Ex husband wants to be friends again. My family wants me back w/him for traditional reasons. Your thoughts?

Question

My husband up and left me last year for no reason and still hasn't given one (and I don't even care to know anymore). Him leaving came out of no where. I was hurt (obviously). I've kind of moved on and I'm happier than I was last year when the divorce first started. Now he wants to be friends and says possibly more one day. I don't want to be with him as a wife anymore. Maybe friends one day, but too early to tell that either.

My family wants me to get back with him because of traditional reasons. What should I say to my family or handle that situation?

Answer 1

Tell your family it's your life and you'll do what you want to.  Tell him, that you might JUST want to be friends one day, but it's too early to tell.

Answer 2

15 years ago my sons father and I split up after a 5 years fight I guess you could say.   3 years ago we touched base together and got back together life is wonderful now he is a different man then back then.

If you have the desire to make it work it can however if you don't it won't...  You will only let you family down again....

Also I would have a serious issue with the fact that there was no explination for his leaving...   This probably means there was another woman and he needs you to fill in til the next one comes along....

Answer 3

Tell him exactly what you said in your question.   I don't want to be a wife anymore but maybe friends one day...it's too early to tell.

As far as the family ...tell them the same thing.  Don't argue about it, don't explain it...just make your statement and be done.

Answer 4

Look at the wonderful answers you are receiving here!  I agree -- stay completely honest with yourself and, of course, with him and your family.  To go back because of his pressure or family expectation to meet societal convention would be wrong.

Stay true to yourself!  

Answer 5

Tell them to back off and mind their own affairs.

He hurt you by running away like some loose teenager.

Continue to be happy and move on.

Good luck.

Answer 6

follow your heart, afterall it is your life

Answer 7

tell them just what you told us:

"I've kind of moved on and I'm happier than I was last year when the divorce first started. Now he wants to be friends and says possibly more one day. I don't want to be with him as a wife anymore. Maybe friends one day, but too early to tell that either"

it is your life not theirs

Answer 8

Tell them this is your life and you will live it the way you want to live it.  

Your husband hurt you badly and you are going to take baby steps just to become friends with him again and that is a big IF.  It is hard to trust somebody who hurt you like that.

Answer 9

tell your family to move in with him

excuse me?? hello they dont have to deal w/ it.  traditional or not, thats a lot of nerve.  yes be the good little submissive woman and take him back even though he abandoned you.

i would never in a million years suggest that to my daughter.

you do whats in YOUR heart, not theirs

Answer 10

It surprises me that your family would want you to be with someone who abandoned you in every way possible. Traditional? There is nothing traditional about what he did. "Traditional" would be  "till death", "through sickness" and "through poverty." One day perhaps you may want to know that reason that he did for some closure and maybe one day.. way down the road.. you guys might be aquaintences. (The type of aquantences that say hi as they pass by in the grocery store). But, I wouldn't really consider being a "Friend". That's my opinion.

Good Luck

Answer 11

Don't make the same mistake again.