Eternal love poem draft. your verdict?

Question

Eternal love

Softly the heavens fill the oceans door,

Tenderly caressing with one fine brush,

Canvas painted in g*y sunflower smiles,

Scattered rose petals and glistening wine.

Hypnotized while gazing, twinkling skies,

Beneath the missal toe, summers delight,

Strawberry kisses in tango twist swirls.

Enjoying the harmonic harp strings play,

As mind escapes to a different place,

Ocean drifts beyond the crystal blue shores,

Only author knows where the ocean flows,

Swiftly we waltz to the journey of life,

Once novel is written and story is read,

Our stories complete, our legacies kept.

Answer 1

how can anyone verdict your poem when theres nothing to fix? It is a free style right? You do whatever you want!!! But I LOVE IT!!!! You actually made me cry full of joy!!!! =] Such creative and imagitive poem full of meaning with life!!! Do me a favor, keep on writting and publish this beautiful poem!!!! =D

Answer 2

good imagery has been used.. all these to show the fruitfullness of 'love'... really good! i like it!

Answer 3

Great visual!

I LOVE the line: Strawberry kisses in tango twist swirls! Makes me want an ice-cream!

PS. Mistle-toe (don't mean to be picky, just helpful!)

Answer 4

its so lvly poem...

you are  innovative,imaginative .....

keep it up.......

keep going...

bt still i feel there should b some improvements in this poem,which makes it more intresting nd love poem should b smthing that imaginative nd loving,that readers should feel deeply that there is some emptiness in life,due to lack of love...,or they should feel that they had not done any wrong by being in true love,nd they should feel ,they r the luckiest nd in the top of the world,after reading it