship for the kids sake... being in a miserable relationship will make you miserable and in return will make your kid miserable. tell your kid that your boyfriend was trying to get with some other girl and tell ur kid if he ever sees ur ex to kick him in the balls.

Answer 3

All i can do is to talk to your ex and maybe that the both of you can stay friends and so your son can have a father figure around cause your some really needs some one to look up to. and sometimes things just happen the way they do and we tend hate the way it hap pends so what i am trying to say is that sometimes child rend that young doesn't need to know everything.  

Answer 4

Its a good thing that u were smart enough to dump your BF.  Now dont go back to him for the kids.  The boy will get over it and move on just like you will.

Answer 5

I agree with the 1st poster. Stop talking to him. Someone cheats on me, they lose the part they cheat with.

2nd. It would effect your child more, if you were to stay with him. Kids can sense trouble. He'll get over it. Just don't have boyfriend after boyfriend. I have a friend in a similar situation, and I don't know how many live in boyfriends she had, who her son also called daddy. I think her son will probably need therapy when he gets older. Not knowing his real father. That's all I can tell you. Put his needs ahead of yours.

If he brings it up again, just say he had to go, and he's not coming back. You'll have to be honest with him, or he'll keep after you. Kids aren't dumb. Don't play down to them.