Ex is writing hate mail for kids ?

Question

This situation is actually my sisters. She does not have custody of her two girls...her ex does. They are 16 and 13 years of age. Her ex is extremely manipulative to the point of possibly being a narcasist. He does not keep the phone on, so she can not contact her girls. He will bring up any excuse in the world to keep from sending them to her (The live in seperate states). He has schedule surgeries for the girls, extra-curricular actives, and just plane making the girls say they dont want to come....in order to keep from sending them. It has gotten so bad that the only way of communication she has had to her girls was through email. She has suspected that this communication was starting to be guided by him....with her ex telling the girls what to write. She sarted to recieve email stating that they hated her and that they didnt want nothing to do with her. She has even recieved phone calls of them stating that they do not like her and do not want to see her. A mother knows when a child is not being themselves or honest. She has done nothing wrong but try to be in their lives. Recently, the oldest found a way to communicate to her through myspace. She found out through this that her ex was writing all these hate mails and making the girls say these things. They are in fear of there dad that they will get in big trouble if they do not do what he says. This has been a big emotional rollercoaster for my sister. She wants to have custody of her girls, but she does not have money and her ex has lots of it. We all know that is what it boils down to. Please help!!! What kind of recourse does my sister have? How can she help her girls?

Answer 1

She should check around and explain the situation to various lawyers.  Often a lawyer will help with such a situation for less money if they truly believe in the cause.

Answer 2

contact the court and put ina  motion. He is not alloed to do anything that can affect the relationship and staus of an ex wife and she cannot do it either - a court order will ensure she has direc t contact and he will be given one warning for contempt before he could actually lose the kids

Answer 3

Sorry but if these girls are well taken care of, the most their father would ever get is a slap on the wrist and that's WITH proof, by the way what the 16 and 13 year olds have to say would pretty much be the only proof you had and I doubt very much they'd speak against their father.  If the father is keeping the girls from scheduled visitations with their mother, that is a legal matter and she needs to let law enforcement officials know.

Answer 4

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 5

he sounds like a complete b*****d who deserves to burn in h**l, all I can say is I think she should get herself a lawyer or solicitor and get a social worker to talk to her kids to get them to tell them the truth, Im so sorry for your sister I really am, she doesn not deserve to go through all this pain what goes around comes around as they say her husbands time will come and boy will he suffer

hope I helped!

Much love x

Answer 6

i would take legal actions to get those girls in safety have your sis print out the my space talk and bring it to the judge and have the father pay child support

Answer 7

Tell her to call social services and legal aid. Ask them and they can give you a better picture of what to do next.  Chances are he doesnt want her to see the girls out of spite or hes doing something he shouldnt be doing to them.  And when she gets the ex to court the girls are old enough to tell the judge who they want to live with etc.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Get a notebook and start documenting everything that he is doing the things that you can prove. Then when you have gather some hard evidence of his negative behavior and the effect it's having on the kids take him to court and show  the judge that he is an unfit parent and have his rights terminated or at least stop contact or visitation with the father. Good luck.

Answer 9

get custody

Answer 10

All she needs to do is go to a lawyer and tell him whats happening, if she does not have money for one, there are such things as free legal aid.

Answer 11

what it boils down to is a 13 and 16 yr old sending nasty mail and doing a lot of allegations through a networking site dominated by teens.kids this age love to pit parents against each other and they beneifit cuz both parents attempt to buy the affection.if any of these tales are true, hate mail is a serious crime, and in joint custody or visitation issues the gov provides legal representarion at no cost. i think this is missing something and has something added in others. google the last census, and in divorce cases 97% of children under 14 live with the mother, a dad has an iccicles chance in h**l of getting custody even if their is a history of neglect and an issue of poverty on the ladies side. i could hook you up with a law firm that deals with this, but by the time i do, femist reporting trolls will have me delleted.

EDIT: why am i thr only one without a bleeding heart jumping to conclussions daddies evil? read the d**n question. the kids supposedly fear for themselves so can't communicate, but mommy found a way so now encourages her kid to communicate through myspace! don't sound too d**n loving and concerned for their well being to me!

Answer 12

If she can get one message to them..."Tape recorders work miracles!"

They can record their father and the way that he talks about their mother. They can talk to a local policeman about it...here in OK the child has to be 14 years old to decide which parents they want to live with. The 16 year old  should be able to decide which parent they want to live with. The 13 year old I am not sure about, and I am not sure whether it would go by his state, or your sisters, this could be something that you could check into...this would be your best bet. Either way though they need to record the way the way that he talks about her and they could testify that he will not let them see, talk, email their mother. etc. Good luck and God bless you, your sister and the kids.

Answer 13

Your sister has no legal recourse given that a court of law has already decided that she was unfit to receive custody of the children in the first place. However, she might try to have her attorney file a motion with the family court to order supervised visitation, such that she can go and see them... and find out for herself what her children really think of her. I suspect that, even if they tell her to her face that they cannot stand her, she will still deny that these are their real feelings.  Clearly, she is in denial about something. Do you know why the court took the unusual step of awarding the children to the father? Though this is more common these days, the norm is for the mother to receive custody, except in cases where she is found unfit for various reasons.

Good luck.

Answer 14

she needs to take it to court asap.

once a child is of age 13,

they can declare their wishes to change custody to the judge.

as long as your sister is not unfit (no offense intended),

then both children can request a custody change.

Answer 15

if she was granted visitation rights and he is not allowing the visitation, she should contact her attorney. he MUST allow court-authorized visitation.

as far as the e-mails, she needs to talk with her kids about the content, and see if it is their words or his.

Answer 16

Go to court and get a restraining order filed against the ex.

Answer 17

I believe that she needs to pack up and move to the state where her children are located and get a job there. While being there she needs to get a lawyer. She can keep appealing the verdict that they reside with her dad but I don't know that she will ever get it. She may need to keep in contact over myspace and tell them how much she loves them and she wishes she could be with them. When the kids are 16 they then have the right to choose where they stay. Until then, unless you and your family are willing to put money into this and get a lawyer you are screwed. You need to get a lawyer for her by whatever means. He or she will help you get your family back. I suggest you call a lawyer today and explain.

Answer 18

Hi Sorry to hear what is going. That sounds abusive and controlling. He is hurting the children in the end. Try this link and look for a lawyer who deals with abusive parents.

http://www.abanet.org/legalservices/prob... American Bar Association, here you can find local lawyers who do probono work, (low income) and can find a lawyer specifically for abusive relationships with children

Answer 19

first save all the emails she is recieving from the girls good and bad ones. Record the conversations with them when they do call. log all the times she tries to contact the kids and can't. Try to keep in touch with the eldest via email at least until she gets discovered! when she has collected enough proff that this man is cohersing these kids into doing things they normally wouldn't do telll her to call DSS and report that she believes that there is some kind of foul play on the girls that he is munipulatind them into being this way and they are scared to go any other way becasue they are afraid of what the dad might do! At least try anyhow I wish you And ur sister Luck my prayeres are with you both