Essence of Summer...........a poem, care to comment?

Question

Thanks to Elaine. My second attempt playing by the rules this time.

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Auqwqor1.hVWkXKelwHvwwpkGxh.;_ylv=3?qid=20080723140911AAtF6yC

Essence of Summer

by Jellz Fisher 080729

Summer comes to our place

Blowfly hums round my face

Sandy feeling wind blows

Quickly peeling our clothes

Jump excited, in pool

Kids delighted, no rule

Same for all come to play

Have a ball, then go ‘way

Summer season, good time

Ideal reason to rhyme

Answer 1

It is a great poem, makes you happy reading it. Oh, I love summer time.

Answer 2

it's ok.....

Answer 3

All sounds cool.

Answer 4

What is all this laughing and having going on around here? Back to work!

Answer 5

its hot

its hot

damnit its hot

my head is on fire

and i sweat a whole lot

its hot

its hot

damnit its hot

it so hot in the clothes im in

still hot when im naked..so imma take off my skin

its hot

its hot

damnit it hot

Gatorade and water

are im much demand

If traded central air for my youngest daughter

would u understand?

its hot

its hot

damnit its hot

U know its hot

and u are screwed

when flames shoot your nose instead of snot

and folks in h**l are laughin at u

its hot

its hot

damnit its hot

Answer 6

I like couplets and therefore Essence Poetry. You are unique; you don't have to play by the rules--as long as you know them--which you do!

Answer 7

Way away the 'way.  Nice, you are however, stretching with 'way!

Answer 8

good attempt