Ex- husband trying to take me to court...Need advice...PLEASE...?

Question

okay...my ex-husband, whom i divorced in 2004, has known since june 2007 that we were moving to kentucky...he was to call my son's grandma in evansville when he wanted to see his girls...he NEVER called nor showed any interest in them...his mother finally got ahold of me in june and asked if she could see the girls during her vacation time...i let her have them for a week...but i told her that this was her visit and that the girls were not to have contact with their dad (they didnt want to see him until he was off drigs and stuff)...so, she had them for a week...

i had no problem with it and even set up a time for her to have them on her christmas vacation...then i was going to illinois and thought i would see if their dad wanted them for the weekend and asked if he would like to start getting them...his girlfriend said yes and i took them up there on fri and let them stay til wednesday...then i took them up there last fri and he refused to bring them home to me on sunday...we were supposed to meet half way and i waited for 2 hrs and he was a no-show...they wouldnt answer the phone when i called or text messages, or when i had others call...

i called illinois police and was told that my exhusband tried to call me and couldnt get ahold of me...said he didnt know where to meet me, but they did know...then a few hours later, the police call me back and tell me that my ex has apparently been doing some research and since i moved out of state, without his consent, that he has no intention of giving them back to me...

i finally called the police at about 10pm sunday night and let them know that i was on my way there to get my girls...on my way, my mother decided to do the same thing...i met her in mt. vernon with my girls...did not get them home until 3:36am...

anyway, now he has filed some sort of "contempt-Order to show cause" that i should probably get in the mail today...

he has known that we lived here for 14 months and he never asked about the kids nor did he even bring up the fact that i moved...he didnt have a problem with anything til now...

what should i do about this OR can i do?

would any of what he is done be considered harrassment??

this is a man that beat me for 9 yrs, then had me arrested on june 13th 2007 for domestic battery/physical contact...when he knew that i was trying to push him out of my face...none of this seems right...please help...

Answer 1

Hey you are guilty but don't plead guilty the Judge is on your side.

Answer 2

my suggestion is to get a lawyer, one that knows how to play dirty and get the job done,  and make what you want legal so that the law will always be on your side if such a thing was to ever come up again.

this lawyer can give you better legal advice than we can on this site, you need to stick to legal procedures to fight this or it could happen again and again,  simply because he is the father.

Answer 3

You really need to get a lawyer.

Your evidence right now is your phone. Hopefully the phone have the "sent" message function. If the date and the message that you sent during those time is still on that phone, then it would prove their statements otherwise.

Answer 4

It appears that this will have to be played out in the courts. being that he has known that you have been out of state for 14 months and has not had any contact with his kids you have a good chance that the courts will side with you

Answer 5

I agree, you need to support their relationship with their father.  Chances are your adult view of him is influencing their view of him whether you have intended for this to happen or not.

I suggest getting a lawyer and working out scheduled visitation...not this willy nilly BS.

Answer 6

These kinds of questions always make me angry because you are wasting time on Yahoo answers. You are in danger of losing your children. Get off the computer and call a lawyer, right now.  

Answer 7

Ha haha My Ex wife is also named Lynne. You need to support the childrens relationship with thier father no matter what. Period.  

Answer 8

I'm sure this is not the whole story, but I'll give you my opinion on what I think regarding what you said..... First, you need to get an attorney. He has every right to see his children regardless of how the two of you feel about each other, but it should be set visitation through the courts. Second, you should have told him that you were moving and made it known through the court system so visitation could be modified to convienence both parents and their new schedules. Last, children need both parents in their life. The two of you need to grow up and think about your kids.  I don't blame you for getting out of an abusive relationship, and moving on with your life, but you chose their father, not them.  As long as he is doing right by them, he should be able to see them.

Answer 9

First please tell me you have a lawyer. If not get one and whatever you do NEVER plead guilty to anything involving domestic violence. thing is i had the same problem with my sons father. he was the abuser but it was i who was arrested. with the help of a good lawyer the charge was dropped. now you need to get every witness you have and every piece of evidence you have showing he is the abuser not you. this will show the jury and judge that you were defending yourself but you must have a lawyer.

next you need to try and get the contempt ordered continued as long as possible in order to give you enough time to deal with the other charge and hopefully have it dismissed. do you have a custody order giving you custody of the kids? you really need the advice of an attorney. you would not be the first person to deal with men like that. what happens is they learn how to use the system against you due to their constant involvement with them. you also need to do a criminal check on him to see if he has any prior convictions you can use against him. get on the ball dont wait.

Answer 10

That's what you get for hunting him down trying to force him to spend time with your girls (yes YOUR girls).  He clearly has no intentions of being a father, but his girlfriend might need your girls to play house.  Stay away from the man, before he kills you and your babies.  

Also, hire a lawyer for your legal troubles.  Yes it'll cost you an arm and leg, but you're buying peace of mind.  Get a loan and be done with it.

Stay away from that man and his family.  His mother raised a good for nothing drug addicted abuser; she's a failure, bad mother and probably a bad grandmother.  

Answer 11

it sound like you originally in Indiana.  I have family in Mt. Vernon Indiana.

Did you file for divorce in Indiana?  In that case Indiana law applies.

In Indiana, you cannot move more than 50 miles without getting the court's permission.  I'm not certain, but I think you can't move out of state, even if that is only 10 miles "across the border" without court permission.

it sound like you did that, and you ARE in contempt of court.  Unfortunately, "ingorance is not bliss".  It IS your responsibility to check all local, state, and national laws before you do anything, and ESPECIALLY anything as critical as moving out of state. You canNOT go into the court and say, "but I didn't know . . . ."

Your ONLY possible defense is that he waited 14 months to file charges. Your argument is that he KNEW when you moved, and if he had any real disagreement with that he should have filed sooner.  Filing now is just a "nuisance suit" design to waste money, frustrate you, upset you children -- and waste the court's time.

Might work, might not.

In ANY event you ARE going to need a lawyer.  If the judge is an SOB, you could end up in jail, and lose custody of your children!  You need to be VERY careful what you say and how you act, so you need a lawyer to guide and coach you through this.

Answer 12

If you have documentation of the history of you and your ex that would be good to take with you. If you can prove that he has not asked about the children or seen the children in the 14 months take that too... the length of time required for "abandonment" varies... most places are a year i think.

Good luck! I would take some friends with you for moral support and maybe even his mother if she would testify against him.  

Answer 13

Your children need a relationship with their parents. Also you need to get a lawyer