Engagement ring - women's opinion please?

Question

I am 22. I am also a somewhat cash-strapped college student. I have been dating my girlfriend for over 2 and a half years now. I love her more than life and I want to spend the rest of my days with her by my side. I have never been a full believer that I must put a ring on her finger to prove my love to her, but she wants an engagement and I want to give her what she deserves. The problem is, however, like I stated, I am somewhat cash strapped. I want to get her a beautiful ring. I can take out a loan and pay it off for a while, that's not a problem, but what I'm wondering is.... I found a few nice rings in the $2,000 range. They are all around the 1/3 carat size range. Is that too small of a ring? Is it insulting to give her one that size? Or am I crazy and spending too much? Please, any serious answers would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

I would be really mad if a guy spent $2,000 on a ring for me, especially if he was in college and strapped for cash! You can always get her something bigger later if you want, but right now you should just get her something that you can afford. It is about your love, not buying a ring.

It would really help to know what she likes as well. More and more women are opening their eyes to what a sham the diamond industry is. Diamonds were not even "the" engagement ring until very recently. People have just been taken for a ride by advertisement. I would be absolutely livid if my husband had bought a diamond for me. If you have any doubts about her feelings on this, you could always rent "Blood Diamond" and have a general discussion about them. :)

Anyway, make sure you know what she wants. If she does want a colored stone, which are very popular right now, you are especially in luck because they are much less expensive. If she does want a diamond, the setting and shape affect how big it looks. Plus, some women are okay with CZ or man-made diamonds. I personally chose a square-cut amethyst for my engagement ring.

$2,000 is a LOT of money. Have you considered how much the actual wedding and honeymoon might cost as well? Then, of course, there is always that pesky "trying to buy a house."

Good luck!

Answer 2

I've recently heard of the 'upgrade', where people buy what they can afford when they want to get engaged, then later when they're able buy another ring... maybe you can think about that option

Answer 3

Spend what you can afford. No ring is too small. It's what the ring symbolizes that is important.There are plenty of beautiful rings under $2,000. Don't go into debt to buy an engagement ring. My fiance and I were in college when we got engaged, and he couldn't afford a lot so he spent $250 on my 0.10 carat engagement ring.

Check out the site below, it is a half carat diamond for under a $1000.  

Answer 4

I understand her wanting a ring, every girl does, but you have to think about what you can afford.  If you are strapped for cash, let her know you want to be engaged, but that you want to wait to buy the ring because you want it to be perfect (and you don't have the cash right now).  You should be able to find plenty of nice rings in the $2000 dollar range.  1/2 carat is fine as well.  Most girls want something between a 1/2 and 1 carat.  My right is a 1/2 carat, but it also has many other smaller diamonds on the side along with four rubies.  I love my ring and I think 1/2 carat is perfect for the kind of ring for me.

I would go a little larger than 1/3 carat, but if you want to get it now and that's all you can afford, then that's all you can afford.  Even if you got a ring that had 1/3 carat in the middle, there are rings out there that have 1/3 carat for the primary stone and plenty of stones on the setting that make it jsut as beautiful even thought the main stone is on the smaller side.  Check out this ring.  The main stone is 1/3 carat, but the ring is still beautiful.  

http://www.kay.com/webapp/wcs/stores/ser...

Answer 5

i found a ring for 1200  i thought i would like, but i really liked one i found for 1800 that i hoped he would take the clue for. In the end he went out and blew the budget with 2500. which made me worry about bills for months, for a few moments of feeling like a princess.

the point being she knows what you can -and more importantly can't- afford. I love my ring, but not for the size, it's because he picked something that really shows his tastes

Answer 6

Don't take out a loan - it's stupid to go in debt at this time. You need not only money for the rings, but for you two to pay for the wedding, and to start the marriage with.

The amount you state is MORE than enough to buy a lovely wedding set, not only an engagement ring. And you can get 1/3 carat (which is a nice size anyway) for a lot less than 2k.

Some ideas -

http://www.kay.com/webapp/wcs/stores/ser...

http://www.kay.com/webapp/wcs/stores/ser...

http://www.kay.com/webapp/wcs/stores/ser...

http://www.zales.com/product/index.jsp?p...

http://www.ice.com/AST/Ice/Ice_Primary/P...

Sets -

http://www.zales.com/product/index.jsp?p...

http://www.ice.com/AST/Ice/Ice_Primary/P...

http://www.ice.com/AST/Ice/Ice_Primary/P...

Answer 7

I think if you get her a ring then your proving your love. The size isn't too small. I think it is expensive but like I said it's proving your love. I think you should buy her one of those rings that you picked out. Or even let her pick one or one of her close friends.

Answer 8

Opinions on this will vary as much as women's personalities.  Have you spoken to her about rings at all?  An engagement doesn't require a ring (at least, that's my take on it), and I know that when I proposed to my fiance, I didn't want a ring.  (He insisted on buying one anyway, and I love it now, but I really didn't want one to start with.)

Other women are completely different than me and have a "list" of "must-have" qualities for their engagement ring.  

If you are marrying this woman, then hopefully you know what her tastes are and can decide how she would feel about a small diamond, or an alternate stone, etc.  If you don't know...then it's time to start talking!

Answer 9

you probably should wait until you could afford a nice 1 carat.

while the thought is nice, its still ... i donno, if she has big thick hands its going to look like a speck. but if she has tiny hands and skinny fingers maybe 1/3 would look proportional.

three months salary buddy.

you are a cash strapped college student, get a real job and get her a 100-200 $ PROMISE ring for now, and get an engagement ring when you can afford something better.

Answer 10

My boyfriend and I have talked about this...

I wouldnt want him to spend any more than $2000 on a ring.

Really, I think $1500 is plenty! There are much more important things to spend your money on - like saving for a house, or for when you have children etc.

Dont worry so much about how much you're spending and concentrate on finding her the perfect ring - one she will adore - no matter what size the stone is!!  

Answer 11

Ok,

1.  Have you ever heard the pharse "quality over quanity"?  1/3 ct  thats got a say....E-F with a S1 or higher rating and a "good" or better cut might be better then getting her a 3/4 or 1ct I-J of 12-13 quality.

It's all about the the 4C's baby!

Now, I agree with size being a problem if she's got big fingers...but, there are ways to "enhance" the size of a smaller diamond....look into the shape...go for a maquise or oval or pear shape.....they elongate ...pay attention to the "faucts" in the diamond for maximum light thought it.  Also, quality in the prongs (6 would be nice). If you must cut down with 10kt gold for the price...

I honestly think 2,000 is way tooo much money.....

check www.zales.com wait til they bring it back to 30% off

www.kay.com has "preowned" marked down that are really nice

www.jtv.com where you can by semi mounts and loose stones...

customize her a nice solitaire colored diamond for way less then 2,000!!!!

hope this helps.

Answer 12

Any size ring will be perfect. Its not about how big the diamond is, its about your love for one another.

But... where are u shopping at? 2,000 is alot of money and u should be able to find a beautiful ring... also bigger than 1/3.

I have a 1/2 carat engagement ring... it was 600 dollars, and its the most beautiful ring in the world to me. She'll like it no matter what. Dont worry about that.

If thats your budget then i would try stores like Zales and Kay Jewelers. They usually have gorgeous rings with beautiful clear diamonds in them at a really good price.

Besides if i were u i would save as much as i could for the wedding. Weddings are so expensive now if u want to include all the bells and whistles.

Im getting married in a couple of weeks and paying for it isnt easy... of course unless the bride's parents are going to pay for it. Then things would be pretty easy.

Congrats n Good Luck!

Hope i helped.

Answer 13

to be honest with you. I have been engaged for 2 1/2 years and as long as you love her and she loves you in shouldn't matter how much or how big the ring is. My is a small but every nice diamond shape cut. Go with your gut. Only you know what kind of personality she has. I hope this helps

Answer 14

The ring is a symbol and you should not spend more than you can afford. Talk to your girlfriend about her expectations about a ring. I agree quality is better than quantity. I have a very nice ring that cost more than many, but my FI and I are also older, well educated, and make nice salaries.

Good luck.

Answer 15

in my opinion the woman should be happy with whatever you get her.

I for one don't want a ring that will drown me in a pool. get the one that you would want that is affordable for you.

Answer 16

you can find some gorgeous rings for that price :) my husband spent $6000.00 but I almost killed him when I found out! Girls don't know to much about clarity and carats ..they just want something gorgeous that is from the heart!! plus you can always make up for it on how you propose!! ;)

http://www.kay.com/webapp/wcs/stores/ser... i love the single solitare but check out this site!! you might find something perfect!!

Answer 17

It is perfectly fine. My wedding was something like that also, and I am satisfied with it.

Answer 18

First off, it's not a "prove your love" thing, it's a symbol of your commitment.  I'm sure you don't need to prove anything to her, so don't approach it as such.

I don't think you should go into debt, but you should get what you can afford.  $2000 seems like a lot for a cash strapped student.  My fiance and I are both students and my ring was $1500 CDN (21 small stones, total 1 carat) http://www.flickr.com/photos/kpasc/11110...

It sounds like you're only looking at diamond solitaires.  Is that what she wants?  Ask her friends to find out, take her shopping and then report back to you about style, or any specific one that she likes.

She's been dating you for 2.5 years, I'm sure she understands your financial situation and won't be insulted.  Just pick something beautiful that suits her.

Also, Bidz.com has a great selection of engagement rings, at bargain prices.  Everything I've ordered from there has been good quality.  Just read the stats carefully and make sure you understand the measurements.  (A 3 mm thick ring is more than you might expect, and is probably a good thickness.)  Also make sure you find out her ring size in advance.

I don't think $2000 is too much if that is what you can afford.  If you have to take out a loan for $1800 of that though, it's a bit much.  Most of my friends have engagement rings that must have been under $800...  just do what you can, and make sure she will like it, she is going to wear it for the rest of her life!

Good luck!

Answer 19

If you are strapped for cash you should not spend more than you can afford to pay.  Can't you wait till you graduate to get her a ring? If you just can't wait, then you're simply going to have to buy what you can afford. The size of the ring should not be what is important to her, it's the commitment that comes along with it. If you think she will care more about the ring than you or what you can afford then you shouldn't give her a ring at all.

Answer 20

to me, that would be spending way too much.  I actually told my fiance if he ever spent more than $500 on a ring I would take it back.  I didn't want him wasting his money on a piece of jewelry.  However, $2000 is not over the top by normal pricing standards.

I think that sounds lovely.  She'll love it no matter what.  But if you want to spend the same and find something bigger (or better clarity or colour) spend a few weeks searching through clearance shelves at jewelry stores.  They have GORGEOUS stuff in them and sometimes you can get almost 50% off.

Answer 21

My fiance' and I are of a similar situation, and even if we were wealthy, I would not want him to spend hundreds--let alone thousands--of dollars on a ring that won't give us shelter, education, feed us, keep us warm, or get us where where we need to be.

My mister proposed with a gorgeous tanzinite and crystal past, present, future necklace and later gave me a ring.

He chose the VERY ring I wanted, and didn't even know: a $210 1/5 Marquise-cut diamond solitaire in a 2mm white gold band.

Here's the picture:

http://flickr.com/photos/24604946@N08/24...

Simple and classy. Don't start your marriage off in debt over a piece of metal and a hunk of rock.

My fiance' and I are having custom rings made by an Etsy jeweler. Mine will be 10KY white gold with 14KY yellow gold accents, a custom design by my fiance' and me, and comes to $108 (S&H included). A local jeweler wanted $850 for the same design. His will be a 10KY white gold band with Celtic knots, and will be a similar price. Personal, unique, an didn't break the bank.

If your girl is half as amazing as you think she is, she will be happy with whatever you choose, and wouldn't want you to hurt yourself financially over a symbol.

Answer 22

You can get her a great engagement ring for much less than $2000. I would not advice going into debt for it, it's nobel, but she will probably feel guilty about that (I know I would).

Instead of over-spending (beyond what you can afford to pay cash) on a diamond ring that you won't be happy with because you think it's too small, get her a semi-precious gemstone ring.

There are BEAUTIFUL gemstone rings that have diamond accents and sparkle beautiful, and she would be so proud to show off. Believe me, if she loves you like you love her (you sound really in love) then she will just be so excited to be engaged to you that the ring won't be that important. And saving money by buying a gemstone ring instead of a diamond will be a smart decision for your future as a student and because you will have to start saving for that wedding too!

Here are some links to gemstone rings that are pretty affordable (you can get a beautiful one for around $500, definitely under $1000. I personally know that if my fiance had gotten me a gemstone ring I would have been just as please as the diamond and pink sapphire one I have now. I recommend sapphires because they are the hardest stone (other than a diamond) so they wear well and don't loose their sparkle. They also come in a lot of colours so you can find one that suites her personality.

http://www.overstock.com/Jewelry-Watches...

http://www.myjewelrysource.com/gemstone-...

http://www.bluenile.com/gemstone-rings?o...

Good Luck!

Answer 23

Does your girl even want a DIAMOND ring?

I didn't (I still got one, and I can't say I'm complaining, but I would have been perfectly fine with a semi-precious stone)

I strongly believe that aquamarines in white gold look remarkable:

http://www.google.com/products?hl=en&rlz...

Also, if she still wants the clear stone, and is willing to compromise, you can get a white sapphire, or a pale colored sapphire... Just go to the jewelry store, and ask to speak to the jeweler... But try to avoid big chain companies, at least until you know what you want to get...

Like I was, even thought I can't complain about the ring I got (It really is quite elegant) my dream ring is something like this:

http://img.alibaba.com/photo/11629888/18...

Answer 24

Personally, I don't think you should should spend that much on the engagement ring, maybe the actuall wedding ring but not the engagement ring.  You don't want to add another payment to your monthly bills if you don't have to, especially while you are still in school.  When my husband and I were shopping for rings, our jeweler told us than less than 10% of women get a full carat for their first ring.  Most start with 1/2 a carat or less and then trade up later.  However, if it is the size of the stone that you are looking at the most, go check out Zales website.  They have some really nice rings on clearance, and I think that they are actually offering 20% off of the clearance prices right now.  Good luck.