Etiquette about having people over at my house??

Question

Okay, so my husband and I have people over to our home every few weeks to play a texas hold 'em tournament. We have a regular group of people come, and we're always looking to get more people involved.

We have a friend who attends every time and he's a lot of fun -- we play with him weekly at the local poker room. There is another couple who plays there that our friend is friends with, but we DO NOT like this couple. Well, we like the husband but despise the wife. :|

Our friend pretty much said "Oh, next time you guys have it call me and I'll call (insert their names here) and invite them it will be fun!" Didn't even ask us if it was okay to invite them. Now, we don't want them to come to our home!

How do we handle this in the best way? Do we just flat out tell him we don't like them and don't want them to come over? Do we make up an excuse? (We can't say it's too full because he knows..) Do we suck it up and allow these people we don't like into OUR home for OUR function? Any other options I'm missing? I don't want to be rude, but I don't want them over!

Help!

Answer 1

You invite the friend. If the friend suggests the other couple, simply let him know that you have your guest list complete. That's not being nasty just matter-of-fact. Then let it go. You don't owe him or anyone else an explanation for your actions-period.

Answer 2

Hmmm..awkward situation isn't it?  This is how I would handle it given that your friend should have asked you if it was okay in the first place.

Explain to your friend that you appreciate the suggestion but to please leave the invites up to you.  Something like this (let's say his name is Mike):

"Mike, I appreciate the suggestion but if you don't mind please leave the invites up to my husband and me."

He may press the matter and ask you to explain so you may want to say, " I really don't want to go into details but I have a few issues with__________.  I realize they are your friends but please keep what I'm telling you to yourself if you don't mind."

You may have to explain what's going on because had he asked you if it was okay you would have said no and he would have wondered.

Since you would feel quite uncomfortable  you're under no obligation to have to suck it up.

Answer 3

Invite the friend but make it clear that the invitation is only for him. "We're trying to limit the number but it would be awesome if you could be there." You don't need to have people you don't like at your home.

Answer 4

It's your house.. YOU decide who comes, not your friend. It will sting a bit, but you have to let your friend know that the other couple just makes you uncomfortable and if they continue to come, you will stop having the game at your home.