Ex-boyfriend trouble?

Question

My ex-boyfriend dated for quite some time before he broke it off with me at the beginning of the summer. I suffered from minor depression then, and it seemed as though I was burdening him with my negativity and complaining. Sometimes I would even start unnecessary arguments with him. The night after school let out, we went to see a movie, and we had a great time together. I felt great that night after we said goodbye.

The next day, my family left for the beach. I was having a great time until midway through the week, I started another pesky argument with my boyfriend over the phone. He finally asked me, "Am I an unnecessary stress in your life? Were you like this before I met you?". I told him no, but he ended up breaking up with me that night. He said he still liked me, and still wanted to be with me, but he felt it was for the best. We both cried with each other over the phone.

I didn't talk to him for two days, but our then our last day at the beach came, and he contacted me. He ended up saying that he didn't like me anymore and that he didn't want to talk to me for a while. I was thorougly confused and I said some things to him that I didn't mean. But I consented to his wishes, and didn't talk to him all summer. He sent me a text on my birthday and he complimented me saying "I'm sure you're as s**y as always". I was bewildered by that as well.

Today was the first day of school, and I saw him for the first time since before we broke up. At first sight of me, he ran for the nearest stairwell. I caught up with him after school and we talked for a bit. We hugged briefly and said goodbye.

I'm not as upset as I was at the beginning of the summer, and for the most part I have moved on. But now I feel like I want to talk to him at least one last time to try to explain some things about how I was acting. We never exactly had a closure, and I want to move on completely. What do you think I should do?

Answer 1

Closure is definitely the way to go. I mean, at one point you two were so close and talked about so much. Life is too short not to end things properly, and who knows? Maybe closure will help heal the hurt and awkwardness. (Imagine something happening to him and things ending the way they are right now, without ever having a chance to just end things the right way.) I think you should ask him to meet you somewhere like the mall or someplace where there's other people around, that way when you both are finished it will be a little less awkward. (As opposed to meeting at either your house or his.) Good luck!

Answer 2

Let sleeping dogs lie. When you talked with him today, did it feel over? If it's over for you, let it be. If it's not over for him, then it's his job to seek you out.

Answer 3

Sometimes some people just bring out certain things in us, while other people bring out our best. Really, if it wasn't going well, at least you take your responsibility and that's good...but he also had some part to play in something as well. Not sure what, as you don't go very deep into his part.

You don't need to keep connecting with him to re-explain, and re-iterate how you feel, who you are, what it was about...really, you just need to focus on what corrections you can make in yourself, hold your head up and keep on going. I'm sure he still thinks you are s**y or attractive, sure...but he's not invested. So, refine yourself, get stronger and leave him alone. If he wants you, he will come back, but hopefully by then you will have your stuff so sewn up, that you won't go back.

It's hard, I know....but chin up!!