English Topic Sentence?

Question

The Once and Future King, by T.H White, is a splendid classic tale of a young hero's journey, from burdensome tests to rewarding prizes.

In the Once and Future King, by T.H White, a true king of England must be wise, compassionate, and attentive to the men, and woman of England.

Answer 1

First of all you have a lot of mistakes in both sentences.  The first one goes best together, but if you need three paragraphs extra the second is the way to go. You make that choice and I will edit your sentences.

The Once and Future King by T.H White is a splendid classic tale of a young hero's journey from burdensome tests to rewarding prizes.

In the Once and Future King by T.H White, a true king of England must be wise, compassionate and attentive to the men and women of England.

Though the second sentence does not have any IMPACT.

Answer 2

Do you have a question? So far, you've basically written two topic sentences. Are you asking which is a better sentence?

I like the second one, if that's what you're asking, but I think it needs to have something else that isn't just factual... something that answers the question: "So what?" So... based on the idea that a true king must be wise, compassionate and attentive, what are you trying to say about it? Are you saying it's a archetypal example of how all rulers should be? Basically, I'm wondering what argument you are making about the text, otherwise it's just a summary of the book and not at all interesting (unless that's what your assignment is).

Hope this helps. I'm not really sure what you're looking for, though.

EDIT: I've fixed your grammar here, since that's all you seem to need:

The Once and Future King by T.H. White is a splendid classic tale of a young hero's journey in which he experiences burdensome tests and rewarding prizes.

In The Once and Future King, by T.H. White, a true king of England must be wise, compassionate, and attentive to the men and women of England.