Engaged with 2yr old and falling for coworker. Help!!?

Question

Fiance and I met and a month later were pregnant with no firm relationship established. We are adults and took the responsibility, bought a house and so on... Once baby was born I stayed at home for year and a half worked evenings. We really didnt see much of each other and again didnt establish a relationship with each other as number one priority, the baby has always been. Now back to work and baby is more independant there is more time for other things. We are mutually not happy, we never argue though. We dont go on dates and he doesnt call during the day to ask how my day is. We tried a date and both practically stared at the wall becouse we were not used to being alone together. We rarely hug and kiss and when we do I am the one who attempts. He is used to me being the primary home keeper since the first half of our relationship has been a stay at home mom. Now back to work it is still expected. We havent had bed love in two months, cant snuggle, never comment on how nice you look.... in other words all the mushy things in a relationship is not in ours. We are in love with each other but lack other things. Through dealing with all this I have a interest in a coworker that from what I can tell is the most independent, self sufficient, personable and very in touch with self and others type of "dream guy". Its unreal... and a big problem, I love my fiance and child. HELP!!!!

Answer 1

keep away from that coworker ,he will destroy your life,your letter says ,you love your fiance and child ,take care of them and be happy.

                   stay far away from trouble,find peace and keep it.

                              good luck and god bless.

Answer 2

You don't need help, you need to open your eyes. Everyone notices the best in other people when they're going through a rough patch. What they don't realize is that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Take more interest in your relationship with your fiance. If you love him like you say you do, put the effort in. He may not know or be aware of your feelings about your relationship with him. If you make the first move, talk, go out together, do more couple things, things will get better and I'm sure as quickly as you thought this co-worker was so great, you'll forget about him in a minute as soon as things get better at home. Love isn't about giving up when the going gets rough, it's about doing everything you can to make things better...the both of you.  

Answer 3

Perhaps you and your fiance should sit down and have a talk - discuss your relationship - things you like, things you would like to improve with no accusations.  It seems like the two of you don't communicate at all (from what I'm reading).  Suggest to him that the two of you make an effort to become friends, you need that base...romance can come later.  

As for the co worker, are you really falling for him or are you merely infatuated because the grass seems greener?

Finally, sometimes things just aren't meant to be.  Two happy seperate parents are better than two miserable married parents.

I wish you all the best.

Answer 4

Ok first, after two years you need to think about why you haven't set a date and got married.   And money is not a reason!!! You can love the person, and not be in love with them.  You know you could work something out that you all are together for the child but together as friends.  Or you just need to move on.  But heres the thing you need to decide this for YOU and not the make believe relationship with the dream guy. Half the time you think a relationship is going to be much better then what it is b/c you don't really have to deal with that person, you just get to image it.  Good luck

Answer 5

Seriously, don't you have enough going on.  Don't you think that the reason you got pregnant is cuz you didn't think things through? STOP.  Think about your life and what is BEST for your child.  Co-workers come and go......if you REALLY love your fiance, you wouldn't be writing the note.  Stop thinking of yourself and think of your family - he's still in the picture so he can't be THAT bad...

Answer 6

You said you love your fiance..but you did not say you are IN LOVE with your fiance. You need to think of your future and your sons. You need to think of your fiance's future and his son. You guys need to talk. Period. Let him know how you feel and your not for sure if your love is enough to sustain this relationship. OR start cheating on him with this co worker. I know its hard with these circumstances, but someone is going to either have to have the guts to fix this relationship or say good bye....

Answer 7

You have a family. There little love phases with co-workers and other man will come and go, but if you do ever decide to leave your husband for this or any guy, your relationship will probably end up in the same situation. The problem might be you here. I'm not saying it is, but you need to make the relationship with your hubby bloom and work. Think of ways to make him feel special every now and then, Get him used to getting compliments and once he's used to it, he will return the favor. Show him that you care and are trying to make an effort. Don't expect nothing in return at first though, but be really nice, and s**y for him, do some spontaneous things, go buy a joke book and go on a picnic date and read and laugh with him. Just try to make it work if not for yourself, but for your kid. If you try everything your hardest, and still no change, then try something else, but for now, try to build up that spark. Good Luck

Answer 8

The relationship you describe with your fiance does not sound like a true love relationship.  How can you say you are "in love" with each other but not be comfortable around each other or ever even occasionally share affection?  You are in an unhealthy relationship and you need to figure it out before you confuse the issue further by bringing a total stranger into things.  That is too much drama and you have a child to think about.  If you aren't happy (your own words), then you should leave.  Arrange joint custody for the child and start over with your life.  You have too much baggage right now to consider a relationship with anyone, start with you first.

Answer 9

dont jump the gun. if you want to move on then finish what you started. either leave the hubby or stay?! but dont make your life more complicated.

Answer 10

You say you love your fiance, if you do then why do you want to 'mess' around? For hot passionate s*x?

If you have any respect for yourself and or your fiance, don't go s******g around, behind his back.

Try going to couples counciling or buy some bed room toys and movies.

Answer 11

You are not married so you can do anything you want. I would say go for it but do not expect it to last..

Answer 12

this is why you ALWAYS wear a condom. and preferrably start taking the pill.

Answer 13

why don't you get some premarital counseling and grow up a little.

Answer 14

Don't. Don't go for the other guy, work on what you already have. You said you haven't had s*x in two months, make it happen. One of you have to initiate s*x so it might as well be you and I promise it won't too long until you both are doing other things with each other. It may seem like you don't have much but you have a lot more than you can see, so please don't throw it away. Stay true to each other and make it work. You owe it to yourself, to your baby's dad, and to your baby. Don't let someone new that acts like they have the world on a string, come between what you're taking for granted, and ruin all of your lives. Plus get married to the man you love and you just said that you love him, so what is stopping you. Start working on saving your family now. Please don't throw it away.