Excitable house staff?

Question

This morning, at a little before 1AM, Hopkins, my butler, burst into my room in a rather flustered state, roused me from my slumber and then spent the best of 5 minutes babbling on about an 'earthquake'.

Now earthquake or no, that is not the manner in which an Englishman behaves under any circumstance and to correct him I had him thrashed.

Does anyone know of a permanent solution to this sort of outrageous behaviour from one's servants?

Answer 1

Well I be damed, the butler behavioured in that fashion?

Since falling on hard times I no longer have a butler, just Biggins my man servant.

This morning we observed the Non Natives crowding the street as if all h**l had broken loose!

d**n forigners

Answer 2

that's disgraceful, I suggest sending him to Paul Burrell bootcamp for two weeks, that will sort him out

Answer 3

come now old chap, he is your butler and you shouldn't allow for such proposterous behaviour! have him scrub a big board that you have placed on top of a bed while the gardener and the stable boy bounce around. make it second nature and have one of the maids remind him how he should behave in such rare circumstances! do not let him go unpunished and make sure he jolly well learns his lesson!

best of luck to you

Answer 4

Send him to the colonies to repent his sins.

Answer 5

I say old boy, starch his upper lip I do it to all my servants. By the way do you allow fuzzy wuzzys to camp on your estate?.....

Answer 6

You must be that Beauville guy. Your questions are getting old.

Answer 7

You thrashed to within an inch of his life, I trust.

I would make him write 1000 times a day for a month "The British Empire was not ruled by such lily livered whimps"