Ex Husband still pushing to take child out of state/joint custody?

Question

Ok, I need a little honesty here...My Ex husband and I share joint 50/50 custody of our son (Arizona). He now wants to move to our original home state, where most of (both of our) families are. I do not wish to move back, I have lived here over 8 years and this is my home now. Anyway, he wants a schedule of one month on, one month off, for our TWO year old child. I think thats way to long, way to much flying across county, way to much disruption. Currently we have a week on/week off (which I dont particularly like but it fell that way due to driving distance/work etc and our child seems to be adjusting) Of course I've consulted a lawyer (over the phone) and they tell me "I'd be hard pressed to find a judge to allow that" yet, HE says HIS lawyer tells him that "sure, a month on and month off is completely doable for a 2 year old and you'll get it" I already know he will use the "extended family" located in the other state as a bonus/to help him get his way, and although I DO want our child to have a relationship with his dad and extended family, I cant bear the thought of him being away from his home and family HERE, for a month at a time (and the obvious disruptions that entails) Am I being unfair to the EX? To our child, by trying to keep him here? (more, not all the time) Any tips/comments appreciated, I am at a stand still as the EX keeps pushing for an answer and if I dont, will retain his lawyer, I'll have to retain mine, and both spend thousands of dollars neither one of us has since we just were divorced a few months ago; and is it all to get to the same outcome of what he wants anyway?? Thank you so much for any comments or pointers of what could "really" happen or what kind of schedule he MAY agree to to propose...

Answer 1

I REALLY doubt that he would ever get the judge to agree to that arrangement.  Your child is way too young to be away from his mother for a month at a time, and it's not fair to him to have to fly that much.  Additionally, the cost of all of that travel is really going to add up.  And on top of all of that... what are you guys going to do in three years when your son is in school?  Extended family is great, but it doesnt match up to the absence of the mother.  

I think you need to get a lawyer and fight this.  Your lawyer will help you figure out a reasonable visitation schedule.  The fact is, there is not going to be a happy ending here.  Either your ex will be screwed because he is without his extended family, or your son will be because he is without his mom or his dad.  There's not really a way around it.  That's the sucky thing about divorce. :(

Answer 2

I think I would feel different if he wasnt TWO. Your ex needs his head examined if he thinks it is in the best interest of your child to have to travel that much back and fourth. I would let the courts know you are NOT ok with this, and that you might be ok with it when your child is older, but not at this time.