Etiquette: Discussing the death of an old friend by email?

Question

Scenario: You find some old friends through facebook. You ask about an old friend who you both knew. The response is that he died suddenly several years ago at a fairly young age, but no information about "what happened" is given. Is it bad etiquette to ask "what happened?" through email? If so,why?

Answer 1

No, if you are sensitive enough in the way you ask then it should be okay.

Answer 2

Not at all, just make it sensitive. like "If it's not too much, would you mind telling me how it happened?" or something to that effect. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

Answer 3

It's ok to ask .It don't matter if it was 10 minutes or 10 years. It's out of concern you are asking, it's not like you've making fun of the persons passing....bd

Answer 4

I absolutely believe its ok to ask for info on a friends death you are asking out of concern and shock. A common denominator exists here and that is friendship. How will you get the facts otherwise. It could help with grief, if not the other one will respond he doesn't want to talk about it right now and let you know later the details of your friends passing. It always is a subject with a weird awkwardness uncomfortable for most anyway, however ask. There is nothing wrong with wanting to know the facts about a friends death.

Answer 5

Try and look it up on line by going to the town paper it should be in the obituaries section.  

Answer 6

Yes, it's bad etiquette.

Do it in person, it's not appropriate to do it by email because it's so impersonal.

If you can't see them in person, do it on the phone, so you can hear their voices.

Answer 7

No, I would ask. Although it's strange that your friend didn't tell you in the first place, as it's an obvious thing to address. There may be some reason for that or it could be incidental. If you have another common friend, I would maybe ask them just in case, or else ask the same person. It's understandable that you would want to know what happened to your friend who has passed.

Answer 8

In this day of electronic communication I don't think it would be considered rude or poor etiquette to ask your friend more about what happened.

However had you the email address of the deceased man's parents ( given that they were most likely on the outskirts of this electronic age and did things differently ) I think emailing them and asking re the details would be tacky ... but you seen considerate enough to NOT do that.

Answer 9

No, i don't think so.  It may be in poor taste to do so if the death was recent, but since it has been a few years everyone involved has had ample time to heal.  It should not be a big deal.

Answer 10

Not at all ! If you were mutual friends with this person, There is nothing wrong with asking what happened ? It is out of concern and genuine grief for your old friend. I sure would. It would bother me not knowing.