Ex not being consistent with contact with kids?

Question

i posted on this before. he demands his rights to see the kids, then usually on saturdays...following his boozy friday evening..he comes hours late or not at all... today he had promised to take the kids all afternoon for a treat for them..he turned up after 2 pm saying he had only called in for 30 mins. when i insisted he keep his promise to them he grudgingly too k them, but ive now found he gave them to his sister to babysit for an hour before he returned them....i know folks say kids need a father..but this one is blatently not interested if he has something else he wants to do. im stopping visitation until he agrees to stick to his visitation plan ..am i reasonable ?/

Answer 1

It seems like yesterday that a day with my kids following separation was 16 hours long. That was 10 hours of travelling for 6 hours of their company.There is no excuse for your ex partners behaviour. However do go through official channels. Maybe it will help him to see sense. And do write every detail down. One day you may have to explain his absence to your children. No you are not being unreasonable. Kids do need stability even to the point of knowing when or even if Daddy will visit.

Good luck.

Answer 2

ah! wots you needs is a good mans an loover likes me!..xxxxx

Answer 3

I would be SO pissed if my ex dropped the kids off with the sitter.  He obviously is taking his visitation for granted.  You are in the right.

Answer 4

If you can talk about a sore matter such as this, without raising your voice in anger, Then you are discussing it as an adult.

Him not spending time with his kids, is cruel. Getting their hopes up and then shattering them by not keeping his word. Teaches the child to do this. This is not a good role model to have.

I'm in total agreement with you.

Until he can keep his promises to his children then he shouldn't be allowed to see them,

Answer 5

Do you have a visitation schedule through the court? If you have one, I'd have it modified to say if he doesn't show up within 30-60 minutes of the appointed time, then he forfeits his visit.

That said, I'd have the kids ready and have activities planned around the house in case he actually shows up. I WOULD NOT tell them he's suppose to pick them up. If he's told them he'd show up and is not there 30-60 minutes past the appointed time, I'd say something like, "Daddy may not make it today...what do you want to do?" The kids will get it after he doesn't show up after several no shows. Be sure to reassure them it's nothing they've done.

Of course document all of this for court purposes, but quite frankly, how long are you and your children suppose to be held hostage by his power plays and foolishness?

Answer 6

i think he needs a reality check. i know from experience that no father at all is better than a father who breaks their childs heart. soon your kids will start to realise that he is letting them down and it will break your heart to watch. children need consistence, its all they know at an early age. tell him he either bucks his ideas up or he wont be seeing them at all, and trust me, your children will be much happier this way. good luck xx

Answer 7

Your duty is to your children's well being and this dork of a man obviously is lacking in that department.  I'd withhold visitation for a month.  Tell him why he can't see them and then when he can.  Tell him that if he acts up the same way again you'll with hold the kids for 3 months and try it again.  If he messes up again, three strikes and he's out.  Let him take you to court to deal with it.  Your kids have been hurt enough by this idiot.

Answer 8

You are being reasonable!  Maybe taking the kids away will make him re-assess and get his c**p together.  My husband would NEVER get away with this.  Whip him into shape, girl.  You have more power than you know.