Ex-husband can't move on? Please help!?

Question

I am at my wits ends! I just filed for a divorce due to him lying, and cheating many times throughout our marriage which was only 1 year long. We have no kids, no house, I moved out and I am moving on with my life. Despite my divorce, I am much happier and I feel like I have so much support and love from my family and friends. On the other hand, he is constantly calling, texting me, and doing anything he can to talk to me. I dont answer any of his calls or texts. He cries, begs, whines, telling me not to divorce, blah blah..it makes me sick to my stomach because of all the hurtful things he has done to me! How can I get him to move on? I just want to be content, and in peace and he is making that impossible!!! I cant move because I have a great job, and im a full time student. When is he going to wake up and realize its over? Tips, concerns, advice..please help!

Answer 1

Change your phone number and email address.  He won't move on until he is ready.  You can only keep moving on if he leaves you alone. So change those 2 things and see if that helps any! Good luck!

Answer 2

we can NEVER change and get to where we need to be unless we first face the truth and admit where we are.  Meaning, you first have to admit you still love him very much and wish like h*ll he would have at least acted right.  With that being said, take some time out for you, change your phone number....tell him NOT to call your job, close out that email account (google it "how to close a yahoo or hotmail, etc.).  And move on......WHEN YOU ARE READY!!  A divorce is painful, it's not a small break up, it's canceled dreams, empty promises, and a broken heart.  Don't think about what he is doing and focus on the positive about what you are doing.  Moving  on.  If you had kids I would have said...just do a trial separation.  But only 1 yr, and no kids.  YOu have a fresh start to start over.  And if somewhere down the line you happen to change your mind.  It's ok, you married him for a reason, you knew it was something in your heart that made you know he is the one.  Good luck

Answer 3

I think you made the RIGHT decision to end that relationship.  Yes, he hurt you, but I think it would have been worse if you had stuck around.  Don't beat yourself up, and continue to move on.  

I would suggest changing your cell number so he can quit calling and texting you.  Since you don't have any children together, or house, etc, he has NO REASON to be calling you.  It's your phone, and you need that peace from him!

Good luck...better things are on your horizon!!!

Answer 4

i went thru the same thing with my ex. i left him for bieng an emotionally, verbally, and sometime physically abusive alcoholic. after nearly 8 years he tought that i still wanted to grow old with him! when in hind sight (which is always 20/20) i was raising and treating him as my child. i would "ground" him from going out and drinking but i said foreer and it only lasted a week if i was lucky.

after i left him this time, he would call me, leave medrunk voice mails, and text me over and over until i called. i talked to a social worker friend of mine and she said write everything down, take pics, get all the evidence you can just in case you ever need it.

when he found out i was dating again (nothing serious) he was furious! it was like he was the only one allowed to go out and have fun with whoever doing whatever and i was supposed to stay at home with the kids and not have any life! and because i was moving on i was now some sort of w***e.

in all honesty, i feel horrible because i know thisjust plain out sucks for you! but i feel better too, knowing im not out here alone. (in the fact that they cant shake their ex)

change your number, change phone companies if needed! and dont give out your new number to anyone you think might give it to him. i know this costs money, but can you move?

good luck, keep not answering his calls,texts. and if need be call the cops! because he would try to s***w you the second he got the chance. make sure to make reports if he shows up somewhere and starts a scene or anything.

Answer 5

Change your number and if its possible move from your residence ASAP!

Answer 6

You can't do anything to force him to move on.  You do, however, have control over whether or not you will permit him to call, text, etc.  Have a block put on his telephone number and e-mail address.  That way, he won't even be able to get through to you when he tries.  If he comes to your home or work, tell him once that he is not welcome on your property and ask him to leave.  Don't even open the door for him.  If he refuses to leave or continues to return, call the police and have him escorted from the property.  He's not making this impossible.  You're letting him get by with harassing you.  If you really want him to leave you alone, there are steps you can take to ensure that he does.

Answer 7

Tell him you are calling the cops for harassment.

Answer 8

you are doing the right things, but try blocking him from your phone.

tell him teh only way you wish to communicate is through your lawyer. then block email, phone and text from him.

kudos to you for being so strong willed!

Answer 9

Keep ignoring him and if it does continue then change your phone number.  

Answer 10

what i fail to see is women complain here when they get rid of a guy and they move on and ignore them.....then complain when they dont move on and not leave them alone????? dont you find it odd

that women complain if he moves on or doesnt????

and both times women get backed up by other women...if he moves on its "he doesnt know what he lost" even when you dumped him

if he doesnt move on "hes too clingy, thats harrassment"

what the h**l do you want a guy to do....seems to me no matter what a guy does women will complain

Answer 11

I am in the same exact situation as you are in with your ex husband. My ex husband is always calling me even now that I am re-married and happy. My ex husband forever tells me how he regrets all the things he has done and wished he had his old life back with me. I constantly try to reasure him that he will find someone else, I try to listen to him, be a friend to him, be sympathetic to him and still he continues. It is so frustrating because it is now affecting my marriage with all the calls he makes. I even posted a question here on Yahoos regarding this The advice I got was to assure me that I was entited to my own happiness and by me always talking with my ex it only makes matters worse as it some how some way makes him feel there is still a chance for reconciliation. My guilt over his sadness damped the happiness I have now in my new marriage. I am still trying to deal with this and hope to one day be able to just ignore his crys for help. It is hard because I have always been a person who can empathise with others. I am going to read your responses to see if I can also get any insight on what to do. Good luck to you!