Ex assistance ,what do i do for my kids!?

Question

my ex is driving me mental i swear ....my eldest has been suspended for taking his pent up rage out on two boys in the last week .....[both started dispute ....but have explained its wrong to continue them on]

my issue is i finally got him to open up and explain to me why he is so angry at the moment

admist a stream of tears [and after half an hour of being very reserved and not saying why hes upset] he revealed to me that he feels like a slave at my exs during his fortnightly visits ......apparently ex makes him feed their cats [about 6 ] and they scratch his legs ,he takes out the garbage every time its full ,he mows the lawn and he has to help with anything else hes asked to do

meanwhile my girl sits in their house watching tv and playing as he is forced to do things continuously [my girl has confirmed this is the truth]......if i speak to my ex he'll accuse me of telling my son to feel like he does [he has some chores at home -clean his own room ,clean up after his cat and feed her -not always]

if i speak to the school about this anger and the underlying issue they will say its lies aswell ,speak to my ex and make my sons life harder[cos i am a parent who dislikes our principal -he is the type of man who aggravates rather than solves a situation]

you have to understand my son has lost [and in one case regained]four men in his life .....one to cancer ,one to suicide ,one moved away and my ex took off for three yrs and then returned.

am considering going to school counsellor and explaining what i've just found out and seeing if he can talk with my boy .....but seriously is it goin to make a difference?

am lost and need ideas ...and talking to ex is never gonna happen [have tried being civil and he just tells kids once they go ..."whats she want...she can get f*cked "that sort of stuff............any suggestions ?

[this is serious if you dont wanna post serious replies dont bother]

Answer 1

Definitely get the counselor at school involved. She might even talk to the dad. Personally I see nothing wrong with your boy doing chores, but it's weird that they aren't expected of your girl. Perhaps you could talk to her and ask her to willingly help her brother whenever he is assigned chores. That would be so great for their sibling relationship, would solve the problem without involving the dad, and would show him that if he treats them unfairly, they will straighten it out between themselves. You stand a better chance with your daughter than you do with your ex.

Answer 2

Honey, I am so sorry about your problems, and I do think that your son and you need help.

If you can't afford counseling, go to your local church, or woman's shelter, and they will help you, you local church will have names of people that can help you and your son, and so will your local woman's shelter.

They have been there for me in times of need, and they really helped and gave me insight. And counseling.

I pray that God will be with you and get you help along with your son.

If you are still  having problems, please, do not hesitate to contact me.

Misty.