Epidural and embarassment question..?

Question

So I am somewhat modest when it comes to the whole "showing your crotch thing" and everyone always says, "You won't care when your in labor!' Well my question is if I get an epidural (fully intend to), will I still not care or will I just be embarassed the whole time? I know this sounds like an immature question but I am having quite a few family members in the room, (pretty close, just not THAT CLOSE) lol

Any advice?

Answer 1

I have herd alot of people say that don't want people in the room because they don't want there family to see them but when it came time there where just so ready to push they didn't care. If anything make them stay up by your head or on the other side of the room so they wont see anything. We didn't have anyone in the room just my husband and i!

Answer 2

I'm was worried about this too and I remember talking to someone about it when I was pregnant. They told me "you won't care once as you are in lab our". It was true, I didn't care. I had 2 people in the room, my fiance and my mom. I knew I wouldn't care about my fiance seeing me, but I was nervous about my mom. Its a whole different atmosphere and your thinking process will be different as well. I remember telling my fiance a few weeks after I had my daughter, "I used to be so private where no one saw anything and then all of a sudden, in a span of a few days I have one nurse squeezing my b***s to help me breastfeed and another nurse checking my crotch to see how swollen I am." I wont seem like a big deal especially after so many people see you.

That seems like quite a lot of people in the delivery room- 6 people. My hospital wouldn't even allow more than 2 at the most. Have you thought that through? I'm not trying to convince you other wise but I could never imagine having 6 people in the delivery room.

Answer 3

If you are that uncomfortable, then why are you having all the "not that close" people in the room to see..... Im just having my husband for that reason. I don't need anyone else seeing my area.

Answer 4

Once you start feeling pain, you won't care anymore. Even when you get the epidural, it won't matter.

Trust me, i'm a VERY modest person.

Good luck & Congratulations.

Answer 5

Ask them to stay above your head, that you are not comfortable with everyone seeing you beev up close and personal. I think they will understand, anyone who doesn't just tell them that you need to be comfortable during labor and if they can't respect your wishes then you are going to have to ask them to wait in the waiting room while you give birth.

Answer 6

YOU WON'T CARE!!!!!  Trust me and everyone else, when it comes down to it, no matter what drugs you get, you don't care who sees what, so long as that baby gets out!!!  You lose all modesty in that situation.  Eventually, you recover it, but during labor and delivery, it's the last thing on your mind.

Answer 7

I just had my second child 3 weeks ago and Im the same way, but the truth is you really don't care, by that time you just want the baby out and to see him/her for the first time.

Answer 8

Once you have an epidural, you'll feel pretty much normal so modesty might remain an issue.  However, I've seen lots of women in labor and even very modest women have changed their modesty when in labor, even after an epidural.  During pushing things are still pretty intense because it's such hard physical work, I think especially with an epidural when it's harder to feel that urge to push and labor takes longer and pushing is more difficult.

There are lots of ways to keep modesty in childbirth if that is a concern for you.  You can consider:

- Keeping sheets etc. over you

- Keeping a towel over you in the tub

- Wearing clothes that are yours, not the hospital gown, if the hospital is open to it (just make sure they are "easy access" like an over sized long t-shirt or men's dress shirt)

- Having family members leave during vaginal exams or equipment being put in (ex: bladder catheter which will come with an epidural; internal monitors; if they break your water), then they can come back in after everything is in place

- During pushing, have family up by your face and not down where they can see (however there is not a lot of room for more than two support people)

- During pushing, have family members wait on the other side of the little curtain by the door, so they can hear everything but can't see

- Choosing just a couple of support people to stay with you in the room during pushing

Lots of ideas there; take what makes sense to you.

Also, it wouldn't be fair to not tell you that if you are feeling self-conscious it might affect your dilation.  Just like an animal in the wild, if they are in labor and a predator sneaks up on them, labor stops so they can find a safe place.  Pretty cool plan of nature, huh?  If you don't feel safe, physically or emotionally, your body will stop in the same way.  If you find that you are in labor and family presences are making your nervous, you might consider asking them to leave...listen to what you need...this is your moment, your birth.  On the other hand, many women really need that family presence for support...you'll probably know what is most helpful when you are in the middle of it.  It might make sense to warn family ahead of time that you might need to kick them out at certain times and if that happens it's nothing they did, it's just what you needed to get the job done.

Good luck Friday!

Answer 9

I don't understand why you would want so many people in the room with you when you have the baby.  Especially if you are worried about people seeing you.  You are put in a position where you will be on display so that the doctor can deliver your baby.  With that said, if you have all these people in the room they will be able to move about the room and there is a chance they will see "your everything".  I only want my husband in the room with me.  I didn't need everyone in there when I got pregnant and I don't want them in there when I deliver.

Answer 10

I was the same way, and no, it's not an immature question!!

I was so badly afraid of showing everything, that I didn't let ANYONE - besides my husband - in the room!

I was also told a lot of "horror" stories about going to the bathroom while pushing, so when I went into labor, I tried to make the doctor do most the work. =] LOL

You'll be fine, and if anything embarrassing DOES happen, don't feel bad, because I'm sure the nurses and/or the doctors have seen it all before. =]

Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 11

I was THE most modest person on the planet before I had kids.  I had and epidural and a room full of people watching the birth of my first child.  When the time came to have him, that was the only thing I was focused on.  I really did not care.  I do however recommend that you think about who you want in the room.  If there are certain people you do not want watching, let the nurse know.  They should be kept out of the room.  I didn't say who could or couldn't come in the room, so, unfortunately, it was somewhat of a free for all...LOL   One of my friends even filmed it for me.  I really didn't care though - and noone else even seemed to think twice about it. One of my husband's girlfriends (like I said, it was somewhat of a drop in and watch thing) even told me "that was one of the coolest things I've ever seen".   When it's happening, all you care about is seeing your baby.   Good luck and best wishes.  

Answer 12

i was the same you was!!! don't worry the only thing you are gonna be concentrating on is the glorious moment is comes out...also, my husbands mom wanted to be up close and personal...let him know he's the bouncer so he can tell who ever you want to stand back or stand at your head! lol   good luck and congradulations

Answer 13

I feel you!  i am totally modest when it comes to stuff like that.  

first of all, the epidural is a pain blocker, it doesn't do anything to your mental awareness.  so if you were aware of being embarrassed before the epidural, you will still be embarrassed after.

I chose to have no one in the room except for my husband ( and the nurses/doc)  

i knew that if i had other people in the room i would be self conscious   of that the entire time and that i wouldn't be giving my daughter 100%.

i am so glad i did that because when it came down to delivery i was able to completely focus on pushing my daughter out, and not worried about who was seeing what!

Everyone is different so do whatever makes you feel comfortable, but don't take away from the situation by being embarassed the whole time because a bunch of people are all over you.  oh and PS i did care who saw what, even when i was in pain.. that doesn't go away.

Answer 14

No one likes spreading their legs for the world to see but a vag is a vag and that's nothing to be embarrassed about.  No one will be looking at that anyways, they're family members for one and they're going to be concentrating on your baby!! =]

CONGRATS!!  

Answer 15

Have them stand near your head and tell them not to be peering around the doctor at your crotch and they should respect your wishes.

Having an epidural won't make you feel less modest, but the pain and wanting to just get it over with will. You might still feel embarrassed, but it won't matter and no one else will care.  

Answer 16

Honey I don't think they will allow you to have that many people in the room.  IF they do you wont care who looks.  I had my son at a teaching hospital and when I had complications that required avacuumm extraction I had about 20 people troop in the room and stand around looking at my v****a.  And I could have cared less.  I had a split second thought of WTF! but that passed.  

Answer 17

Congrat's! You are so close to holding dear Andelyn in your arms! I know the excitement and trepidation that brings. I am a very modest person so during the birth of my first I kicked everyone out except for my husband. I know everyone says you won't care what is happening, you will be so preoccupied and focused- but I sure cared! I was more relaxed the second time around and had 5 family members (including my FIL and SIL) in the room with the strict instruction of them staying at the head of the bed. The Dr. and nurses were kind enough to drape a sheet over my calves so they had no "view" of the activities down south. But they were still able to see him as the Dr. held him up and then placed him on my chest immediately after his birth. I had an Epidural with both deliveries and it did not affect my inhibitions with either in the very least. I still wanted my privacy regarding my nether region =).

Good luck, I hope your induction is very uncomplicated and your labor is short!

Answer 18

Honestly you really wont care because you will feel more emotions in a very short time than just being scared someone will see you. I didn't know there were over 15 people in my room (nurses and doctors) until after I delivered and even then it wasn't too bad cause I had a wonderful son to take my mind off of it. You can always have whoever is with you stand up by your head which is what I did. Good luck and God bless.  

Answer 19

To be honest I didn't let anyone but my husband and my mom in when I had my first 2. I love my family but they do not need to see my crotch! You need to be 100% comfortable with your situation and that sounds like it's going to distract you. I would talk to your mom and see if she would mind passing on to the rest of the family members that want to be in the room that you're just not comfortable with it. The epidural is WONDERFUL!!!! But it doesn't change your state of mind at all. You will have a pain med drip which basically gives you a little buzz here and there but it's not going to make you "not care" about who is checking out your business. When you're in labor you need to be focused on pushing and not worrying who is staring at your hooha and if you defecate how embarrassed you will be. Seriously talk to your partner and your mom about it. My mother in law wanted to be in the room but I said - I am really only comfortable with my mom & my husband since they have already seen everything I've got lol. She totally understood...and so will yours.  

Answer 20

U don't show your crotch to anyone but your husband (i wouldn't want to though) and your doctor. Anyone else SHOULD NOT be in the birthing room. And you wear a full hospital gown right up to that point anyway.

Answer 21

I am very modest about that kind of stuff, and what's worse, I don't like any one seeing me in pain. But that didn't stop me from letting my ex-husband's mother and my mother hold my legs while I pushed. We were getting a divorce and he was 3 hours away, so I didn't have to worry about him being there, but after I started pushing, I didnt care at all that they were in there, in fact, I was a bit greatful for the help.GL to you!

Answer 22

once the pitocin gets in your system and you get a full blown contraction you most likely wont be thinking about the dr and nurse looking at your private area! youll be ready to see your baby and will get caught up in the moment. but you can always ask the nurse who gets you set up for being induced  and im sure that if everything goes right they will try their best to keep you comfortable and not look .

good luck and congrats.

Answer 23

Lol!  First of all let me tell you that its great your letting people share the special moment.  Second its still going to hurt so no you wont care, you be too tired to.

Answer 24

I have had 6 children, why are you having alot of family members in the delivery room?    An epidural is just to ease pain, if you are modest, then you will still be modest...you make the decision, if you dont want the people in there tell the nurses about your fears, they will keep you covered as much as possible, but during delivery you will be full exposed, ususally the hospital only lets 3 people in during the delivery, and when the doctor examines you, usually they ask everyone else to leave.....good luck, you shouldnt have to worry about this....just have a healthy baby, good luck.....

Answer 25

LMAO!  I was worried about the same thing the first time!  I had my Mom, my Grandmother, my Sister and my boyfriends Mom in the room!  And I didn't know how to ask them to leave!  My boyfriend had gotten into some trouble so he wasn't around at the time...

I had an epidural, but after 19 hours of labor when it came down to the ACTUAL thing, I didn't care.  I was just ready to get it over with.  You can also ask that they all stay up at the TOP of the bed by your head.  Thats what we did when my sister in law gave birth :)  We were still able to see everything (except the crotch shot, i didn't care to see it anyway, lol) but were still very much there and involved :)  It was a GREAT experience.  

Now here I am with #2, and having the same feelings as I did the first time!  But, I'm sure once I get there in the same position again I just won't care!  

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!  CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!  I go to the doc tomorrow and am going to ask him about induction...I have never felt so miserable :(  

Answer 26

Well the epidural won't affect the way you feel it will just make you numb. I think you just have to make the decision if you want them there they will see your "area". If you tell the nurses and doctor that you are having other people in there that you don't want to see your stuff they usually try and keep you covered up. I would suggest that the people you don't really feel comfortable letting see you help hold your hands or feet that way they are at your head and not down there. Good luck and once you are in labor nothing else matters except getting that little one out.

Answer 27

If you're modest, why on Earth would you invite extra people into the room?  Also, your crotch will look nothing like a crotch!!  It morphs into something scary!!  Family memebers aren't going to want to look at it until there's a baby there, and even then, it won't look like a crotch.

From my experience I can tell you that the nurses and doctors were very good when it came to discretion.  When it was time for me to get checked, they asked everyone to leave the room.  It is true that when you're in labour you won't care, but once you have the epidural you are aware of what's going on.  Don't be afraid to ask for privacy if you need it.