Engaged and a surprise baby on the way?

Question

ive been engaged for almost a year now and was planning on getting married this coming spring, however now i have a baby on the way. we are now planning on getting married in court now and then having the dream wedding later, after the baby is born. should we wait and just have the dream wedding? or get married in court now and have the dream wedding later?

Answer 1

what's the difference?  you can get married in a courthouse and have a big party to celebrate.  it doesn't make any sense to me to get married legally, then do a huge wedding later.  you are already married.  have a party, and save the money for the baby.  you'll need it more than a huge wedding.  

that being said, if you are allowing complete strangers to tell you what to do....do what you want.  

Answer 2

Hi and congratulations on the upcoming wedding AND baby!  Lots to celebrate!

I am NOT a fan of do-over weddings, so my advice is....if you do want the "dream wedding" then just have that one.  Don't have two....because the first one (at the courthouse) IS the "real" wedding.  Another one would be for show and would be a renewal of vows.  Usually people wait for a renewal of vows for a milestone anniversary like 20, 25, 50, etc.

My advice is to have one wedding only....if that happens to be the courthouse...so be it.  You can still have a very nice wedding at a courthouse and a party after!  Nothing wrong with that.  I just went to one like that in June...very nice.

Answer 3

Once you're married, you're married. There are no do-overs. Weddings done in the court house are weddings since the result is that you;re married. So, either move this dream wedding up to before the baby is born, wait until after she's born, get married in church now and after the baby is born have the reception or just get married and forgo the dream wedding. Those are your options.

Answer 4

I think you should have the wedding you are planning now, but maybe move it up a bit. And cut any costs you can, because you do have a baby on the way.  I agree with the first posters that it does seem a bit much (especially with a baby on the way) to get married legally and then have another "dream wedding" later.

You will also probably be so busy when the baby comes you won't have the time or energy to plan another wedding.  I would have it now, and then you won't regret missing out on the wedding you really want, because after the baby it just might not happen.

Double Congrats!

Answer 5

Just post pone the whole wedding until after the baby is born, it's tacky to sign the papers then a year later have a wedding. Just stay engaged and wait!

Answer 6

You now have a new responsibility: your baby. You shouldn't waste money on an "extra wedding" when you have your little one to consider.

I would simply move up the date and have the wedding you already planned. Anymore is superfluous and selfish. No offense, but how unexpected can a baby be when you're having s*x? That's kinda the overlying theme of s*x, anyway.  

Answer 7

i agree with the first post...having a dream wedding later is just renewing yours vows...so just wait until you have the baby to get married

wish u the best*

Answer 8

I see three options:

1) You move the dream wedding up to now

2) You forget about the dream wedding and have a simple wedding now

3) You wait to get married until you can have your dream wedding

There is no such thing as having two weddings in my book. Its just pathetic. So take your pick of what you want your ONE WEDDING to be, and leave it at that.

Answer 9

Yes, trust your instincts. Get married in the court before the baby is born. It is in the best interest of your child. Do not let anyone talk you out of it. You can have a big showy wedding anytime thereafter.

Answer 10

Cool, Kaitlin, you're getting married on my birthday...Sorry, side tracked!

Coming from someone who was in a similar situation, wait. When your baby is older, do the big thing then. And make sure you're not breastfeeding (breastfeeding in a limo was NOT classy...lol). If you rush a small wedding now, i can pretty much guarantee you will not enjoy it as much as if you waited.

Congratulations-on both your baby and your wedding!

Answer 11

If you get married in court, that is your wedding. The day you get married is the day, there's no such thing as two weddings to the same person (unless there was a divorce in between). If you want a ceremony with family and friends, you could get married at court now and have a blessing or renewal of vows after the baby is born and it will be somewhat like a wedding:

You CAN wear a pretty dress, even a white one, but not a foufy bride-y one, and no veil for sure.

You CAN each have a friend stand up with you at your blessing, but a row of matchy-matchy bridesmaids would be in the poorest of taste.

You CAN have a grand entrance/processional to the ceremony, but if you do that, you and your husband should walk in together. There's no reason to walk in with your dad. You're not a bride, and no one is giving you away.

You CAN have the biggest party your budget and imagination can imagine, but you do need to think of your responsibilities with the baby and whether throwing yourselves a completely self-indulgent party is in his or her best interest. That money could go to pay for his education or other needs after all and you need to take responsibility for that.

If you do invite family and friends to a tasteful celebration, you can have a beautiful cake as long as there is no bride and groom on it, and a wonderful party as long as there is no daddy/daughter dance, "first" dance as husband and wife, garter toss, bouquet toss, or shoving cake into one another's faces (though that last one is just my opinion that it is really awful, lol).

Obviously since you are not a bride and neither of you is bachelor, there would be no shower, bachelorette, bachelor party, etc. You can have most any pre-ceremony gathering of family and close friends you want -- luncheon, dinner, beer and pizza, but it's not bridal and in no way should it be a gift grab.

Registering would also be a no-no. You might be registering for the baby in a few months and that has to take precedence.

Answer 12

Just get married asap, and have that be your wedding. Your circumstances have changed, so has your dream.

Congrats on both!