Ex-Wife - Hates Younger New Wife - HELP?

Question

How can I be sure the my ex-wife is really a bitter ex-wife. I have been divorced for 8yrs and re-married a younger woman than my ex-wife who is 29yrs old - with three boys.

I have one daughter from my ex-wife - she is 12yrs old. My ex-wife has said many of time that she does not have a problem with my new marriage -wife, stepsons.

She will not every come in our house every when she picks up my daughter - we have invited her and her current boyfriend out for dinner, she has said no we ar not friends, all we are looking for is for the kids to see the parents getting along – what is so bad about this - she has told my daughter - that my wife is no good for me - my new wife does not deserve a good life.

She told me right after I was married 4yrs ago that it must be nice to live on a lake and drive a Mercedes; she said this about my new-wife. It must be nice not to have to work to me about my new-wife.

She has totally turned my daughter off about my new-wife, my daughter wants me to get a divorce from my new-wife. she has said many of times that she hates my new wife - both my ex-wife and daughter have called my new-wife a s**t - my new-wife is very s**y and weres mini skirts and tank tops, she is not a s**t - so what can't I have a life - I am 44yrs old.

It appears that my ex-wife hates my new-wife and has turned my daughter into hating my new-wife ?

My ex-wife has been re-married-divorced-serveral boyfreinds and is now having a baby with current boyfriend. Why would this woman act this way after 8 yrs of being divorced ?

How can I be sure that she is totally bitter- I do want my daughter around a negative pulse - this is abuse in my opinion ?

I do not want my daughter to be raised this way it is demented. HELP

Answer 1

Would you like your 12 year old daughter to dress like your current wife? What would people call your daughter. Your current wife needs to dress respectful and act like a mother. Your ex wife wow I just have to much to say about her. She is NOT setting a good example for your daughter getting pregnant out of wedlock. It sounds like she has alot of problems. Bottom line I feel sorry for your daughter.

Answer 2

Women hate and mistrust any other women who are better looking than them. It's just the way of life.

Answer 3

She probably thought that you couldn't find a younger wife when you're 44 and she's 29.

She's just mad cause the new wife is younger and prettier, when it shouldn't be her business if she has a new boyfriend.  

Answer 4

Sounds like sour grapes to me.

She shouldn't be discussing it with your daughter though, this is unfair.

I think once her jealousy has worn off, she'll get over it and get some sort of a life for herself.

Hang in there!  

Answer 5

Speaking as a new wife but without children, it is very difficult for the new person and the ex in your life to get along. There may well be feelings of bitterness on both sides after all, you had many years and experiences with your ex that you cannot repeat with your new wife. Similarly, your ex may feel bitter about the fact that your relationship has lasted while hers haven't but this is human naturee. My husband's ex wife and I speak when necessary but we wouldn't call each other up for a chat and we certainly wouldn't invite her and her partner for dinner, there's too much hurt etc for that to happen. I understand why you want to get along but I'm afraid you'll have to accept that this probably isn't going to happen.

As for your ex wife turning your daughter against your new wife I'm afraid I can't comment on this as we don't have any children but I think the best thing you can do is sit your daughter down and talk to her and try and judge if they are genuinely her thoughts and feelings that she's expressing. It's not unheard of for children to want their estranged parents to get back together you know.

Try not to get too wound up by it, it's an unfortunate side effect or marriage and divorce. Hope it all works out for you :)

Answer 6

Stop trying to invite your ex-wife over for dinner and such, it sounds like you are trying to force a relationship that will never be there. You guys can be cordial and try to get along for your kids, but to expect anything beyond that is asking for too much. Especially if your ex-wife doesn't want to be your friend.

I do agree with you that your ex-wife is wrong for bad-mouthing your new wife, especially to your child. She should let her daughter form her own opinion of the new wife and she should keep her criticisms to herself. I think you should speak to your ex-wife about that, she can have whatever opinion she wants but it's not healthy for her to badmouth the new wife because she's going to be in your daughter's life and your ex-wife should want for everyone to get along.

If you're not getting anywhere through your ex wife you could always try talking to your daughter separately, speak to her and find out what it is about your new wife that she hates so much. It could just be she's parroting what her mom says or it could be that she has her own reason for disliking her, whatever the case is you need to nip it in the bud. She shouldn't be calling your new wife names, no matter what problem she has with her.  

Answer 7

You already knew that would happen. No woman wants another to be put before her when she had you first C'mon you know better than that.

Ever see the movie "Parent Trap", not the new one the old one with Brian Keith.

Remember when his wife comes back into the picture and tells his new fiancee that "my she looks young", but the fact was she was putting her down because the ex wife looked more beautiful then the fiancee at her age.

She kept talking about her eyes weren't right and the hair color and it was funny because both ladies want the same man, but the girls break up the new relation and put Daddy back with the old relation....it was hilarious. I laughed thru the whole thing.

My point is that when a woman loves you and you get divorced that doesn't mean she doesn't care about you or not love you though, she would never admit that, but she will show it in her anger as she attacks your new younger wife.

Nuff said...enjoy your new wife and God speed to you!

Answer 8

You cannot always expect everyone to get along like one big happy family. This is a fact of life.

Sure, it would be great for everyone to get along - especially for the children's sake but sometimes you just have to accept that your EX will never like the new wife and I really do not understand why you are so suprised...

If she is being negative about your new life and her objections and opinions are affecting your daughter, ask the courts to arrange a mediation.

Other than that - I would back off from asking her and her boyfriend to have dinner, etc. At this point, you are just adding fuel to the fire because it is obvious she does not care to spend that sort of time with you.

Focus on your daughter by seeking a mediation and participating in counseling.

Good luck.

Answer 9

yes she is very bitter. iam in the same situation as you are, but iam a new-wife. iam 33 and my husband is 46 with a 15 year old daughter. the difference is that my husband's daughter dosent really listen to the stuff that her mother says about me. my husband and i dont have any kids yet and we are working on that. my husband's ex-wive has 5 more kids by 5 different men and when she damands more money from my husband and she does not get it, she runs down to the courts to get a raise in child support. she is trying to take all of my husband's earnings so he will not have anything to support his future kids with me. she just jealous. my husband's daughter did at one time try listening to her mother. she made smart comments to her father saying that he dosent spend enough time with her, he dosent pay her any attention or buy her things. i had a talk with his daughter and i told her that iam his new-wife and that iam not going any where and that she is going to have to deal with it cuz her father choose to marry me. i also told her that i was not trying to come between her and her father. i was not trying to take his time away from her. i never had any trouble out of her again. my husband's ex-wife is a greedy, selfish and envious ***** and she was that way before he divorced her. she is mad because my husband i sgiving me a good life also and she thinks that neither one of us deserves that. my advice to you is stop trying to have dinner with her and her tiffling boyfriends. she is right you both are not friends. keep your distance and only communicate for the sake of the child. i will not allow my husband to be friends with his ex-wife except for the child, i will not tolearate that c**p of being ran over by my husband's family. the ex-wives are old history and they never complain until the ex-husband get remarried or gets a new girlfriend then they want to use the kids against the fathers and use child support as well. and as for you 12 year old daughter? she is old enough to know right from wrong. is she complaining about all the boyfriends her mother is shacking up with? she i just complaing about your "new-wife". at least your married to her and not shacking up with her. you go ahead and enjoy you new s**y wife! talk to your daughter and try to explain to her that you will always be her father no matter what, but you are a grown man that dosent have to answer to her and certainly not you ex-wife. you ex-wife is the "s**t!"

Answer 10

Guess you screwed this all up when you divorced and tore your daughter's life to shreds and then insisted on making yourself happy by marrying someone else.  You have no one to blame but yourself, get used to it!

Answer 11

How many times do you plan on posting this?

This is two days in a row so far.

Answer 12

You could talk to your ex wife and explain to her how much it hurts the children if you put down the other parent in front of the child.  Neither one of you should talk about adult stuff in front of your kids.  It is too much to put on their shoulders.  Just make sure you are positive around your daughter - eventually she will make her own decisions about who to like and she will remember your actions so make her memories of you good ones.  You can control your own actions but not your ex's.

Answer 13

You ex wife is bitter anybody can see that.  maybe  you wife can tone down her clothes when your daughter is around.  most daughters don't want competition from their step moms in the clothes department.  Have a lot of family outings that include your daughter maybe he is jealous of you spending so much time with her step brothers and not as much with her.  Have father daughter eveinings just you and her at the movies and hiking or something like that.  Only time will heal this mess   good luck

Answer 14

Your daughter is old enough to understand life so sit done and have a talk with her>Her mouth is the mother talking> ask her what she thinks and keep asking question on her answers> Like what then would I do> would that make life better> If the daughter is causing problems with the new wife than keep them apart> when it time to see your daughter go pick her up alone and spend the day with her alone> And take her back to her mothers at night> when she ask why are you doing this say when you grow up and respect my life i will include you in it> Plan a trip and don't include her saying your not happy with us so best stay at home> This should make her think that she needs to change her ideas> Or be left out of your family life> If you don't home life will be come a living h**l> Just my thought> Let her explain the change to mom you don't have to let mom anything> Have your own time with your daughter> Love her and keep it light as she in time will learn that mom is wrong and she can have 2 family's and stability not turmoil> Good luck >  

Answer 15

she still has feelings for you and that makes her jealous and there is really nothing to do about it but talk to her and see what you all could work out something where you all can get along.