Ever felt like you were on different pages?

Question

My husband and I have been married for over a year now, we were engaged within 4 months and married a year after that. We recently moved in with my parents so we can pay off our debt and buy a home next summer.

Lately it's seemed we are just on different pages with everything, he thinks ive gotten old and we don't act our age anymore. I would prefer to relax at the house than go out a lot of the time. We are both worried we are just on different pages. I can't tell if it's that or the stress of living with my parent's and not having our space, our time, our anything anymore. And I am always checking up on him, his text messages and internet usage. He's cheated once and we worked things out, but we both thought I was over it and moved on.. now I am not so sure. I just cant get that out of the back of my mind.

I don't want a divorce, I married him and only him. I am just worried we are headed in two totally different directions and will eventually fall apart?

Answer 1

for the last five years of our marriage i felt this way. we are separated right now. fix it now before it goes on too long. good luck!

Answer 2

Get back on the same page!  Compromise!  If he wants to go out sometimes, then DO!  

You do need time out of your parents house!  You don't have to spend $ to do that.  Grab a coffee and go sit in the park.  Get out and spend one-on-one time together.  TALK!

And let it go...he will win your trust back, but it's not easy...trust is earned...you aren't letting him earn it if you're always worring about it.  You've proved that he's 'being good' by checking his texts and internet stuff, so you're good!  

Sounds like you guys are on a great road to a big huge married RUTT...dont' let it happen!

Answer 3

I totally understand your situation.

Let me give you my opinion one by one.

Firstly, there is nothing wrong in being more of indoor person. See to it at the same time, that you are living with your parents. Everyone feels more comfortable with their own parents. But think about your husband who will be always in need of that extra personal time with you alone. So you have to balance your need and his needs. Try going out as much as possible. After going out may be like 2 or 3 times, the next time you can let him know that you need some time to relax at home. He will definitely respect you this time. Try doing this.

Secondly, once the spouse has cheated, it always takes the other person lots of time to recover from the depression and its impacts (it may take years). My husband cheated on me last year. I still dont trust him completely. It takes time. But I am working on it. It is obvious that you are checking his emails, wallet etc. If he is true to you now, it will be proved to you eventually. Because as time goes on, you will not find anything against him.

Overall, try to think positive about your relationship. Dont expect the other to change. You first make the change in you even if you dont like it, your husband will understand that slowly. Overall, have patience.Dont think about divorce. If you are not able to live happily with a normal person, you will not be happy with any other person after getting divorced. Try to adjust. Relationship is all about understanding your partner and taking things positively :)

Answer 4

Different pages,,,, h**l,, we aren't even in the same library

Answer 5

Honestly, I think it has to do with living with your parents. If you look at my previous questions that I've posted I've talked about living with my in-laws. That really does cause problems between a couple. No offense but why didn't you guys save up money first, then get married and have the house ready? I live with my in-laws because we are buying the house with us 4(adults) and I hate it! Its been over a month, but my hubby and I decided to add a manufactured home in the backyard since its very huge! So we'll be out of that house no later than 3 months. But if he wants to go out, maybe one weekend you should go out with him. I mean think about it, if you lived with HIS parents you would probably want to get out to get some fresh air, just not to be home! Thats how I am with my hubby, on the weekends I always want to go out. Maybe you should talk to him and ask him how he feels about living with your parents? And if he wants to go out with YOU, then you should definitely take advantage cause then later he won't invite you anymore and you'll regret it. Good luck :)

Answer 6

don't worry, the 1st year is always the hardest...I found that to be true with my hubby of 11 years

I think the worst time we had was when we where building the house, I wanted things just so, and him being a contractor was sure his way was right!!

take a night out with each other, have fun like when you were dating, spice "things" up

hang in there, you will make it!!

Answer 7

Man!  My ex and i weren't even in the same book.  No!  Beyond that, we weren't even in the same library.