Experience with Crying it out?

Question

Does this work my son is 9 months old and fights and cries when it time for nap or sleep time I am sure he does not want anything else he just fights sleep andcriess. Will letting him cry it out work? Please if you don't know the answer from PERSONAL experience then don't answer. I am not looking for people to tell me what's right or wrong I just want to know if it worked or did not work for you and why. PLEASE no lectures and soap box stories not really looking for a debate here people get so righteous on these topics. I'm a 1st time mom and 16 weeks preg. with baby #2 what I am doing is not working so I'm just trying to find something that will.

Answer 1

We used the 'controlled crying' method with our eldest when he was 8 mths.  He 's now nearly 4.  It was heartbreaking but it worked in a few nights and that was it.  Basically you settle them down in their cot and leave, then when they start crying you leave them for 2 mins, go in and pick them up, when they've settled, then you put them back down and leave the room again.  When they start crying again leave them for 3 mins and then repeat (2,3,5,7,9 etc).

Like I said, it worked brilliantly for us and we now have a gorgeous almost 4 yr old who once his bums in bed doesn't get out again till the morning.  He's such a good boy.

We won't be using either the CIO or CC method with our baby daughter who's 7 mths old though.

Answer 2

The Irish say it means he has a fighting spirit, he's strong. In the old country we would whiskey babies gums for teething and to stop the crying although in the states this is considered child abuse (although I turned out fine)

OK, heres what I do

1 I would hold my son and fall asleep in the lazy-boy in the nursery every night.

2  Riding in the car for an hour works wonders on those really fussy nights.

3 Walking around WHILE feeding

Just remember although it may seem overwhelming at times there is nothing more fullfilling than seeing your toddler  tumbling around in yard

Good luck to you mammie!!

Answer 3

I am a first time mom as well, and have let my daughter (almost 6 mo)cry it out. She fights going to sleep at all costs, so when I know it's time for her to nap (usually about 1-2 hrs after her feeding, I'll put her in her crib. Sometimes, she hardly fusses; other times, she wails for 15 minutes or so. I've tried both crying it out and coming back every few minutes to pat her back, talk to her, etc., but found that coming back just extends the crying period significantly (she stops, then cries again when I leave).

If you try crying it out, just make sure that's he's comfortable first (diaper is changed, dressed comforably, room is not too warm/cold etc.) and check in on your son every few minutes to make sure he's ok. Good luck!

Answer 4

Ach.

I really don't understand this "I've tried everything except listening to my baby, should I turn to neglect?" mentality.

If your son is crying and fighting sleep - then either that is NOT how he wants to go to sleep, or he is not tired - try listening to what he's trying to tell you.

Try singing to him, try cuddling to him, try putting him in a sling, try rocking him, try reading to him, try laying down on your bed with him, try sitting down on the couch with him in your arms -- the list go's on, you don't have to immediately turn to neglect when he doesn't want to sleep.

Answer 5

Letting your baby cry it out will work! I have done it with both of my kids. When I had my oldest son (4yrs now). I was new to everything and like you, pregnant at the same time, but I had lots of help from my mom. I finally got to the stage where he would fight his sleep all the time and I was so frustrated and worn out. My mom told me that I needed to lay him down and jus let him cry. I thought she was crazy, but she was right. They cry because they know you will be right there and will do anything to get them to stop crying lol. It'll hurt you more than them, but letting him cry himself to sleep is your best option and eventually he will get used to falling asleep on his own ;)   It will be very hard when you first start to do this with him, but you have to ignore his crys. Turn on the radio so you can block his crying a little,or else it will probably get to you and you won't follow through with it.

Answer 6

i've done it with my 8 month old. he would not sleep for anything. he had gotten to where he would cry and when id pick him up he thought it was play time. what we did was we madde sure he wasnt hungry, wet, etc. we turned his cd on that he sleeps with (baby einstein lullabies) gave him his huggy balnket, kissed him and said goodnight then walked out.he cried for 2 minutes, then id check him, he cried for another 3-4 minutes, i'd check him, so on and so on. i didnt let him cry for more than 5 minutes. he was asleep by 15 minutes. i didnt pick him up at all, i just patted his butt and shushed . it took a couple of days to work, but ever since then he has fallen asleep no prob. it worked for my son, but not everyone hads the same results. also you might try lying your baby down before they got  tooo sleepy. they tend to go down better when they are not extremely tired.

Answer 7

i used the ferber method with ruby at 9 1/2 months and it was a miracle. she was waking every hour all night long to be rocked and then spending her days miserable from fatigue -- and she wouldn't nap longer than 30 minutes. if done correctly, ferberizing actually MINIMIZES overall crying in the process of teaching self soothing and in the future. i highly recommend it. but to do it well, you really should read the chapters in his book that explain it. your success really depends on consistency and sticking to the program -- meaning timing your intervals, etc. get the book "solving your child's sleep problems" by richard ferber. ruby is a happier, healthier child for having learned to sleep (and, yes, she like some other babies, needed help learning how). it was hard to hear her cry at all -- still is. but she never cried over bed time anymore. she tells ME when she wants to go to bed -- naps, too. some kids need this; if yours does, you are helping him, not huritng him. 9 months is a good age to start. good luck.

edit: mcmom has no idea what she is talking about. ignore her. all babies are different. many babies respond to easier approaches. some do not. i was firmly against any crying -- even ferber, which is not real CIO -- until i had ruby. and i tried everything possible before ferber. nothing else worked. ferber worked beautifully. and there was never more than 35 minutes crying TOTAL -- and 15 minutes was the longest she ever cried without me going to her, and that was after going at 5 minutes and then 10. despite the preachy, narrowminded c**p you get from others on here, there are babies for whom this is the right approach. if yours is one, there is nothing neglectful about it. protest crying is very different than other cries. if you are close to your baby, you know if he is ready -- you know if he is scared or not, hurting or not. don't listen to the lectures that you specifically asked to be spared. idiots.

edit#2: the first answer -- she is describing the ferber technique. funny how she has no thumbs down and so many up, yet i suggest the same thing and get much different responses. i love it. something personal, ladies? i certainly hope so. the last thing i want is the approval of a bunch of mediocre minded pedants.

Answer 8

What I have done in the past is called "controlled crying". You let them cry for about 10 minutes and if they are still going after that, go in and just pat them on the back. But you shouldn't take them out of the cot! Then when they settle a bit, just back out again. This could take a while tho so be prepared (but it's worth it in the end). Then leave it say 12 minutes the next time. Then go back in and pat on the back. But if this seems too long then you can make the times of crying a bit shorter. Once they learn that you won't just go in and run to their beck and call, the will tend to get bored and learn to put themselves to sleep - or just ware themselves out completely from all the crying!! ;)

I've had to do it with both of my boys at one stage and trust me, it's definately worth it in the end when they go down no dramas :)

Also, do you put him down for a sleep when he's content? Coz if you put him down when he's already cranky, he will stay cranky. I would say to put him down before he gets to that stage.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Never listen to Mcb!Tch

Answer 10

Hi. I do have experience with this and will not lecture you. It is actually good for your baby to learn how to fall asleep on his own. This is what you want to do. Establish a routine and keep it that way everyday.

This is what I did with mine

I made sure she was fed, burped and had a little time to play beforehand. Then I gave her a bath and changed her in her room with the lights already down low. After she was dressed, I rocked her and sang "night night baby, it's time to go to sleep" then put her in the crib and left the room. She did cry and scream bloody murder for 37 minutes the first day. Advised by a book, I went in the room every 5-10 minutes ( not picking her up ) just saying it's okay, goodnight. Then left again. Everyday got easier after that. Less and less crying and took to the schedule very easily. Good luck to you. Dont worry....you are doing the right thing and soon your son will be able to sleep on his own!

P.S. If he cries for more than an hour, then he may not be tired at that point and you may need to try it again later.

Answer 11

I could not leave a baby crying for hours, all it achieves is a very distressed child.

However, I did end up having a problem with my first child who I used to sit in the room with until she had settled and then I couldn't leave the room when she was much older!

I learnt with my next child! Get him settled and then leave the room. If he starts to cry, only leave him for 5 mins. Return to the room but don't pick him up or talk to him, just stroke his hand or forehead to calm him down. WHen settled again, leave the room. If he cries leave it for 10 mins before returning and do the same soothing thing but don't pick up or talk.

You may have to do this for some time extending the waiting time a bit but eventually they will fall asleep. They need reassurance that you are still around but won't get much attention if they make a fuss.

Hope it helps.

Answer 12

I have let my kids cry it out .

When getting my daughter into a nap routine, I knew when she was getting tired. I would put her down and she would cry. I would say "nighty night sweetie pie!" put on her bedtime music and walk out.

She would cry for 5-10 minutes (max) and then drift off. After time she learned it was pointless to cry. I wasn't going to pick her up. She would roll over and take her nap.

There were times when she wouldn't calm down. I could tell her cries where getting more insistant. Then you just have to admit that they aren't going to nap and get them. I didn't want to get her into a hysterical mess.

Keep plugging away and try to be consistent. You're basically trying to teach your child that its time to sleep. Crying won't change your mind.

Answer 13

I tried to do CIO and i couldn't do it. It broke my heart. Now, with the 2nd one, we let her stir for a few minutes before we get her to see if she will settle back down.

My oldest (the CIO one) was always a HORRIBLE sleeper. She stopped napping at 15 month and would stay up till 10 pm. and get up at 7-8. She just doesn't require as much sleep as other kids. maybe yours is like that too! Who knows!

i wish you the best of luck!  

Answer 14

humm.. what are you doing to make him fall asleep? maybe put some lullaby music or lullaby tv.. or maybe he is not tired enough when its nap time... or he is to tired so try to put him early to nap... you need to find a way for him to soothe himself...  

Answer 15

I work in a childcare facility in the infant/toddler room where we have more than one child to take care of at a time,so I have experience with letting children 'cry it out'. I suggest you do your normal naptime routine,whatever it may,and when you finally lay him down to sleep let him cry it out,if he gets too worked up pick him up,let him know it's okay,and that you still love him and then lay him back down...it will b hard but it can be done! Don't let him get too worked up though because you may miss the sleep window which can lead to an over tired baby who won't sleep at all! Good luck momma!

Answer 16

We found that when our kids are fighting sleep and crying that hard that they are often overtired.  Moving their bedtime earlier and being careful about their naptime helped a ton.  When they aren't overtired, they fall asleep far more easily.