Ex lying about divorce?

Question

my soon to b ex husband is lying about this divorce thing and i feel like hes makin me into the crazy person he is. this wek he called more than he has since we broke up. he uses our daughter as a reason 2 call. he tells me that he got a divorce lawyer n paid him. 1st he says he got it in my city. now its in his. the prices have changed as well. then everything thats supposed to happen like us takin mandatory classes 4 the divorce he has yet to mention. he said he would pay 4 it now all of a sudden i have to pay 30 percent. im like what..u said u would pay 4 it!!. i just dont get him. is he lying about teh whole divorce thing. oh and he wont give me the # to the divorce lawyer that he supposedly has. he claims that the lawyer is going to send the divorce papers in the mail n the information 4 me to follow to return the divorce papers. im like wat is this..im confused. he calls to speak to my daughter yet she cant talk..whenever i talk to him h**l make promises like hes going to drive n pick her up this and that. it never happens. i dont want him back. i just want to understand his behavior bc he makes it seems like life couldnt b better since we broke up. i kno he has a gf and possibly jugglin other women. he told me like 2 weeks ago he didnt want the divorce but never gave me a reason. he just wants it bc he feels it has to happen. any advice

Answer 1

STOP TALKING TO HIM

You are just playing games with him

If he calls HANG UP.

Settle things in court and stop talking and fighting on the phone....unless you like playing these games

As long as you talk to him, he will keep playing

Answer 2

so, stop the confusion.

He can tell you anything he likes, but until you are served with papers, and go to court.. it is all talk. No papers, it means nothing.  

Start learning what your rights are, and what is going to happen. Google "divorce laws" for your state.  You need a lawyer, so that you don't sign anything that you don't understand or agree to.  If you discuss things with him, it continues to be emotional and guilt tripping.  That is the last thing you want, when you are talking about signing anything.

Right at this time, don't put energy into trying to understand anything about why he is doing this/ that. Your energy is needed to understand the law, and how it will work for or against you. And don't get sucked into explaining things to HIM, either.  Just be polite and tell him that you want to get things settled, which is fair to everyone, and does not put your child in the middle.  

Answer 3

He sounds mixed up.  Divorce papers have to be served by a neutral party, usually a Constable or Deputy Sheriff.  If you get them in the mail, consult an attorney, and protect yourself.  As to the rest it is more confusing then right.

Answer 4

He's trying to upset you and make you miserable, it's a control thing.  Save yourself alot of trouble and go get you a good divorce attorney and while your at it file for full custody, with him having support and visitation.  In many cases if you can't pay lawyer will try to put it in that he has to pay at least 50%.  Also while you are at it you need to get a notbook and keep track of when he calls and says that he is coming to get your daughter, whether or not he shows up, what time he picked her up, when they are supposed to be back, when he actually brought her back, what she was wearing when she left, and how she was when she got home (clothes, diaper, face- dirty).  I know that that sounds like alot and it sounds harsh but you want proof that he is irresponsible in case he tries to pull somthing stupid, divorce can make people stupid, my cousin's ex filed told her that he wanted the kids until she moved into her new place but everytime she called to come see them he always had a reason why she couldn't then the next thing that she knows she is getting papers that he is taking her to court for abandonment and his sister went to court for her because she overheard her brother talking to an adoption agency about taking and adopting the kids out. I tell you divorce make people do stupid things just to hhurt one another.  But anyway he is Lying about having an attorney so you  need to take the upperhand and get your own otherwise he is going to keep doing this to keep you under his thumb and keep messing with your head.