Etiquette for christening baby...

Question

Before our daughter was born my husband and I chose his best friend (since they were in high school) and his fiance to be our daughter's Godparents. They live in the same town as us, adore children, and are very, very close to us- we are even in their wedding in October.

Then, a couple months later, a couple of our other great friends asked me to be their daughter's Godmother. They did not ask my husband to be her Godfather because they originally only knew me. Since then all four of us have become extremely close.

Here's my situation. I want to have both couples be Godparents but I don't want to offend the friends that we've already asked. They have spoiled her rotten since before she was even born and they love her like their own. I don't want to them to feel like alternates.

What is the etiquette on this? Can our other friends be honorary Godparents or is there another suitable title?

Thank you!

Answer 1

This says a lot about you as a person.  I'd love for all my friends to be like you.  You are few & far between...

On to the subject; you are not that much into a delima.  Do not feel that your other friends will be hurt if you do not ask them to be Godparents.  If they ask (which I doubt they would) why they were not considered in the run as Godparents, let them know exactly as you did in the beginning of your question; the two of you decided this a long time ago because your husband and his HS friend have known each other for X many years and have been best friends during the entire duration, etc... Don't stress too much over this.  Your other friends could always be called Aunt & Uncle. :)

Congrats on the pregnancy and know your child will truly be loved. :-)

Answer 2

You can have both couples as God Parents. My cousins daughter had 6 God Fathers and one God Mother. My Twins both have 2 God fathers and 4 God Mothers. You can have as may as you like these days but some churches only allow 2 of the God Parents to go up to the altar. It depends how many babies are getting baptized on that day. The church where my cousin got her baby baptized only has one baptism on Sunday so they had the whole church to themselves and all the God Parents got to stand at the front. Most other churches have conveyor belt christenings where all the babies are at the front and done one after the other so it gets kind of crowded up there!

Answer 3

I say ask the other family to be the Godparents as well.  My nephew has three Godfathers and three Godmothers.  If the other family asks tell them that both families mean a lot to you and you want your daughter to have both families as her Godparents.  I don't think they would take offense to that.  

Answer 4

Changing your mind is one thing but it seems that you want to return the favor to your new friends.  

You asked the long time friends about being the God parents and now because of the friend you have found you want to add them too... but the original Godparents have no knowledge of your other friends and might feel like you didn't think they would do a good enough job as a God parents or that you changed your mind when the case seems to be that you just want to include your love and friendship of the new combers.  Tough one but you previously asked them and if having the new combers at the baptism is great but announcing more God parents when only one was originally thought if seems to me an after thought and NO one wants to be an after thought and you might end up offending both good friends.

Only you know your friends but I hope this clears things up for you and your baby is a really lucky baby to have such a great mommy and wonderful God parent want to be's!

Answer 5

Well since "Godparents" are supposed to, traditionally, look after the spiritual education of the child...I don't see why there can't be four Godparents?

Is choosing Godparents for the CHILD or for the people you're asking?

Answer 6

I chose a god parent, my brother.  And a sponsor, which is someone who will help to teach your child about god if the godparent needs a little help answering the questions or getting your child to church because of work or whatever.  I chose my mom and she was happy to be a spnsor but then it was still special for my brother because he was still the godparent.  The church gave them both the same things and made them say the same oath and such...Maybe make one couple sponsors???If your church does that, because I am Lutheran Christian

Answer 7

Im not sure it theres another suitable title but i would personally get offended. But i guess its a choice you have to make for the well being of your baby!

Answer 8

I'm not sure what your religion is, but I'm catholic and you can only have one set of godparents (they don't have to be married to each other either -- my brother is my daughter's godfather and my good friend is her godmother).  Anyhoo, i would choose one couple (the couple you originally asked).  I don't think you'll offend anyone. That's awesome you have so many good friends who adore your baby, you're lucky!  Your baby will only benefit from it.