Expectations? What are Yours?

Question

Expectations lead to disappointment, so expect nothing and you will never be disappointed! An officer in the Air Force shared this wisdom with me in my early years of service. This seemed like good advice at the time and I honestly tried to apply it. The difficulty, at least for me, was that I did have high standards of the world around me and I felt that leaving expectations on the back burner was lowering my own standards in life. I realized that the challenge for many of us is not in the expectations we have of others, but instead it is with the expectations we have of ourselves. We often do not meet our own criteria and then we spend our lives beating ourselves to bits because we do not measure up.

Where are you trying to meet your own standards and falling short?

Answer 1

Mine are 'Great'.  ;)

Answer 2

dont expect or assume

but still HOPE

Answer 3

Air Force, eh?  In the Army we had, "Expect the best, plan for the worst."  And "No plan at all is a plan to fail."

I don't really view myself as falling short of my standards or expectations.  I view it more as a not having met my standards or expectations yet.  I guess that's a small and major difference at the same time.  I certainly won't beat myself up about something, though.  And at the moment I'm actually pretty content with stuff as it is.  I feel better now.  Thanks.

Answer 4

most often it is in areas of academia that i fall short in. not that i'm lacking in brain power or stupid or anything, but i set goals that are too unrealistic and something that i know i catn achieve, but i always think that even if i do fail, at least i can see how far off i was from actually achieving. this mentallity has never worked to my desired effect and in the end, i always feel like im stupid or underachieving.

it dosnt help either when your parents or somebody else thinks that your better than what you're already achieving so then you try to impress them by attempting and then when you s***w up you end up embarrasing your self.......that kills me

Answer 5

i never really knew how much expectations i fall short on until somebody told me. i know that i do good at school but i wasn't in the honor roll. i didn't join contests, sports or any extra curricular activities. i was just contented with how trouble-free my college life is and how i can sleep peacefully at night without worrying on what to do on tomorrows' activity. i was good academically but i never really tried to lead though my professors said i would have made a good leader. they never told me those stuffs when i was still in college, said they were expecting that i would come to my senses anytime and be more active, but i didn't. after college, they said they were disappointed. i could have been this, i could have been that... well, i certainly have been a good follower if not a good leader... hahahaha!!

Answer 6

That's one way to look at it but personally I see it as without expectations then there are no goals, and without goals there are no dreams, and without dreams there is no imagination, without inmagination there isn't any hope, without hope there is no faith, without faith, there is no love, and without love life is hardly worth living.

I have expectations of myself and it allows me to experience all these things. So to me expectations are nessassary in order to be happy.

Answer 7

Mine is not being able to meet one simple goal: Publish my own book.

Time and again, I've had so many setbacks over the last decade--and every time I get *close* to my goal, something always throws an impassable obstacle in my way and I have to deep-six my goals and start over again.

Like right now, my wife and I are on the verge of being homeless not because we didn't try hard enough, but because outside forces have dictated that we cannot stay at the place we called home for the last 10 years.

Because of this problem, I've been forced to call off my publishing date for one of my books because I don't honestly know when I'll be able to get back online--or even gain another place to live in; even if it is temporary.

The problem is that I'm on limited income and have a life-threatening disability. If either one of us goes back to work, my medical gets terminated and thus my life is placed in grave danger.

Because of the nature of the problem, my lifespan will only be measured in weeks, not months--and whatever happens next will not be the most pleasant of experiences.

And most jobs where I live don't provide adequate health coverage. Nor will they provide me with a safe working environment to prevent even the most accidental of injuries to myself.

As a consequence, I have to sacrifice my job prospects because I honestly don't think I'm capable of carrying out any assigned tasks without incurring injury to myself in the long run.

I desperately want myself and my wife to work again--to provide a semblance of a life for ourselves, but this problem of mine is a hurdle that neither one of us has been able to successfully overcome.

Just manage with drugs and careful monitoring.

So what I had been planning out is publishing my own books. I mean, since the mainstream has no interest in what I write, I figured, "Why not do it myself?"

Sure, I'm spending my own limited income on what I want the most, but it's a dream I desperately believe in. It's the only thing I have left.

However, facing the spectre of becoming homeless in the next six weeks has forced me to re-evaluate my own dreams.

It'll put a severe crimp on what I want to do and it may delay me for some years--but I have no choice in the matter:

I have to finish what I started.

I just don't know how to yet in the face of this crisis. I have pen and paper to continue, but what I really have been wanting is a low-end laptop. Something that can function as a word-processor in case of an emergency where I don't have access to a desktop PC.

Or until I can get back on my feet.

But as I said, my limited income has been preventing me from even realizing that small part of my dream.

Honestly, I don't care about being homeless to some degree. I would gladly do so, but I would like to take my work with me wherever I go.

My wife knows this too--as she has been very supportive in my writing endeavors.

But she knows the hard road I have ahead of me--to accomplishing my dreams.

And that's where I am always failing:

1) Because of either my limited incomes from either my jobs or my disability checks.

2) Instances, Incidences, or Forces outside of my control which has a direct impact on my life.

3) Severely limited resources on which to rely on or even start over.

Yes, I've aspired to better myself and done everything I can to get over some of life's obstacles and even learned to *live* with my disabilities to some degree (as I have more than one), but I'm not fully immune to life's little setbacks.

Unlike most people whom can recover easily, for me it's *years* away at best. And even when I'm in a better situation, I'm still trying to heal from my previous, painful losses.

I cannot--as I told my mother repeatedly--keep starting over because life is never fair. I did it once--for her--but I cannot do it again.

I don't have the money to.

And despite my impoverished situation, I'm always finding ways to keep my chin up--even for just a little while.

Yes, things are bad now, but I know that one of these days, they won't be. But that *day* is never clear for me.

Nor do I know if it'll still be there when I get there.

Y'know?