Ex wants to introduce new girlfriend to our kids?

Question

I live in the UK.

My ex husband and I split up less than three weeks ago. He has seen the kids a few times since then, once he took them out for the day.

The thing is he wants to introduce his new girlfriend to them, but I am not happy about that. I haven't told him that yet.

I don't know anything about this woman, except she destroyed our marriage, she could be any one.

I also think it is far too soon in their relationship. they could still split up, and then the kids would be introduced to someone else.

Plus my son has special needs, he has mood swings, acts a lot younger than he actually is, and also smears. He is very vulnerable. How will she react to him if he smears at her home, or has a major mood?

I have a lawyer, though I am waiting on some information before she can work on the case properly, I am divorcing him.

What can I do? Can I stop him introducing her? I don't think he will take it to well if I tell him how I feel.

Answer 1

He has every right to introduce her to them, hopefully as he knows the situation he will tread carefully.  You could mention to your son that daddy is seeing someone else.  Children adjust very well to change much better than adults.  My children were older and they found it harder to deal with, but my stepson was only 18months when I met him and he has been with us ever since and copes well.

Try and get to know the new gf as hard as that may be.

Good luck

Answer 2

Definatly no. It is confusing enough to the kids. They know you are having marriage troubles.

Answer 3

It sounds like it is way too soon to provide shock therapy to your kids...3 weeks split now he wants to show the kids his new mommy? OMG...he's brutal. What an a$$hole! I think you need his gf to stay away for awhile...maybe until the separation gets recognized legally and  maybe divorce papers are drawn up. Take care sweetie! Hope you find a way to be happy!

Answer 4

I would have been with you till you mentioned "SHE DESTROYED YOUR MARRIAGE," it's possible but every woman says this so I'm not really inclined to believe you... that made you sound bitter and just trying to mess with him and his new woman. The kids are going to find out anyway if they get serious and if she really did ruin your marriage and he left you for her then maybe they are serious...

You don't need the kids to know the details, but they will find out... and I advise you to not talk down on the woman to the kids  becuase it will be you that loses in the end... trust me... don't be a bitter sh** talker, get over it and move on and keep your dignity.

Your kids will get sick of hearing  about your negative opinions of her and dad... and if and when they are old enough they may very well get fed up with your constant bickering that they go and move in with them... so just chill... things are what they are... no reason to complicate them...

I'm also not inclined to believe your entire story because women over exaggerate when they are vulnerable and P.O'd.

Answer 5

no no no no do not let him introduce kids to her. There is a identity crisis what do they call her Marry(what ever her name it), aunt, daddy's personal trainer? Kids don't understand the role of his girlfriend in his life or theirs and it's unfair to ask them to.

I don't live in the UK so I don't know how your laws work at this. In the U.S. I would get a social worker and tell them the situation and tell them you don't think your ex is putting his kids special needs first. Say all you want is a healthy environment for your kids and you husband does not share the same views. Stay in contact with the social worker get involved and good luck.

good luck..

Answer 6

Hello Jacquera,

I am Arun kulkarni, I am from India. I am Hindu, a traditional Hindu Brahmin.I am of 62 years age. A quite old man. Now I have gone through your case. I felt very sad about it. In Hindu religion, the marraige is some thing like a bondage of not only this birth but for anather coming Seven births. Ok that is not the question , Question is what you should do in this situation, Yes ! Jacquera tell me one thing "Who has asked for divorce ? Wether you or your husband?.If you have ask for divorse then you don't have any right to ask him what he does. But if he has ask for the divorse then oppse him for taking him your kids to other ladies,perticurly one who is responsible for breaking your marraige. Oppose him for doing this. Jacques  try not to stay apart from him . Try to convience him that you are the only girl will look after him during his good and bad days. You are the only girl in this world will do this and not any other girl in this world.If you convince this then ,I think you will solve your problem once and for all.

God Bless You,

Arun.

Answer 7

NO! NO! NO! It is way too soon after your separation for your ex to introduce a new girlfriend. Of course it is too soon in the relationship for the children to meet her, your ex should allow you meet her first and then let you make the decision. Talk to your ex, if that is an option, and tell him how you feel about it. Ask your lawyer if there is any way you can stop him from introducing the children to her. It really is not in their best interest.

Answer 8

doesnt life go on 4 him? & 4 your son, if she cant handle the way your boy is, your ex needs to deal w/that.

Answer 9

In my opinion it is way too soon. Who knows how things will pan out for her and your husband. This happened to me too. My husband left me for someone else, the very next day without my knowledge or consent he introduced them to her. They came home very quiet and confused and broken down. So, three weeks later they split up!! He came home and we tried to repair the damage. Too late, the damage was done, we'd be sitting down at a meal and one of the kids would pipe up 'daddy, when you lived with *****' etc. We are no longer together and my daughter wets the bed on a regular basis. He needs to let the kids get used to the separation first before he throws another party into the mix! His priority should be their needs, not trying to act like everything is the same and you and the b**** are interchangeable. Also he needs to be sure that his relationship with her is for real because the kids will remember her long after he's trying to kick over the traces of what he's done.