Experience or opinions about interracial adoption?

Question

I would like to adopt one day and for me, any child of any race would be fine, but I think it's important to take into account how a child of a different race than the parent feels. Have any of you experienced this and what have your experiences been?

Answer 1

Any couple that would make good parents, and are able to give their child a loving home, should be allowed to be parents.

Answer 2

How your child may or may not feel about being part of an interracial family depdends on several things:

1.  YOUR attitude and how you demonstrate that attitude.

2.  The climate of acceptance in his immediate family.

3.  The climate of acceptance in his neighborhood/community.

4.  The number of opportunities you provide your child to see himself/his race reflected in positive ways.

5.  The child's individual personality.

Answer 3

I think it's just fine. All children if treated like they are your own should do just fine! I think it's not too different than having a bi-racial baby because most likely they look completely different from both parents.

My cousin is mixed with black and white, her mother is black and that's the person she spends most time with. Her skin is fair, and her mother told me she asked why is her skin different from hers.

I think that besides questions of why they look from you that may come up that adopting a child of a different race is perfectly fine. :D

Answer 4

I was actually adopted from Korea when I was about 4 months old.  Because I was a baby and because I was adopted into a caring, nurturing, loving environment, I acclimated just fine.  I never really thought too much about the fact that my brother and I are Korean and my parents and surrounding family are Caucasian.  I think the thing I noticed the most when I was younger was the fact that I was in enrolled in schools where the kids were predominantly white, but I never had any issues in making friendships.  Hope that helps :)

Answer 5

Whatever you decide to do just be aware that any child you adopt will have a natural curiosity about their heritage and how it differs from yours.  Be sensitive, raise your child with an awareness of their culture by blood as well as the family culture that you are trying to share with them.

This is true no matter from what ethnic backgroud your child descends from or how like or different from you they may look.

Answer 6

its tough...because the child will be reared into a different environment.

Answer 7

My friend adopted 3 children from china, after her three kids were raised.  She takes them to a yearly get together with other adopted children, and lets them chum with other china adoptees, they are adorable, good luck to you!

Answer 8

I had a neighbor in elementary school who took in a foster child of another race and ended up adopting him.  The boy was occasionally teased at school, but not very much and he handled it well.  He grew up happy and healthy, and last I heard, he joined the Navy.  The lady who adopted him brought him up in her own culture, but made a point to teach him about his own.  I see no problem whatsoever with interracial adoptions as long as the parents acknowledge the difference and give the child a chance to explore the culture of his biological family.  Even if they don't take that chance, they deserve the opportunity.  There are thousands of children out there who need a home, and in some cases the only way to get it for them is to place them with a family of another race.  If it was your child, would you rather put them in a household with another race, or take the chance on them not having a home at all?

Answer 9

my son who is 11 is multiracial and my huband and I and the rest of the family are caucasian. My son was all set to write his own answer (I showed him the question and i was glad that he was intrigued and interested) and then he got distracted by normal 11 year old boy summer time stuff. So he told me to write that you should do it and it will be fine. I really wanted him to write himself -- so you could get his opinion and, more selfishly, so I could see what he would have really written. He is actually an excellent writer and can express himself beautifully in poetry. Anyway, his race is not an "issue" at all in our family, for us. It is difficult for me to say if it's an "issue" for him. All my thoughts and feelings point toward it not mattering to him in the slightest. But, I know that as the white person in this situation, I have really no clue what it's like to be the black kid in school who just happens to have white parents. All the professionals tell me he will go through a so-called identity crisis and it will be of the more major kind because of his adoption and the racial differences. I am waiting and hoping and have been heeding the advice of everyone whom I respect.

There is no question that loving your child is what really matters. But, that is not the issue at all. One thing I was told before we adopted was that it is easier for a kid who is not "obviously adopted" to deal with the whole adoption thing because they get to deal with it in their own way and time -- and it doesn't always stare them in the face. Everyone in the world knows that my son is adopted when they meet his family. Whether he wants to have them know it or not and whether he wants to talk about it or not, you can be sure that "they" are all talking about it.

It is also really important to consider your extended family and the area where you live. We live in a somewhat average suburban community but, considering it is a suburban community there is a fair amount of diversity here. My son is not the only black kid in his class. It would be much harder for him if he were. He does not stand out. And I purposely looked for a summer camp for him where he would not be known as "the black kid."

In the adoption world today, there are a lot of Asian kids being abdopted by Caucasian families and I think (depending on your community as well) this is common enough that these kids may be able to develop a "community" of their own. I don't thinkthis holds true for my son. For instance, many people ask what country he was adopted from. Well, he was adopted from Lousiana and he is American just like the people who ask the question!

As I tried to say earlier, you also need to think about how your extended family will feel and act. When the subject of race came up with a close friend, for instance, his reaction was -- "Yea, he's black. He's really cute THOUGH." I didn't have a clue how to react to that.

Good luck!!

Answer 10

I am an adoptive parent and my son is of a different ethnitisity than myself.  I feel giving a child a home that is loving and allows them to strive is the most important thing.  I also feel it is important to raise them knowing as much of their cultrure as possible.

Answer 11

I have an adopted child of another race. The child always known they were adopted and a different race. but we were their parents and they were our child. While some people will always hate some one because of race, we had very little problems. The child was taught from day one that the were not any better or any worse than any one else, and to be proud of what they were. While you only are out with the child shopping or whatever, strangers will think you are married to some one of that race. I usually just smiled. A lot of time when some stranger learned about the adoption they would ask questions and I enjoyed answering the questions for them. The child is now married and has a good job in which they have moved up in the company very fast. Would I adopt this child again.. you can bet I would, but just forget about the adopt... they are my child. There are a lot of things I could say, but maybe this will give you some insight of what it is like.

Answer 12

I simply believe give a child who is in the most in need a family , hope and a better life.

Answer 13

i don't think race matters unless you raise that child to think race matters (if she/he is small)

i would think any child without a family wouldnt care about what race/ethnicity her/his parents are as long as they are understanding, caring, loving, and supporting...

the only problem would be if you do not respect each other's cultures

Answer 14

i agree that the race of a child isnt important as long as you love them as your own.in todays society i dont think its that big of deal small children who are the same race as their parents may have questions but it shouldnt cause problems.the child will know they are loved very much and to your child it wont make any difference because you take care of them and love them and they will know that because to them its not weird or different that is their family and they are happy there.

Answer 15

I adopted  baby from China. My husband and I love her very much. She is the sunshine of our day. However, there are many things people won't tell you about intercountry adption. The child grieves on and off for a long time. There is always the question about why her birth family abandoned her, where they live, what  they look like, does she have sibilings? And every holiday is chnaged by thinking about the babies left behind.

Adopting is a wonderful blessing, but not for the faint of heart. If it's in your character to do it, go for it, but prepare your self emotionally!

Answer 16

It is important to take into consideration your surroundings and your own background.

For example, if you live in a mostly white community and adopt an Asian child, they will one day go through what is called an 'identity crisis' they will realize they are different from you and their peers will realize the child is different from their parents as well.

children can be cruel sometimes. They will point out the obvious difference.

Choosing a child that looks similar to your race is probably the easiest.

No matter what race, as long as you are a very loving person then the child will be fine :)

One more thing, it's always best to teach the child about their ethnic background as well. So they have a sence of their own identity also.

Best of luck

Answer 17

I was adopted out of my race and it did not work out. Either you are a slave or something to show the neighbors.

Answer 18

My wife and I adopted a little girl from India.  She is 17 now.  She was 3.5 when we adopted her.  Her parents had abandoned her because she came down with Polio.  Today she walks with a brace and will need a brace all of her life.  We have three biological sons, 25, 24, and 21.  They love and hate each other just like any brothers and sister would.  They also step up for each other when necessary.  I don't think our experience has been a bad one for us or our daughter.  She obviously knows she is adopted and she knows the likelihood of ever finding her birth parents is zippo.  We are white and she is quite dark skinned.  Almost all her friends are white and she likes both white and dark skinned guys.  She is kind, loving caring and very sensitive.  Sometimes she wonders about herself, her parents, her mom and we can tell she's having a hard time finding her place in our home, school, etc.  But that's part of life.  Adopting is something you can never really prepare for because you never know how the child's personality will develop.  I guess, trust your heart and do what seems right to you.    [e-mail] if you have any questions about our experiences.

Answer 19

Its all about how the child is raised. If they are tought that they arent any different than you, then they wont feel different. They might know their looks are different but their emotions wont change. Now thats not meaning that they cant be culturally educated about their ancestry.  I encourage adoption of any race no matter what the parents are because when it boils down to it, its about giving the child a home filled with love.

Answer 20

A friend of mine was adopted from Korea as an infant into a caucasian family with 2 older and 2 younger very Irish-looking biological daughters. Of course his family loves him, but they never really addressed the fact that he was Korean other than to draw attention to it when they'd encounter other white couples with asian babies and walk up to them with him (even now that he's an adult) to compare timelines and costs. Even with all the love, my friend grew up feeling isolated because he KNEW he was different and everybody seemed like they were either not noticing it or pretending not to see it. When he finally got to college and met other people from Korea (citizens and adoptees), it did him a world of good to see that he had actually come from real human beings with traditions and national characteristics. Up until that point, I think he felt more like he'd been hatched in a field in the middle of nowhere, never truly a part of anyone in the human race. His parents are wonderful, tolerant people who certainly never cut on Korea, but they never taught him anything about it at all (or incorporated any part of Korea into the lives of their biological children), and I think that they might have been able to spare him from decades of counseling if they had.

Answer 21

As long as the child is going to a home where he or she,  will be well taken care of and loved.   Is and should be the most important things considered when adopting.