Exhusband question??

Question

I have settled into a city that has offered me a decent life and i am remarried to the most wonderful man on the face of this earth. But, there is a dark cloud over my head, leaving me questioning my future. I have recently learned that my ex husband lives right down the road from me and that he works at the local super marker where i shop. I haven't crossed paths with him"yet." I might of crossed paths with him and wasn't aware of it. Anyways he and i left on bad terms and i hate him. I don't hate many people but i do hate him and don't care to ever see him or hear his name again. My worst night mare has come true and why can't he live in the hundrends of thousands of other cities in america. I don;'t want to move, but i think i am giong to because the thought of him even being in the same city makes me seeth under the collar. We have taken our own paths, but i know he is a trouble maker and i won't be his puppet a gain, even if i accidently run into him. Any suggestions on how i can calm my fears of running into him before i move? I shop out of town, won't go any where with out my new husband, won't stay alone by myself, won't work by myself (self employed) because i don't feel safe. It has taken me to many years to get passed what my ex did to me and shattered my dreams. This is haunting me and sending shivers up my spine. He isn't a threat to me because i am not scared of him, i just have put the past to rest and don't care to resurface it.

Answer 1

sounds like a issue for therapy,

you cannot let the ex rule your life !

Answer 2

Amy, we were never married.  We only dated for a while.  Stop coming into my workplace and acting crazy.  Just leave me the h**l alone, I am much happier without you in my life.

Answer 3

You have a new last name now and a new life there.  If it has been a long time he might not even be sure it is you.  If you hear him call your name, don't turn around.  He will figure he was mistaken.  Chances are that he is remarried too and may not want to speak with you either.  If so, you are fine where you are.  But only you have that answer.

Answer 4

ok, so move.

Answer 5

Sorry, but you haven't gotten past it.  If you had, this wouldn't be a question.  Let it go for your own sanity.  The only drama in this situation is the drama you're creating for yourself.  If you can't move past it and are still so obviously distressed, you need to do your current man and yourself a favor and seek therapy.  It will help to have an objective person to listen to your thoughts and fears, then offer constructive guidance.  As long as you hold on to your bitterness and hatred, you will never get over this.

Answer 6

Its obvious you haven't put the past to rest or you wouldn't be living your life like a prisoner. The fact that you are scared to be alone and aren't even able to work alone is an example of unresolved issues. Lets hope this doesn't eventually put a strain on your current marriage. I would suggest counseling to help you heal and deal with your issues. Also since you aren't ready to face him continue to shop elsewhere. Remember, others cannot have control over you unless you allow them too. Avoidance is rarely the answer, sometimes facing your demons is the best way to regain control.