English help needed.?

Question

Can someone please check if the message below is grammatically correct. Could somone please correct my mistakes. I am a teacher in an indian university and i need to send the work below in english. I am not very good at it so could someone please check to see if it ok. I am sending the letter to my uni student. Thanks

Dear Isaac,

Your marks for the year 2007/2008 are as follows

Mathematics 1: 47%

CA: 55%

DSD: 63%

Micro Project: 87%

EMD: 62%

Communications and Measurements: 59%

Energy Transport and Control: 64%

JAVA: 81%

Micro 1: 75%

EMF: 55%

ECD: 49%

Mathematics 2: 37%

Unfortunately you have failed the Mathematics 2 exam and will be required to resit it on the 18th of August and 28th of August. The exam will be each 1 hour long and will be both held in SSB A19 at 9.45AM.

On a happier note I want to congratulate you on your excellent microcomputer project results. You scored in the top 10 in the course and have thus received a mobile as a prize. The mobile is the new Sony Ericsson X1.

Good luck for your resits and will look forward to seeing you on the 16th of September.

Regards

Praneet

Answer 1

Dear Isaac,

Your marks for the year 2007/2008 are as follows;

Mathematics 1: 47%

CA: 55%

DSD: 63%

Micro Project: 87%

EMD: 62%

Communications and Measurements: 59%

Energy Transport and Control: 64%

JAVA: 81%

Micro 1: 75%

EMF: 55%

ECD: 49%

Mathematics 2: 37%

Unfortunately you have failed the Mathematics 2 exam and will be required to retake it on the 18th of August and 28th of August. Each exam will be 1 hour long and will taken in SSB A19 at 9.45AM.

On a happier note I want to congratulate you on your excellent microcomputer project results. You scored in the top 10 in the course and have thus received a mobile as a prize. The mobile is the new Sony Ericsson X1.

Good luck with your retakes and will look forward to seeing you on the 16th of September.

Regards.

Praneet

this is how i would do it

Answer 2

Yes it looks fine only if they have to do the resit on either 18th august or 28th august why have you put you will see them in September??

I also don't understand all of the capital letters eg. SSB A19 what is that??