Ex sent to boarding school? (long storyy)

Question

i had a boyfriend with a lot of problems. he cut himself, he cried a lot, very depressed. he always said he was going to kill himself and tried it a couple times.. i tried to help him and we were going out for almost a year, but he started getting mean with me over time, emotionally abusing me. and then he started pushing and grabbing me. he hurt me so much and i couldn't deal with all his problems, it was stressing me out because he got worse and worse so i dumped him. i loved him even though he had A LOT of problems but i didn't want to deal with it anymore. he always pushed me away and we were on and off a lot because of all his issues.

i cut off all contact with him and like two weeks ago he called me crying from lifetime saying that his parents "beat him up" and he needed a place to go. i said no because i KNOW his parents and i know they wouldn't do that. it was a cry for attention. a couple hours later the police called me looking for him, and i told them who he was with. he ran away from home a lot so this wasn't the first time.

i called his mom and talked to her about it.

well it was a lie of course. i know he has a lot of problems, and he was becoming a danger to himself and others. his mom sent him to a "troubled teen" boarding school last week for teens who are suffering and need to get their lives together.

he really needed some help. i don't know when he will be back, nobody does.

but i REALLY miss him despite everything. i tried to get into another relationship but i couldn't because i still think about my ex a lot, how he is doing, and how much i miss him.

they won't let him out of the school or "graduate" until they know he has changed. nobody can write him letters, e-mail him, or visit him unless its his parents. not even his siblings can contact him. they don't want him to be "distracted" from himself.

should i wait for him to come back or just forget about it.

do you think he will actually be changed?

Answer 1

sweetie yall arent together forget about it until he comes back go out there and get yourself a new guy u dont need him to be happy when he comes back and if ur not with someone see if he has really changed and if he has ask him out on a date and see how it goes  play it by ear and tell me if anything else comes up hope for the best

                                 love a helpful person named jennifer

Answer 2

ouch. thats a hard place to be in! but ya know, it seems like you did a good job helping him while you could and he was home, so for now theres not much else that you can do.

when he comes back, yes, he probably will be changed. But the problem is, so will you. If you wait for him to come back, which could be a verry long time, youll just be miserable until then, and if he comes back not changed youve been waiting for nothing.

It would probably be best to try for someone else, if nothing else just until he comes back. but dont think of them as a replacement, cause that sucks too. just try to get into another relationship again... i dont think you should wait for him. thats never a great idea.

Answer 3

forget about it.

if you have not forgotten about him, it's either because you don't want to(stuck in the past), or still love him(will fade in time if YOU LET IT).

hon, it's always nice to get back with an ex. the security, familiarity ect. but what if he doesn't change. are you willing to waste your life trying to make him happy? you only live once and i KNOW how we girls get, we just give give give and never take so please do not willingly place yourself into that corner.

Answer 4

Forget about it.  It's a done deal.  Focus on you and what you want for your life - your goals - and go for it!

Answer 5

you could ask his parents to tell him that youre glad hes getting better when they talk to him, that might motivate him to change. But until he avtually gest back from school, dont worry too much about it.. becausae then you will just get stressed out.

Answer 6

You seem to be very young. I would not suggest forgetting about it but maybe take you life in a forward direction. You do not need to put your life on hold. You can still be friends with him when he comes home and see where it goes from there.

Answer 7

[  ]wait for him

[X]forget about it

Answer 8

I dont think any of us can guess if he will change or not. It's really up to him an if he chooses to get his life together. As far as waiting for him .. I suggest you keep him in your thoughts , an When he gets out , see what he has done for himself , an make your decision from there, But dont put your life on hold, cause you dont know what will happen or who might pass you by.  

Answer 9

what a weak man! pitiful he acts like a girl! forget abot him! he will change but it will probably be bad change! just like if obama is elected!!!!! every chance i get to critisize obama  i get ill use it

Answer 10

A person can be helped and change but only when they are ready to accept that they need help and want to change - otherwise to force a person to change will be very difficult.  I understand your position, as much as you love him you are wise enough to know that you can't help him at the moment and he was harming you in the process - you knew when to let go even though it hurt.

as for a new relationship - I think you need time to get over this one before  dating again.

I hope things work out.

Answer 11

Wow, first of all I congratulate you for sticking with him for a long time, when most would've given up. I'm sure he will thank you for this in the future.  In terms of waiting for him, he has a lot of emotional problems and he has obviously affected you, a lot of people have these problems for a long time or if they seem to be "away" they can easily pop back up again.  I think you should steer clear of him until he "graduates" or is more stable for your sake and his, if you were to get back together and then it didn't work out and he was still a little troubled, he might go right back into what he used to be.  Try other relationships, or if that doesn't work out, just be single for a while.  Assess him when he gets back, and if its worth it, get back together...you guys obviously have a very deep connection.

Good Luck

Answer 12

Idk much about those types of boarding schools, but it doesn't make sense that only parents could contact him....  You would think they would want as many family/friends as possible to write/visit/call to show him how many people really do care about him.  I'm wondering if you talk to his parents that maybe they can sign some sort of release form to have him leave the school, and maybe switch to one in which anybody can contact him????  This school seems a little suspect to me....

On the other hand it's great to see that you really do care about him, and it sounds like he really does need you too (as a friend, not a girlfriend).  However, I think you should try to find other hobbies and stuff to help keep your mind off of him a little....  Not that there's anything wrong with you caring about him and stuff, that's great.... But you gotta take care of yourself also.... Don't let him bring you down with him....  Take care of yourself first, but make sure he knows your available to him too.... I think it's great that an ex-girlfriend still cares as much as you do.... Good luck and I hope everything goes well

Answer 13

Don't wait around for him. He probably will change...but so will you. Enjoy life and if he comes backs and he is fine, be friends. But for now date others you'll see that there are other dudes that will treat you better.