Engagement party or no engagement party

Question

My stepson just got engaged. He mentioned something in passing about having an engagement party. I told him that proper etiquette states that the parents of the bride have the first option to host the engagement party. If they indicate they are not intending to host it, or if after a certain period of time it becomes obvious that they are not intending to host it, then the parents of the groom then have the option of hosting it without stepping on any toes.

My step daughter, who is 30 and currently split from her husband immediately piped up and said that we'd better NOT have an engagement party for them because no one held one for her or her other brother who got married last year.

I thought it was a pretty crappy thing to say, especially in front of her future sister in law. Do you think she is just bitter about her own marital problems or do you think she is that shallow that her brother shouldn't have an engagement party because she didn't get one?

Answer 1

I think she is being over-sensitive because of her situation, but if she was your step-daughter and her other brother was your step-son when she got married and there was no engagement party offered for either then it does seem a  bit of a double-standard to have it for this 3rd stepchild.  Also, alot of siblings have rivalry that will rear its ugly head if they perceive anything as being unfair because 1 got something and they didn't (i know, i have a sister).

And I think the first poster is incorrect about the length of engagements - - just look around on YA here, there are plenty of people having engagements more than a year.  My own engagement will be just under 2 years.

Answer 2

At 30 years old, yes, she's very immature and extremely shallow.  

Engagements go no longer than one year, so the sooner the couple want to announce their engagement through an engagement party, the better.  It should come from the brides side first, but if they are not willing, you can throw them an engagement party by all means.  That's if the couple really want one.  Some people don't care for one.