Ever since my son died everything has gone from good to bad for me why?

Question

ever since my son died last year every thing has gone from good to worse for me why is this happening?

Answer 1

When my son passed on 4 years ago I was a walking zombie. I found it almost impossible to focus on every day things and I'm sure when I went out in public I looked right through people I've known for years. I couldn't function at work and I didn't care if I did things correctly or not. They say, "Time Heals All", I disagree. I am better at concentrating on my job a daily tasks, but the pain is still the same and I miss him more and more every day. I smile and laugh now, but I will never get over losing my son.

Take Care and God, bless!!!

Answer 2

That's a pretty common occurrence among folks who have lost a child. I know that it's what happened to one of my mom's closest friend who's son died a few months before his third birthday. It took her several years to completely come out from under the cloud of his loss...nothing looked good or happy in her world and she was not even particularly happy with her other children (most of whom were born after the death of her son).

I have three suggestions for you:

1) See if you can find something, anything, in your life or in the world in general that you are happy about or that you think is a good thing. Maybe it's another child, a pet, your spouse, a best friend, flowers growing, summer rain....whatever.

2) Find out if there are any suppoort groups in your area for parents who have lost children. It might be helpful to you to know that there are others going through a similar thing.

3) Seek out a good therapist who can help you to work through these issues.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

aw im sorry about your son.

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just try being positive about some things that your not.

i know its hard but keep going on with your life.

Answer 4

I am sorry about your son.  Bad things happen so that we can value the good things.  Look inside of you and think about the good things you still have. Focus on them.  I have not yet felt the pain of losing a real loved one, but I fear the time it will happen every moment of my life. It is obvious you still need time to mourn and that is ok.  But dont forget about the other people and things in your life that are still there. Give them love and see the love coming back at you.  Think about how your son would have wanted you to be.  I dont know if this will help.  I am talking from the heart. Go to Church and Pray, have Faith in God that EVERYTHING WILL BE BETTER SOON. This I do know has helped me a lot to overcome bad situations. Good luck!

Answer 5

I think it just seems that way to you hun, it takes a long time to get over the greif of death especially when it is a child.. Maybe you can try some support groups to help you get back on with your life the best you can.. I am sorry and best of luck to you..

Answer 6

how can anything be worse?

Answer 7

I am soo sorry about your son. I can see why r acting this way. You go from a happy then when u think about him and then u break into crying. Maybe get some help get things that take him off your mine. Hope this helps And again im soo sorry.

Answer 8

I bet its gonna turn out fine dont worry just pray for him

Answer 9

wow,

i am soooo sorry to hear about your son!

well you have tho think positive

you cant let things get your down

b/c you have experienced such a great lose nothing feels good anymore

you have to make things good

you have to open up and not look at everything in a bad way

i wish u the best luck

bambam

Answer 10

have you ever heard of the secret ( book or movie)?  Maybe you should try to look that up, it says in there if you draw negative energy towards you that is all you are going to have.  I am not saying don't morn the death of your son, but start being positive in life and positive things will start to happen.  I am really sorry for your loss.  I would really take a look at this book I think it could help you.  Good luck and Best Wishes for the months to come.

Answer 11

I'm sorry for you.  Just remember that you didn't lose him, he just got to Heaven first to make it perfect for you when you get there.

Try some grief counseling.  They have groups for parents who have lost children.  I'd be willing to bet that there are a lot of parents out there that feel the same way as you do.

Some mothers keep their children a total part of them.  When they lose a child, it's like losing a part of yourself.  You are not only grieving your son, but also yourself and it's hard to make things go right after such a tragedy.

Good luck.

Answer 12

a loss, especialy of a child is very hard on everyone. it causes many feelings, and depression. i am very sorry for your loss. but with time things will get better.

Answer 13

because all you're thinking about is bad stuff...you're attracting bad energy..

Answer 14

im sorry to hear this but maybe you should talk to a therapist

Answer 15

Look grieving is a really long process- it takes a long time to come to an acceptance of this horrible thing that happened to you. Give your self time to grieve and then go on.

I am soo sorry about your son - perhaps you could use some counseling to get through this time.

Answer 16

I agree with Nat...yet...how can anything be worse than loosing a child.  There isn't even a word for that.  It may just be your perception of things.  You know your son is still with you spiritually.  He will always hold that place in your heart.  Look out the window today and pinpoint the beauty in the things around you.  When things look like they are turning south...look up.  Pinpoint the pros in the situation.

Answer 17

It's hard to see the positives in your life when you are experiencing the grief that comes with the loss of a child, it will be a long time before this pain lifts and you have to give yourself more time.

Please seek counselling to help you come to terms with your grief.

Answer 18

I don't think anyone can ever know why we sometimes have those stretches of horrible things in our lives.  

I've learned that it takes about a full five years to really get as "over" a loss of someone close as we ever get; and I know the loss you've suffered is pretty much the worst.  My sincerest condolences, even though I don't know.  A family member went through the loss of a child.  

Whatever has gone on since is going to feel a lot worse than it otherwise would have - so that's one thing.

I do know, too, that after we lose someone we are left with a sense of having questions that need to be answered.  Some of those questions are just questions we have, but sometimes we can feel as if we have questions even if we don't know what they are.  That feeling is, I think, a sense of general unsureness and feeling up-in-air as a result of whatever brain chemicals we have going, under the feeling of loss.  Our brain chemicals and hormones change when we're going through loss; and sometimes the sense of loss can almost hit us worse at around a year, when some of the numbness that shock and grief bring about starts to wear off.

I think you're going through one of those awful stretches in life that people so often have; and I think you may never really know why.  In time, though, you may not have the need to know why the way you do right now.  Asking "why" is part of the grief process.

After you go through this process you reach a place where "why" won't matter to you any more; and, instead, you'll find that you're gradually getting more used to whatever has gone on.  Maybe, too, some of what has gone on since was indirectly caused by the death?  

I wish I could give you a better answer, but I know that in time the wondering why will fade, and you'll reach a new place in healing.

Answer 19

so sorry to hear about your son...i lost mine in december 2002 and have never got anyway near over it...everything will seem so much worse because you won't really see the point in anything and everything will seem like it is going wrong all the time because you will never be yourself anymore. it will get better for you in the end though, you just have to take things one step at a time