Ex Step mom raised me for 15 yrs, I'm 23 & reunited w/ my birth mom.How can I include both at my wedding.

Question

My biological mother gave me to my father when I was younger. My step mom and father raised me until I was 18. I did not see my real mom much as her priorities weren't parenting at the time. I reunited with her about 4yrs ago but continued to have a relationship with my ex step mom. My biological mom does not like that I still have a relationship with ex step mom. My father who is remarried does not care and knows my step mom has always been there for me. I want to include my ex step mom along with my biological mom and my father and his new wife in my wedding, from announcements, programs, seating etc... Is this wrong? How should I go about doing this?

Answer 1

Your "ex step mom" is your mom. She has been more of a mother to you than your biological one, so she should be honored as such. Don't give all the fanfare to a woman who just reentered your life. That would cheapen what your mom (the step one) has done for you. Your biological mom needs to get over it. It was her choice not to be a part of your life, so she needs to accept the consequences of her actions. Your bio mom can have honorable mention in the program i.e. a little mention of how wonderful it has been to reunite with her before your wedding day, but nothing more. That is not wrong of you, in fact, that's the only kind way to go about it. Your bio mom can do a reading. Stand by your mom, no not the bio one, the one who was there for your first day of school. first crush and heartbreak, took care of you when you were sick, saw with pride your accomplishments, bandaged your skinned knees, got you your first bra...The list goes on and on, I'm sure. How many memories do you have with your bio mom? How many do you have with your ex step mom? The latter has more, I'm sure.

Answer 2

I would do it exactly like you listed in your description. I had my mother and father both give me away in my wedding because they both thought they should.  They both walked me down the aisle and gave me away.  Its your wedding so take control and make it what you want.  It is overwhelming and people arent going to like every decision you make but remember this day is about YOU and your going to remember it forever!!  Do it YOUR WAY!

Answer 3

There are lots of things you can do. You could have her do a special reading, or do a special thank you to her at the reception.  I would call her your friend as that will get your feelings across better than ex-step mom but whatever you wish to call her is fine.

Talk to her and see how she feels about it. She may not even want any special recognition. Make sure she knows how special she is to you, and that may be enough for her. THe satisfaction of knowing she is in your heart on her special day can mean a lot more than a mention on the program. If you find a place for her in the cermony, great! If not, thats OK. This is about you sharing your day with the people you love, not just finding titles to make everyone feel special. If she is as close as you say she will understand.  

Answer 4

"The loving parents of (insert your name here) would like you to attend the wedding...blah blah blah"

Which mom are you closest to?

Have your father walk you down the aisle.

You could invite the ex step to be a bridesmaid.

I would get them all corsages. I would give them all "priority seating" and you could have the pastor say something about loving families.

That is it... have the mom you are closest to seated last by an usher.

Other than that.... I think you are fine!

Answer 5

It's not wrong at all. I would actually say not to include your ex step mother, the woman who essentially raised you, would be wrong. For the wording in the announcements just say the "loving family" or "loving parents". In the program you can call your step mom a "close friend, surrogate mother, etc."  and you can have both your mom and step mom seated by the usher at the same time.  

Answer 6

If you want each to hav the honor at your day thats up to you.  and your mom should ahve nothing to say if shes only been around for a short time

-Mom

escorted down aisle by grooms man or her spouse and listed in program as mother.  Can do a reading

-ex step-mom

escorted by groomsmen or spouce and lsited as "close firend of bride".  Can do a reading

-step mom

excorted down aisle by grromsman or family member and seated.  Lsited as step mother in program, wife of father.  can also do a reading.

And seat then all at different tables to avoid issues.

-dad

walk you down the aisle, listed as your escort and father, father daughter dance, and a toast